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Real Housewives of Miami

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The reality TV viewer numbers for Sunday and Monday are in. Honestly, there isn't a whole lot to report, as most of the audiences are holding steady. 

Real Housewives of New Jersey didn't seem to be affected by the terribly boring Emmy Awards, which managed nearly 18 million viewers.  Melissa's singing and the Posche 2 party brought 2.476 million viewers (compared to last week's 2.404) to Bravo.  Will Stiletto Gate give the season finale a boost?

Also on Sunday, 2.010 million Kody fans tuned in to the season finale of Sister Wives. 1.903 million stuck around for the Whiners, err, Wives Tell All special.

On Monday night, Real Housewives of Miami and Basketball Wives fell hard, each losing roughly 250,000 viewers. This week, only 812,000 tuned in to see Joanna and Adriana's wedding prep, and the hot mess that was Tasha's weave bar grand opening attracted just 1.723 million.

Teen Mom 3 remained steady with the baby daddy drama and 1.429 million viewers.  Mondays are a bitch?  Maybe for Bravo - but not for MTV. 

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Last season Ana Quincoces was sobbing buckets at the prospect of actually getting a divorce. 

And now the former Real Housewives of Miami star is engaged! Ana announced the happy news on twitter, she also showed off her ring on The View last Friday. 

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Bravo's Real Housewives of Miami in New York

Apparently while many of us struggle to pay rent, some of us struggle to find ways to spend our money. Oh to be a Real Housewife of Miami

Lisa Hochstein found true love when she received her first Birkin and she's been on a path to reclaim that feeling ever since. In her embarrassingly gushing sollioquy espousing the glory that is Hermes last night she bounced up and down like a five-year-old in a candy store at the thought of amassing more of these glorious $20,000 creatures. They are, after all, so rare that every Housewife in every city owns like 9 of them. #Firkin

In a new blog, Fembot continues her Birkin lovefest. Does she think Hermes will pony up a free bag if she praises them enough? "Lea [Black] and I both love Birkins. She is a seasoned collector," Lisa begins, wishing upon wishes that she were Lea Black instead of upstart Lisa Hochstein. 

"I know it sounds ridiculous to spend that kind of money on a handbag, but I like to look at them as an investment. They hold their value forever if you take good care of them," Lisa explains. How about looking at a college degree as an investment? "Although I have no intention of ever selling my Birkins, many times they are resold for a much higher price." Oh – well good to know. In fact, that's how she can get more. Screw the waiting list and offer to pay off some of the other Housewives debt in exchange for one of their old Birkins! 

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rhom-recap

I dunno… maybe Real Housewives of Miami is growing on me. It's so… glossy. I mean, I'm a girl who loves a soap opera and since reality TV is just as staged and melodramatic as Revenge, why not amp up the glamour and make it look as glossy as Revenge. Although if Emily Thorne ever sports leopard print tuxedo trousers with a neon racing stripe Imma have serious issues.  

So last night the bionic blonde trio of Lea Black, Joanna Krupa, and Fembot Fakenstein traveled to LA for a little wedding planning. You wouldda thought it was the first time these broads had been on an airplane before with all the handycam footage they were shooting. Lisa gleefully popped a tranquilizer of some sort then put both legs behind her head contortionist style and bragged that Lenny really likes that move. Um… I have never seen an adult woman that flexible – even in yoga – did she get her hipbones removed or something? Is she entirely made of high-grade silicone. She's definitely a fembot. 

Then they arrive at Joanna's LA home, which is really pretty. Lisa looses track of her giant suitcase, which weighs approximately double what she does even when she wears 7" platforms. It starts rolling away from her down the driveway. She takes off after it fearing for the life of her Louboutins and ends up in the street desperately tripping over the giant thing. That was seriously the funniest scene I've ever seen on this show. It was classic and adorable. 

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Joanna Krupa is easily one of the most controversial characters on Real Housewives of Miami. Helloooo – she slapped someone!

One thing I appreciate about Joanna is her ballsy candor and she really does seem unafraid to put herself out there, lack of sex life and all! In a new interview with A Drink With… blog, Joanna dishes on the show and insists she's exactly how she seems on TV!

"What pisses me off are people who try to pretend like they are so perfect, I’m not going to name names but it’s really annoying," Joanna says. "Just don’t pretend that you are somebody you’re not!" 

One thing she does think was misrepresented about her was that she is an alcoholic. "I don’t have an alcohol problem! Last season was really tough for me because I’m a lightweight," Joanna insists. "After I have one or two drinks if somebody pisses me off I get really verbal." 

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Lea Black

Poor Lea Black has found herself in an unfortunate Housewives tableau: the most popular Housewife from any given show inevitably gets turned on by cast members/former friends angry that they're not getting a bigger piece of the popularity pie! 

This season Lea is getting some hot and spicy mean girl served up in the form of Adriana de Moura, who obviously is hoping to distract from her own grifter lying ways by trying to make Lea look bad. It's a familiar story in the Housewives Kingdom. Responding to Adriana's rudeness and accusations in the last episode of Real Housewives of Miami, Lea denies lying about her marriage and claims she is absolutely not out to destroy her former BFFL! 

"No, I didn't put an article in the paper about Adriana's marriage license. That has been proven over and over again. The original source was someone on Twitter who has subsequently acknowledged breaking the story," Lea begins in her Bravo blog. And true – that is where the original story came from – just ask us as we were right thick in the middle of it!

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Macy's Passport Presents Glamorama - Arrivals

It's that time of the week!  Let's see what our favorite (and sometimes not-so-favorite) reality TV stars have been up to over the past week.

Above: Lydia McLaughlin and Gretchen Rossi hit the red carpet together at the Orpheum Theatre.

Below you'll find La La Anthony, Real Housewives of Orange County's Alexis Bellino, Real Housewives of New Jersey star Kathy Wakile at an event with husband Rich, Hollywood Exes star Nicole Murphy, new Dancing with the Stars competitor Snooki, Bethenny Frankel in a bath towel and many more!

 

Photo Credit: Getty Images

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It's the Sunday and Monday ratings wrap-up time! With Keeping Up With The Kardashians still on a fall break (but filming their Christmas special), Sunday's competition was a little bit slimmer. 

Penny Karagiorgis did little to save Real Housewives of New Jersey's ratings! The show was only up slightly with 2.4 million viewers, landing itself as #8 on the list of Cable 100 shows according to Futon Critic.

Kody Brown's hair had almost as many watchers! Sisters Wives drew 2.3 million viewers. Seriously people… the flowing locks. The delusion – it's irresistible! The other TLC polygamous drama My 5 Wives also attracted a fairly big draw. 1.8 million people wanted to see the man that beat Kody in the kreepy department by marrying cousins

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