Last night was the pre-finale for Real Housewives Of New Jersey. Since Jacqueline Laurita had laryngitis, she let Milinia do all the talking for her. Finally because at least Milania’s outbursts make a lot more sense! A silent Jacq is still deadly though… thank be the powers of the smart phone put into dumb hands.
Oh that Milania, I don’t care – I love her. Teresa Giudice acknowledges that Milania is not adjusting well to Juicy being “away.” And why should she? On Juicy’s first day in the slammer, Joe,Melissa Gorga, and the kids come over with sprinkle cookies Chinese food to check in on Teresa and the girls. They find Milania mouthing off all kinds of projecting, and Teresa is in a tailspin.
Last night Real Housewives Of New Jersey lost one of its greatest assets when Joe Giudice left for prison. Just think – all it took for the Gorgadices to mend their family feud was for Juicy to get incarcerated!
The episode begins counting down the days before Joe goes “away” for 41 months. No one feels it as deeply as Teresa Giudice, who tries to make each moment count with special activities for the girls to bond with their dad. First is a little Magnolia Bakery plug to decorate cupcakes for the birthdays Joe will miss while locked up. Also, there was glitter and we know Teresa has never been able to turn her back on an errant piece of glitter.
Siggy Flicker may be Real Housewives Of New Jersey‘s resident (self-appointed) relationship expert, but I’m questioning her sanity and her advice. I mean for all this tawk about soldiers, she’s sure turned into one of Jacqueline Laurita‘s right quick! Jacqueline’s bite is just as scary as her bark, so I get it.
As Dolores Catania warns, Siggy better stop throwing salami and provolone into the pen because when she runs out the Jacqocerous is going to get very angry and chomp her hand.
Honestly, Dolores is far more capable as a relationship expert when it comes to the chaos of Jersey than Siggy.
Last night was the dramatic conclusion of the Real Housewives Of New Jerseytrip to Vermont. What started as a half-hearted placebo of a cast trip which no one was really thrilled to be attending, turned into attack of the abominable Sno-Housewife roaring her icy accusations into everyone’s chicken wing salad. I don’t know that I was entertained, per se, but there were lots of twists and turns on the bobsled ride to hell and back!
Being around Jacqueline Laruita must be so exhausting. Like trying to chart tornado paths. Honestly – I’d rather just go hide in the bomb cellar, cause with Jacqueline you never know if you’re going to get Glinda the Good Witch or her sister, and no sparkly shoes are worth all that drama.
To Vermont we go! To Vermont we go… You can take the girls out of Jersey but you can’t take the Real Housewives Of New Jersey out of the girls! Even if you put them in big giant snow boots and plain old terry cloth bathrobes. Last night also signified the return of Kim D (for Desperate!), which in my book is always a good thing! Run on with the big boys, Kim, run on!
Melissa Gorga has lofty ideas to turn the trip to Vermont into one last relaxing weekend for Teresa Giudice before Joe goes to prison and Teresa becomes a single mom. Melissa even invited Teresa’s close friends Robyn and Christina. Unfortunately, Teresa’s girls weekend is beset by problems from the get-go. Two of those problems are named Kathy Wakile and Rosie Pieri.
Season 7 of Real Housewives Of New Jersey continues to center around the transformation of Teresa Giudice. Flashbacks to the season 4 reunion feature an enraged Teresa, morphed into TreHulk – bright green dress and all! – screaming into Kathy Wakile‘s face, contrasted with a post-prison Teresa, calmly explaining that she’s just “not ready” to deal with the emotional weight of rebuilding her relationships with her cousins. Instead, it is Rosie screaming in frustration.
It exemplifies a point that no one on Real Housewives of New Jersey seems to understand until it is way too late: no matter how much you want it so, no matter how much you regret your actions – from the person you married, to the words you said, to all the money you shouldn’t have spent – you can’t erase the past. In the immortal words of Cher, “If I could turn back time/If I could find a way/ I’d take back those words that hurt you…”
On last night’s Real Housewives Of New Jersey, desperation and delusion was in the air…I am pretty sure that scent is sprayed over Montville with a crop duster.
Siggy Flicker doesn’t seem to understand that her children are not squishy stuffed animals she can squeeze, squeal at, dress up, and toss around. On the other hand, Siggy’s children don’t understand that she is their mother and they should show her some respect! I dunno maybe it has something to do with Siggy decorating her daughter’s room in No.1 Sophie paraphernalia? Or acting like One Direction has showed up every time she sees Josh?
When Josh returns home from passing his driver’s test, the very first words out of mouth are “When are you gonna buy me a car?” Someone is driving straight into his future on the Teresa Giudice entitlement train!
On last night’s Real Housewives Of New Jersey, the saga of Teresa Giudice‘s never-wavering love for Joe continued. Unfortunately for Joe, he’s about to go away for a 41 month ‘staycation’ at the federal penitentiary and no home security cameras are gonna replace him once Teresa takes over.
While Joe binge drinks and verbally abuses his dog, daughters, and wife, Teresa gets ready for the official launch of Turning The Tables. A lot rests on this little book – a veritable ‘How Not To’ manual for aspiring Italian Housewives everywhere. A tale as aged as wine of a woman who vowed to stand by her man through orange is the new black, through bankruptcy and back, through thick and thickening girth, through humiliation and outbursts, through cheating and chutzpah…