Last night on Real Housewives of New Jersey we open with the drama at the First Responsers Ball, where the pillars of RHONJ society congregated in their Partay Citay deluxe luxury couture vinyl posche-y firehoochie ensembles (basically this is like the MET Gala of Franklin Lakes, NJ, here people).
Of course not everyone was in the party mood, despite the finest quality vinyl they were wearing. Amber Marchese had her hair yanked out and her husband had his authority questioned. Jim Marchese whispers in Poison’s ear (not in the way that gets the poison flowing), that he is a “dumb f***” then walked out the door. And Poison, our jr muscle man hopped out of his chair, swimming in his fireman couture, and followed Jim to demand an apology.
Jim does not fight – he’s an attorney and an upstanding citizen who will just have you arrested. Then sued. Oh yes – Jim is a grown man who does not brawl in someone’s basement wearing a low-rent version of Kappa Kappa Gamma’s Halloween party garb. Nor does Jim exchange blows on the snow covered sidewalk of a New Jersey McMansion.
Amber defends her husband Jim Marchese from Dina Manzo saying on tonight’s episode that his level of douche was equivalent to the size of a whale’s vagina. “I don’t think she knows my husband well enough. She never gave him the chance or the time of day. When you know him, you love him.”
Co-guest David Arquette remarks that the way Jim was talking down to the ladies wasn’t cool. Amber says “you have to understand I was just attacked downstairs and we come upstairs and they’re like all trying to come at him.”
David then tells her that Jim’s talking head interview where he spews about being a lawyer and will sue and take people down, blah blah, “also not a good look,” he says. I love David Arquette. But then he adds “he seems like a sweet enough guy but..” and Amber jumps in with “but watch out, he’ll sue you.” Awkward. She seems to be the only one who finds it funny.
Jacqueline and sister-in-law (and fellow resurrected Housewife) Dina Manzo don’t speak after the last time they were on RHONJ together, and Dina has vowed never to do a reality show with family again. Too late because Jacqs needs the money and attention!
Despite a public twitter feud (mostly perpetrated by Ashlee Holmes) at the beginning of the season which exposed how strained Jacqueline and Dina’s relationship is, Jacqueline’s intentions for returning to RHONJ reportedly have nothing to do with confronting Dina or getting into a public fight. And then of course there was the rumor that Dina got Jacqueline fired in the first place…
The fiery twin shared her remorse over what happened. “One important thing I want to make clear, VERY CLEAR, is that I do not condone violence. I regret that the whole physical altercation ever took place. It was truly unfortunate and undignified. I have never been in that position before and hope to God I never will be again.”
Amber revealed that she felt betrayed by Melissa and the twins, Teresa and Nicole, who she referred to as “little evil minions” and “dumb and dumber.”
“I know this blog definitely has a lot of anger, and that’s because I have a lot of anger when thinking of this episode,” acknowledged Amber. “I drank plenty of Patron and had a lot of my friends around to get through it.”
New housewife Amber Marchese has dived right in with both Louboutins and is starting drama left and right – and it’s not just Amber, it’s also her husband Jim! Last week Jim shared that he did not feel comfortable socializing with Joe and Teresa because they were indicted for mortgage fraud and he is in the mortgage industry. There’s also some confusing information about whether or not he works with the prosecutor who is prosecuting Juicy.
In this week’s episode Jim argued with Joe Gorga about why he was avoiding the Juicys, and Teresa is speaking out about how Jim’s comments have been hurtful and uncalled for.
In case you missed it… Amber Marchese told Melissa Gorga that she heard Nicole Napolitano broke up someone’s marriage, and Melissa took the gossip back to Nicole. Then at the first responders party, which raised awareness for really slutty costumes instead of money, Nicole “went right for the physical” with Amber. While Amber pretended she didn’t hear anyone ask what SHE did to set off Nicole, Jim Marchese made a huge show out of depositing his wife’s pulled out hair on Bobby Ciasulli‘s kitchen counter. Gross.
Now Melissa is complaining about Amber putting her in a bad position. HAHA. Melissa knew exactly what she was doing – pulling a Tamra Barney to keep herself relevant – when she told Nicole what Amber said. For Melissa to clutch her pearls over the fight that ensued is comical.