All the talk of Teresa Giudice getting a spinoff seems to be unnecessary as the entire plot of Real Housewives of New Jersey revolves around her. For once I don’t believe Teresa is delusional – I mean, everybody is always talking about her, amirite?
Teresa‘s latest Bravo blog addresses former friend turned stalker/nemesis Caroline Manzo‘s crazy comments about Teresa’s marriage and the passive aggressive comments she believes Kathy Wakile made about her cookbook. Hang on, you’re in for a loooong RHONJ post!
“You’d think by now I’d be used to everyone on the show talking about me non-stop every single episode, but I’ll admit I was shocked by Caroline’s comment about my marriage,” Teresa begins.
“Not because I don’t expect her to say nasty things about me and to constantly judge of me — that’s what she does. To quote Audriana‘s favorite movie right now, The Little Mermaid: ‘It’s what she lives for.’ (Caroline does remind me of Ursula, come to think of it…) What shocked me is her hypocrisy.”
On last night’s episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey (brought to us by the Bravo Home Shopping Network) the ladies brought home the bacon while the menfolk sat around the kitchen table gossiping and snarking like old biddies. I applaud the progressive feminist nature of these industrious girls. Except for the one whose husband said he owned her. Yeah, that one needs to take a women’s studies class, stat!
So things begin with Teresa Giudice - or is Joodichee? Our favorite Jersian wordsmith has apparently, once again, forgotten how to pronounce her ever-shifting last name. Teresa’s newest venture is branding herself – I think she should start with having a consistent pronunciation of her own name, but that’s just my suggestion. “Branding” means adding Fabellini to her ever-expanding product repertoire. I swear Teresa makes up these words, Fabulicious, Fabellini, etc because she can’t actually pronounce any real words!
Teresa is in the car with Joe Goodouchée and they are headed to a vineyard, she thinks. Despite the fact that she is now in the wine making business, madame Giuhoochie has no idea where wine comes from or where one goes to taste wine.
Teresa Giudice has done insulted reality show royalty. The woman who just can’t seem to to be on good terms with anyone recently slammed Bethenny Frankel‘s infamous Skinnygirl cocktails!
On tonight’s episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey, Teresa compares her Fabellini to Bethenny‘s Skinnygirl empire. “My thing is I don’t like anything that tastes diet-y,” she explains. “For instance, Skinnygirl tastes diet-y. I don’t like that.”
Teresa seconded the claim on her Fabulicious website, writing: “I’m so so so proud of it. And it tastes delicious!!! And Fabellini is low calorie–less than 1/2 the calories of other ‘skinny’ drinks.”
Danielle (along with actress Nikki Blonsky and General Hospital actor Freddie Smith) was asked by Children Uniting Nations to participate in discussions with Congress in Washington D.C. about children’s initiatives that are currently pending. At the conference, Danielle shared with the panel her personal connection to the issue of bullying and her children’s experiences with bullying.
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Ok blk…. we’ve been hearing about your fulvic acid and alkaline goodness for two seasons on Real Housewives of New Jersey. I always thought alkaline was the thing that made batteries go, and to my knowledge batteries are toxic. Well, I decided to take one for the team and test out this blk. Below is my review haiku.
So in 5-7-5 pentameter without further ado, I present: blk., A Review Haiku:
The time is almost here (for the 6 of you who have been waiting with bated breath) for the announcement of the naming of Teresa Giudice’s new hair care line – the latest endorsement in a long line of RealHousewives products. Tomorrow is the big day! After a month of hearing feedback and taking votes, the name will be unveiled.
Let’s play a round of “You Name It!” Give us your best picks for Teresa’s new hair care products if the decision was yours to make!
Last night on the Real Infomercials of New Jersey the Bravo Home Shopping Network was in full-swing. I see everyone can behave when they’ve got stuff to sell! We’re not stupid, Bravo, we know this was a filler episode designed to get some swag promotion before you hit us with the heavy drama next week. Too bad most of us were too bored to pay attention.
Now there were some positives to this episode. The Gorgas and the Giudices got along and Teresa Giudice and Melissa Gorga, dare I say it, seemed to be enjoying each other’s company and bonding! I like them getting along and I think it makes better TV. It really is time for both parties to let this feud die; it’s boring, redundant, and both sides are equally at fault.
Other positives, both Melissa and Gia had amazing performances at Beatstock. I know Melissa was lip syncing, but isn’t that standard? I mean doesn’t Britney Spears lip sync at a live performance?