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Real Housewives of New York

Last night’s episode of Real Housewives of New York was a hot mess of faux pas, inappropriate comments, and geriatric sexual harassment. I guess you could call this episode the George & Ramona show, because well that’s what happened. The two of them demonstrated that their concept of social etiquette evaporated sometime around the dinosaur era as they fought to one-up each other in the rude and out-of-control category.

Maybe Aviva Drescher was trying to get her dad some air time to gain relevance, maybe he acted more out of order than usual because he was hoping to stage a fifth wind career revival – who knows, but you and I both know Andy Cohen loves an old sassy so Papaviva will be making an appearance on WWHL very soon.

Before all that happened Carole Radziwill also headed to Miami for a one-day Bravo sponsored trip to visit her friend, jewelry designer Ranjana Khan. Ranjana also does this thing called face yoga as a side-job. Basically it was yet another chance for her to advertise her product – and for Carole to call out LuAnn de Lesseps on “friend jumping.” Is this going to become a thing? I makes me think of Heathers meets Tremors.

Anyway, Aviva calls to inform Carole that things with Ramona Singer are going, well, the way things always go with Ramona – like rancid unchilled pinot drank out of a Tupperware container. That’s a metaphor for BAD. Carole is like ‘Oh tee-hee… I’m not going to make enemies of Ramona – that bish is psycho. I just call her bunny, because she’s got so much energy.’ Aviva, feeling like she just ran a half-marathon with a hang-over, lamely agrees.

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Jill Zarin is the mouth that just won’t quit. Literally. She is the Energizer Bunny of gossip, rumor mongering, and spilling the beans.

In her latest gossip “slip,” the former Real Housewives of New York villainess refuses to let go of the past as she tries to take credit for Real Housewives of New Jersey‘s RV trip to Napa.

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First Simon van Kempen got called out by Andy Cohen, now Alex McCord is being threatened by Bravo – allegedly, of course! Apparently Alex’s secrets-exposing Real Housewives of New York vlogs are not making the spurned Housewives any friends with network executives at Bravo.

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, I suppose!

According to the NY Daily News, a couple weeks ago the former Housewife received a “strong-worded letter” from Bravo execs concerning her weekly vlogs. Essentially Alex‘s secret-spilling has prompted a “put a lid on it” summation from the network.

An insider reveals that producers and executives are extremely unhappy that Alex has revealed that portions of the plot are influenced or manipulated by producers.

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super saturday 290712

Cast members of The Real Housewives of New York got together to hit a garage sale over the weekend!  OK, we know it wasn’t your typical yard sale where they had to touch the no-longer-wanted items of peasants, but instead a charity event.

Aviva Drescher, LuAnn de Lesseps, Carole Radziwill, and Heather Thomson hit up the good deals to be to had at the Super Saturday 15 event, which benefited the Ovarian Cancer Research Fund.

Kelly Ripa hosted the fundraising event, which included one-of-a-kind designer garage sale with over 200 designers, a kids carnival with rides, a raffle, fortune tellers, manicures and more.

Also in attendance – former RHONY cast member Jill Zarin, as well as Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star Kyle Richards.

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On this week’s episode of Real Housewives of New York we met the incorrigible skirt-chasing Papaviva. Aviva Drescher‘s dad, George, shares Pinot Singer‘s lack of tact (although his seems deliberate) and her penchant for the outrageous; naturally Aviva thought he would be perfect for Pinot bestie and fellow sexy times enthusiast Sonja Morgan.

Since this was filmed during a time when everyone was getting along, Sonja seemed game for the set-up. Well, uuuhhh… as evidenced by the previews – and by Sonja’s most recent Bravo blog; things have changed. And now Sonja is not so keen on Aviva‘s attempt to play matchmaker. Or Aviva in general!

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Last night on Real Housewives of New York the ladies competed for their country in the wine olympics. And it’s not surprising that the wino award went to Pinot Singer! In other news, Carole Radziwill still hates LuAnn de Lesseps! They’re so mature.

Things begin with Ramona hosting a post-London debriefing. She expects everyone will arrive and complain about the horror that is Heather Thomson. Pinot is pleasantly surprised to learn that instead everyone now hates LuAnn. Particularly Carole who is bristly over the fact that LuAnn tried to compare their books. No one even bought that horrible book Ramona reminds them.

Sonja Morgan is still bent out of shape that LuAnn is tall and enters the room first. Really? Is Height Gate going to become a thing?

Aviva Drescher arrives and shares that Ramona – and now Sonja are invited to Miami. And in a fun bravo manufactured coincidence Carole will also be there because some designer friend of her’s has an event or something. As a fun treat, Aviva reveals she has a geriatric gentleman just perfect for Sonja and as an added benefit he’s a viagra sex addict! ‘Oh, whooo is this charming man,’ Sonja purrs. ‘My father!’ Aviva announces. Oh that’s delightfully UN-awkward.

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 LuAnn de Lesseps is a reality show veteran which is why it’s surprising that she would find herself wrapped up in a cheating allegation orchestrated by Pinot Singer‘s stinger.

People is reporting that on a recent cast trip to St. Barts the Real Housewives of New York star was accused of getting frisky with a Frenchmen who wasn’t longtime boyfriend Jacques Azoulay! Well if she gets pregnant, I say call Maury for a paternity test!

The accused man – a Johnny Depp lookalike – was spotted at the vacation home by google-eyed Singer, ”I saw you here [at the house]. … OK, kiss and don’t tell,” Ramona remarks in an upcoming episode.

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As a writer you are challenged to encapsulate events and people in an exciting or innovative way. As a recapper you are challenged to reiterate exciting and crazy things that have already happened in a funny and innovative way. It’s a tough job.

Last night on Real Housewives of New York there were royal wars and pinot races. And nobody won at the end of an evening serenaded by the worst music I’ve ever heard on Housewives of anywhere – and that is really saying something. So Mazel, Cara Quici.

Things begin innocently enough with a bidet, some croquet, and champagne. Sonja Morgan, washing off the sins of her hangover, sticks her face in a bidet filled with ice. She does know what part of the anatomy a bidet is really for, correct?

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