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Real Housewives of Orange County

I know most people won't agree with me, but I like Heather Dubrow.  I daresay, she's my favorite of the ladies of Real Housewives of Orange County.  However, girlfriend needs to stop giving interviews that reference Alexis Bellino.  It's unbecoming.  This time around, she seems to be burying the hatchet, but still.  I can't wait until I can write about one of these women in one of the many franchises and actually use the phrase "took the high road."  A girl can dream, can't she?

This time around, Heather is discussing her time on the show, as well as her hesitation to join the cast.  She touches on the breakdown between Vicki Gunvalson and Tamra Barney's friendship and her disdain at the term "bullying" being thrown about in situations where it may not apply.  I'm not going to touch that comment with a ten-foot pole!

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Guess what guys?  Brooks Ayers is not a deadbeat dad.  I repeat, Brooks Ayers is not a deadbeat dad.  The love tank filler of Real Housewives of Orange County's Vicki Gunvalson wants to clear up some things for us.

If you recall, 20/20 did a report on Brooks where they claimed that he wasn't paying anything for his son with ex-girlfriend Nicolette Catanzarite and hadn't visited his son since he was 5 or 6 months old.  Furthermore, Nicolette claimed that she had no clue of Brooks' whereabouts until he showed up on RHOC!  Well, now the news program is setting the record straight thanks to ol' Brooks.

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So, let's get this straight, shall we?  Alexis Bellino has allegedly quit Real Housewives of Orange County, but yet she can't stop talking about it.  And neither can her co-stars.  There is so much she said/she said with these original ladies they may start being confused for their New Jersey counterparts.  Totally kidding!  The O.C. is too blonde.

Last season, Heather Dubrow lead the charge against Jesus Barbie in an attempt to find out why she needed to be equal parts fake and pretentious.  As you recall, it didn't go well.  Now Heather is back in media to dispute Alexis' multiple claims in the media that she quit the show instead of not being asked to return.  Does it matter?  Either way I have an Alexis-free season, and while I don't really like any of the women anymore (shocking, I know), she grated on my last nerve.

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Last week was a sad, sad week indeed. One of my favorite drama-seeking, delusional, Jimblob hugging, goofballs with a heart of gold and brain of hairspray decided to flee the coop and leave Real Housewives of Orange County!

Oh Alexis Bellino… why? Why you do this to me? Who will be the burst of ridiculous in a sea of bitches who take themselves way, way too seriously? I blame Gretchen Hiss-tine Bootay for this! To commemorate one of my favorite delusional blondes with boobs as big as the Hollywood Hills I now present, Jesus Barbie: A Retrospective. Let’s recap some of Alexis’ greatest moments, shall we?

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It seems that almost everyday there's a little buzz about which city will be hosting the next round of Bravo insanity with its own set of overly catty, surgically enhanced, and Botoxed to the hilt drama queens…marriage license preferred but certainly not required. 

While the Bravo cash cow has women fighting each other in franchises all over the country, one rumor has been consistent for a while.  Could Bravo be heading to the homeland of Eden and Cruz (yeah, I went there!) to film the next installment?  With the original Real Housewives of Orange County still bringing in the ratings and Real Housewives of Beverly Hills still bringing the most-talked about dramatics, wouldn't it make sense to go back to Cali for the next batch of crazy? 

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While her emerging fan base will be sad to see her go, the trampoline dynasty will surely be thrilled to hear the latest Real Housewives of Orange County news!  Alexis Bellino has announced that she won't be returning next season…by her own choice.

Those last three words, for me, are hard to swallow, as I can't see Alexis, as nice and clueless as she may appear, stepping out of the limelight of her own accord.  In the past season, Alexis became the brunt of most of the ladies' drama, although she did kind of shoot herself in the foot by acting so pretentious and holier than thou.  But that's just me.  At least she has a bounce kingdom to oversee…it's the small things, right?

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It wouldn't be a mature adult relationship if it wasn't playing out dramatically over Twitter, right?  There is just something so sexy about a grown man who has nothing better to do with his time than to passive aggressively tweet about everything under the son.  Thank you, Brooks Ayers, for showing me exactly what I want in my dream guy!

Brooks, who has been dating Real Housewives of Orange County's Vicki Gunvalson, has recently had a lot to say in the Twitterverse.  I guess not working allows him that grand luxury.  I wonder what I would do if I didn't have to work.  Oh, I know!  I'd perfect my ability to engage with strange and often angry female fans of Bravo in 140 characters or less…

The comments that Brooks has been tweeting in the last week have many speculating whether he is still filling Vicki's love tank with daily affirmations.  The couple has met with a firestorm of criticism from fans, friends, and family alike, although both have put forth a united front.  However, maybe the major lack of support from family is finally wearing on the pair.  Vicki's daughter Briana Culberson has made no secret about her disdain for Brooks, who she believes in a con man.  Likewise, her husband Ryan isn't Brooks' biggest fan.  You all recall that Ryan called Brooks a "manipulative POS" last week on the social networking site.

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Is Jesus Barbie packing up her accessories and retreating back into her dream house?  Sources are claiming that Alexis Bellino is officially done with Real Housewives of Orange County.

We're not holding our breath, since she's been changing her story for months now.  These "sources" tell Us Weekly, "Alexis was really tired of being bullied and chose home and family life over celebrity. She wanted to go back to her simple life in Orange County."

Between the reports of Jim wanting Alexis to quit, Alexis claiming Bravo definitely wanted her for the next season, and Alexis telling Bravo she wanted to include and invoke a buddy clause in her new contract, who can keep it all straight? 

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