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Celebrities at the ITV studios

The bad news is that they appear to be back, but the good news is it doesn't sound like they will be procreating any time soon. Of whom am I speaking? Why Speidi, of course! On the heels of debuting an E! special, Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt also admitted to blowing through millions of dollars at the height of their reality infamy. After Shock: Heidi and Spencer aired on Monday, and the couple spoke candidly about playing villains on the a myriad of reality shows, beginning with The Hills.

Us Weekly breaks down the hour-long insider look at the pair, noting that it's difficult to tell just how "real" the pair was on the E! show. Spencer shared with viewers, "I don't think we've ever gotten to be the real Heidi and Spencer on TV," adding that the show was all about faking scenes and creating drama.

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Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt Signing at WHSmith at Brent Cross

I guess all the crystals in the world can't heal stupidity. Reality television's original villain and his surgically enhanced wife are finally admitting what we've all known for years…they were foolish. Heidi Montag was the fresh-faced, doe-eyed biffle of Laguna Beach alum Lauren Conrad when the girls conquered The Hills. Enter Spencer Pratt as Heidi's love interest and friendships crumble, siblings take sides, and the ridiculousness that is Speidi was born.

They started out tame enough, but quickly morphed into the most hated couple that seemed to thrive off of their horrific reputations. Then Heidi went and became a human Barbie getting oodles of plastic surgery including basketball sized tatas, and Spencer became obsessed with quartz. It didn't end well. Thankfully, they faded off into obscurity…kind of. 

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courtney-stodden-new-lips

It's your daily dose of TMI straight from the mouths of babes…and by "babes" I mean "kids" or "young people" not "hot chicks" just so we're on the same page. Today's skin crawl-worthy update comes to us from the newly separated Courtney Stodden. Bless her heart. 

In a recent interview, the reality star (is that what we should call her?) and former child bride of Doug Hutchison opens up about what went south in her relationship. Apparently, the eighteen-old-started looking at him as less like a husband and more like a (I'm just going to say it) father-figure. Plus, she likes wild and crazy sex, and Dougie just couldn't keep up in his old age. Someone please pass the bleach.  There are some things the imagination just can't unsee. {Shudder}

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Paris Hilton Leaves to China with her D J equipment

Well, if it isn't news from the original sex tape to reality star queen herself?  Or was it the other way around…reality star to sex tape? To be honest, it's been so long since Paris Hilton has been a fixture in the tabloid circuit, I can't even remember. These days her aunts Kyle and Kim Richards are more prominent in reality television gossip than the once over-exposed (in more ways than one!) heiress…although we all know how much Kyle loves to name-drop her niece at any given opportunity

Not that I'm complaining about Paris' hiatus.  Hats off to her for knowing when enough was getting to be enough. Too bad her former bestie Kim Kardashian kan't take the hint. Now Paris is once again answering questions about her leaked sexcape aptly named "One Night In Paris." Porn names are so clever.

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tamera-mowry-tia-mowry

It's a good day to be one of the Mowry twins. I've adored them both since Sister Sister, so naturally I was obsessed with their reality show on Oxygen. I guess I need to start checking out Nickelodeon and DVR-ing the The Real to get my fix of Tia and Tamera.

Tia has been starring in the show Instant Mom on Nick at Nite, and it's been wildly successful for the network. Meanwhile Tamera's talk show The Real has been picked up by BET and Fox for a two-year run after proving to be a hit in its test markets.

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buying naked tlc

Well, this shouldn't shock you. The network that has brought us such gems as Toddlers and Tiaras, Here Comes Honey Boo Boo, and Breaking Amish (and don't think I don't DVR every last one of them!!) has totally outdone itself. The channel once known as The Learning Channel wants to teach you about nudists. That's right, y'all! Get ready for Buying Naked, TLC's sure to be latest hit.

The show follows a realtor in Pasco County, Florida which she hails as the nudist capital of the world with over a dozen communities where folks can let it all hang out…literally. She's the premiere saleswoman for nekkid homes, describing her clients as not wearing any pants, yet still having deep pockets.  I can't even. I mean. Yes. This is an actual thing. Thank you TLC. I have now officially seen everything…and I can't unsee the preview!

Be sure to check out a sneak peek of Buying Naked after the jump, but be forewarned…there are a lot of hairy bums (no blurring here!) and strategically placed garden hoses (true story) and margarita glasses. I wish I were making this up!

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Mark Wahlberg

I'm not trying to wish away 2013 by any stretch of the imagination, but 2014 seems to be shaping up to be just peachy in regard to new reality shows. 

The original member of the Funky Bunch turned acclaimed actor and Entourage creator? Check. My favorite member of NKOTB turned scary guy in Sixth Sense? Check. Their mother and brother Paul? The actual dudes who inspired the characters in Entourage? Check and check. Your interest has to be piqued, right?

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osbournes-sharon-quits-agt-jack-ms-diagnosis

I think we can pretty much credit MTV with the birth of reality television thanks to the explosion of The Real World, but it didn't stop there. Think about all of the families we watch on a weekly basis, from the Robertsons to the Kardashians to everyone in between. Where did the madness begin? Some may say with a ride on the crazy train courtesy of The Osbournes.  Don't act like you didn't watch!

We saw Jack and Kelly Osbourne grow up on camera (although eldest daughter Amy didn't participate) with the always hilarious chirping busybody of a "mum" Sharon and bumbling, mumbling former death metal star Ozzy.  And, of course, don't forget their tiny pooches! Now Kelly is a fashion consultant for E! and Jack is family man–how precious is his wife? (pictured with him and his parents above)–currently competing on Dancing with the Stars…but do they ever think about going back to the days of reality television's first family?

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