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I feel like I need to pull out my Sweet Valley High slam book for the fiasco that was Sunday's Real Housewives of Atlanta. Most likely to spend her life barefoot and pregnant? Oh, wait, she left the show for her own spin-off…Best looking? Let's ask the folks over at Miss America USA if pretty is as crazy does. As for biggest mouth, I think we can all agree that NeNe Leakes will own what she says–and twist it accordingly to serve her purpose.

This week the Neenster got into a war of words with Phaedra Parks and her special skills. While I'm sure she was known for her oral arguments in law school, NeNe insinuated that Phaedra had other oral accomplishments back in high school. Ladies, ladies, can't we all just get along?

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rhoa-recap

Last night's episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta was um… well, lemme just say this: they need to get a psychiatrist on that show to deal with all the crazies cause they are multiplying faster than we can keep up. Screw a reunion, let's just call Dr. Phil! 

Things begin with Kandi Burruss discussing Mama Joyce drama with her assistant/BFF Carmon. They're looking at wedding magazines, but they should have been looking at catalogs for mental hospitals! 

Carmon is not happy that Joyce is slandering her all over town by spreading completely baseless rumors that Carmon is sleeping with Todd. All because Todd is hanging in some photos in Kandi's hallway. If I were Todd I would hang the photos of Mama Joyce in the basement - behind the water heater. 

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porsha-stewart

Porsha Stewart has officially and legally shed Kordell Stewart from her life as their divorce was finalized this week. And she's now also dropping his last name!

According to Kordell's attorney Porsha was threatening to stay a "Stewart" despite the divorce because her professional image was attached to the name, but she's now decided to take NeNe Leakes' advice and ditch the last name. 

"Kordell was very concerned about the damage it could cause," TMZ reports, "however, she reconsidered and decided to restore her maiden name, Williams."

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David Foster is honoured with a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame on Hollywood Boulevard

Is it opposites week? 

After several weeks on the air, Real Housewives of Atlanta and Love & Hip Hop nearly matched their premiere audiences this week. However, both shows lost viewers since last week, with 3.1 million catching Mama Joyce and Todd's face-to-face on RHOA and 2.959 million shaking their (amused) heads at Erica and Peter's foolishness on L&HH.

Meanwhile, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Vanderpump Rules, and Shahs of Sunset not only gained viewers this week, but they also logged their largest audiences this season.

A celebration filled episode of RHOBH brought 1.90 million viewers to Bravo, then 1.414 million viewers stuck around for Jax's health scare on Vanderpump Rules. And Shahs of Sunset bounced back from an embarrassing dip under the million mark with 1.464 million viewers. Impressive – but I'm anxious to find out how many return after witnessing Reza's ignorance this week. 

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porsha-stewart-kordell

Well, after 2 1/2 years of marriage Porsha Stewart is officially a single lady again!

The reality star finalized her divorce from Kordell Stewart and true to form things did not end amicably. 

At the center of the most recent contention are comments Porsha has been repeated making on Real Housewives of Atlanta alluding to the long-whispered rumors that Kordell is secretly gay.

Kordell has adamantly denied them and no proof has ever surfaced confirming Slash's sexuality, but that didn't stop Porsha from airing her grievances and expressing her hurt. The man did slash their marriage on Twitter, after all! 

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kenya-moore

I think it's safe to say that Apollo Nida and Kenya Moore won't be working together anytime in the near future. 

Kenya calls out Real Housewives of Atlanta's Apollo for being an immature liar, slamming his obvious disrespect for his marriage to Phaedra Parks, among other things.  "Watching Apollo repeatedly say he 'could have slept with me if he wanted to' and seeing the way he behaves in his marriage just reminds me of how immature, disrespectful, and dishonest he is to his wife, marriage, and in life. Leopards don’t change their spots. Lying landed him in prison. His mouth says one thing, but reality and his character speak volumes: If he could have, he would have. I’m done with this." 

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The Real Housewives of Atlanta - Season 5

Real Housewives of Atlanta's Kandi Burruss has always been one of the more mild-mannered, level-headed, successful in her own right outside of Bravo members of the franchise. Sure, she likes to stir the pot every now and then, but she usually remains impartial and even tempered.

I was hoping we'd get to watch Kandi enjoy her engagement to fiancee Todd Tucker on this season. It would be a nice change of pace from Kenya Moore's fan foolishness and her overexposed text triangle with Phaedra Parks' husband Apollo Nida.  Alas, even Kandi's story line is tainted with negativity. I'd say she should leave the drama to her mama, but unfortunately, that's exactly what's happening!

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rhoa-recap

The ladies of Real Housewives of Atlanta are having serious family problems this year. Luckily for us they still manage to throw shade and keep up the witty commentary. 

Phaedra Parks and Apollo are still having married people problems. Problems that come when one of said married persons chooses to possibly allegedly perhaps send illicit texts to a person whom they are not married to. Made even worse when the sext recipient is said wife's booticious enemy!

Phaedra and her entourage are headed to Alabama where she attends mortuary school and is studying for exams. Speaking of the dead, Phaedra leaves Apollo with dead silence since they are not speaking. In Phaedra's study group she talks all things Phunerals by Phaedra including that a good week for Willie Watkins has 15 funerals and she assists. 

Phaedra is considerably more real this season; like she seems to be less of the contrived Miz Parks, Southern Belle-nonsense and more like, 'I'm about to bury my husband and forget to embalm his manbits!'

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