Last night on Real Housewives of Atlanta things were light on crazy and heavy on confusion, double-speak, and tiaras. The most confusing thing happening was figuring out what languagePorsha Stewartand hubby Kordell are even speaking. I mean Porsha definitely lives in a world of her own vocabulary where meanings and pronunciation are like, kinda, irrelevind – right?!
As for Kordell, he's the king so he do what he wants and decided to tackle a little problem of Housewives diplomacy. There's no use! Is Kordell an otherworldly genius or just… um… well, not?
In other antics Cynthia Bailey decided being the hostess of a pageant also made her the queen of all she sees. Lady Bailey was rocking her little rhinestone tiara all over town in the hopes some fool would take notice of her regality – which also equated with being a biatch. I'm sure Porsha would describe it as bitchgality.
So let's begin… Kordell is turning the big 4-0. Which is like the new 15 or something. To celebrate his bithday Porsha is throwing him a Harlem Renaissance themed party. Since she's also helping Cynthia with the Miss Renaissance pageant, she's busting out a pageant gown-cum-Josephine Baker collection of dresses that are perfect for the twirl and wave. She's been reviewing Kenya Moore's Miss USA footage and practicing in secret.
'Here she comes… Miss America. Oh I mean, Miss WHOOOOOOO-S-AAAAAAAA…. '
First up, Phaedratells OK! that she has only put on a paltry 11lbs as she rounds out her second trimester and her doctors only expect her to gain 15-16lbs total by the end of her pregnancy! Huh? Is she even eating for one? "It's a little low," Phaedra concedes, "but I'm sure the baby will be healthy."
"I'm very busy: I'm a full-time student, full-time mom, have a law firm, work in a funeral home, I'm involved in the community, have a husband… So you know, I really don't have have time to think about food as much as some people. I live to work, not live to eat."
Throwback Thursday time! A long, long time ago in the dawning of a televised civilization when reality TV was a zygote in the mind of an executive, Kenya Moore descended upon the Miss USA stage coated in sequins and smiles.
It was an era of videotapes and grainy pictures, of televisions so enormously heavy two strong men couldn't carry them into a living room. It was the time of hammer pants and music actually being played on MTV. It was a society where AquaNet reigned supreme. And until Beyonce quoted her at the Super Bowl, it was a young, undercover crazy Kenya's crowning moment.
Behold: Before They Were Famous – Real Housewives of Atlanta edition! Below is footage from Kenya's epic crowning 1993 moment. There were no twirls. No one shrieked "Gone With The Wind Fabulous!" The sheen of desperation hadn't settled permanently into her skin and Kenya glistened with promise and opportunity.
In short, Krayonce hadn't been born. Miss WHO-S-A indeed! Get it girl! And credit where credit is due, Kenya looks great and that seriously was an amazing accomplishment. Beyonce never looked so good.
Kenya Moore has made much ado about how people confuse her for Beyonce and to prove their similarities, Krayonce recently released a song called "Gone With The Wind Fabulous."
Following her epic Super Bowl half-time performance, Inside Edition asked Beyonce how she felt about the big show. Her response: "Gone With The Wind Fabulous" and she added a twirl and a smirk. Video proof is below!
In the middle of donkey booty workout DVD wars, Phaedra Parks has other things to worry about! Like becoming a mother for the second time.
The Real Housewives of Atlanta star is currently in her second trimester (well at least that's what she says, but these RHOA ladies are a little sketchy about due dates!), and excited to be welcoming child number two into her family.
Sitting down with The Huffington Post, Phaedra reveals that son Ayden, now 2, wants a sister! “He is so excited,” Phaedra gushed. “He keeps saying, ‘I want a sister.’ He actually has a cousin. So he thought that was his sister because he gets to see her often.”
Oh gracious. As if the women of Real Housewives of Atlanta weren't enough drama on their own, Cynthia Bailey's husband Peter Thomas has to give the ladies a run for their money. Seriously, what is up with Peter lately? His already short fuse seems to be getting shorter and shorter these days.
Perhaps Peter should take up exercising and release some endorphins. I'm sure his wife's co-star Phaedra Parks will cut him a deal on her additional upcoming workout videos. Because more are coming. Yes. There will be more. I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news!