Throw her to the wolves and she’ll return as Woman of the Year! The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star Lisa Vanderpump was honored with title of Woman of the Year by the California State Assembly for her “dedication to the business community,” according to RumorFix. Her business dedication credentials? Owning three local restaurants suffices, I guess. Oh – and being the reigning queen of reality TV!
As part of Women’s History Month, Assemblyman Richard Bloom (D-Santa Monica) awarded Lisa with an “official Resolution” (looks like a run of the mill plaque, but what do I know?).
What’s an ex-reality star to do when she’s bored and needs to pay for more plastic surgery? Film another reality show, of course! Taylor Armstrong just announced she is currently filming again and ready to show off her new life and marriage to John Bluher. Because showing off their amazing relationship worked so well before…
Taylor and John (who has adopted Taylor’s daughter Kennedy) are filming a positive, family-oriented reality show about their life together in Vail, Colorado. Which includes a lot of skiing! And no mention of that nasty little home-wrecking situation that got their relationship started…
Look out Osbournes! Keep on keepin’ on, Kardashians! A new family is hoping to take over as the resident ridiculously rich crew which combines elements of both Ozzy’s crazy clan with a musical patriarch and the Kardashian model of being famous for absolutely nothing redeeming.
That’s right, kiddos! Rod Stewart and his bunch are getting their own reality show! The Maggie Mae and Forever Young singer has had quite the career which has spanned decades and resulted in countless hits. His adult children are almost as famous. Son Sean is no stranger to reality television having appeared on the short lived Sons of Hollywood followed by a stint of Celebrity Rehab. He’s even attracted to reality stars having a much hyped May-December romance with former Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star Adrienne Maloof. I’m still surprised those two didn’t last.
Until now, that is! Sure, you know the name Dean Sheremet. You no doubt remember when the young dancer wed an even younger music phenom. You probably also recall that when said phenom tried her hand at a Lifetime movie (hey, it worked for Tori Spelling for a bit!) and began an illicit affair with her married co-star, Dean remained mum. Even in their divorce, Dean had little to say about his wife of eight years and her behavior. Let’s be honest, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star Brandi was likely spewing enough hate for the both of them!
Accomplished actors have to be complete chameleons in order to to suspend reality for the audience and portray their characters. We don’t watch Rosemund Pike pretending to be Amy Dunne in Gone Girl….we are drawn into watching the craziness that is Amy unfold on our screens. To be honest, it was hard to come up with that analogy…one, while I am not opposed to a Ben Affleck full-frontal, I have yet to see Gone Girl (couldn’t put down the book though!), and two, all the Oscar nominated performances I watched this season were stories about real people, not characters. I didn’t want to sound trite or callous by comparing an actor to the true person he or she portrayed. So a Rosemund Pike/Gone Girl example it is! It’s a tough job, y’all.
Why am I even talking about actors and their craft? Well, because of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, of course! Actors must become storytellers, and I sometimes forget that Kim Richards, before she was the mess we see on Bravo, was quite the actress. I so wanted to be her on Escape to Witch Mountain, and I’m not ashamed to say that I own the entire Magnum, PI series on DVD. Kim is an actor and a storyteller, and she told one doozie of a story on this week’s RHOBH!
“I am going to touch on the double standards of some of our Housewives. No need to name names,” blogged Brandi. “If you watch, you’ve already seen it. Let’s compare reactions.” I suggest y’all grab a drink and a snack for this mess.
Brandi compared the reactions to her “tossing an inch of wine” vs. Lisa Rinna “heaving broken glass at people’s faces.” “HORRIFIC – Tossing an inch of wine while ‘play acting soap opera’ was worthy of pearl clutching and disgust usually reserved for when people find a mass grave,” said Brandi, exaggerating. “It’s called joking, horseplay, goofing, messing around. My intent was mischief. I was playing. It was misunderstood, but it’s not in the same league as violence.”
Lisa Rinna is rarely at a loss for words. Last night, we learned that if we’re ever in a room with her when it happens, DUCK. Or, if you’re Kyle Richards, run for cover as dramatically as possible. Cape flying in the wind and all.
“Have you ever put a bunch of ingredients in the blender, hit power on only to realize that you forgot to put the lid on, so it sprays everywhere?” asked Lisa. “This is exactly how my brain feels after this episode. There has been so much going on and so much building up that finally everything has just exploded into a million pieces.” And the pieces somehow landed in Kim‘s pants.
Last night on Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills things officially went to the dark side. Kim Richards lost her marbles in a cesspool of deflection, hysterics, and venomous rage. Don’t fear the reaper, or the coming of wrinkles, fear the KimKillah – who will bring the wrinkles and the emotional eating out in force!
Can I snark at the total break from reality I just witnessed? Eh – I’m going to, so don’t you worry your pretty little heads – or you may need Botox!
As soon as the ladies check into to their Amsterdam hotel they are met by the reassuring presence of Lisa Vanderpump and Eileen Davidson, walking into the unknown pit of Kingsleys. Lisa Rinna calls them “a lifeboat.” Sadly, they will prove to be as effective as the Titanic lifeboats.
Immediately Lipsa fills them in on the time Kim ruined her experience riding on the YoDa Aeronautic Private JetPlex and she was put off the two bites of artisinal crullers she was about to indulge in – only because she heard they were artfully glazed with a natural form of botox made from a very rare fish found only in the Nile River, deep in the Heart Of Darkness. “You know,” purred Yolanda Foster, “It’s the only way I ever consume sugar.”