That's right, last weekAdrienne Maloof announced she would not return to the show that made her tacky a nation-wide horror and for that we mourn. Or snark. And you know what that means: it's time for a Housewives Retrospective!
And without further ado, we say good-bye to out first lady of terrible facelifts, Adrienne!
After the ladies' Parisian vacation, Yolanda seemed to let her guard down around her co-stars. She reached out to a clearly struggling Kim Richards, only to have it come back and bite her in the toned and cleansed arse. But Yolanda is so busy juggling her lemons, her laundry, and her magnificent refrigerator that she doesn't have time to let the pettiness get to her. Take that, Splits!
Oh dear! We're on Real Housewives War, Vol 2 million. Last week comedian Chelsea Handler had a rather lackluster and brutal appearance on Watch What Happens Live. She openly told Andy Cohen that his brainchild, The Real Housewives franchise, was awful.
"I think that franchise is kind of a terrible thing," Chelsea remarked to Andy. "Women shouldn't be making money off of the fact that they have fake books, fake vaginas, fake whatever. I actually don't support that."
When Andy reminded her that she'd had some Housewives as guests, Chelsea quickly clarified she had "one," Bethenny Frankel. "Not even Brandi Glanville," Chelsea pointed out.
"I love the Housewives," Chelsea quipped sarcastically. Ironically for someone complaining about how fake the Housewives are, Chelsea dear has had a whole lotta botox. Dang girl – surprised you can move that mouth slapped into the middle of a too-tight shiny face.
Last night on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills the ladies left Paris. They returned to the BH where the antics picked up where they left off and we learned Faye Resnick hadn't fallen off the face of the earth in their stead but instead was just waiting frozen faced and clammy in the cryogenic chamber for their return.
Splits Richards opened her very own boutique cause she's bored all day and if Kathy Hilton did it why can't she? And oh yeah – Taylor Armstrong got a rude awakening! Sweet justice.
Things begin with Splits waltzing onto the Ledo Deck in a full-on circus tent refashioned into a skirt. Apparently said skirt, a cacophony of patterns and colors, is available for $900 at her store. Oh, Kyle… at least you never lose hope! There's that right? I was a wee bit disappointed she didn't hop onto the mast for a full-flying Titanic rendition.
Adrienne was reportedly using the relationship as leverage to return for season 4, but producers were disinterested in the idea. That must of been the nail in the coffin for this publicity stunt relationship!
"They've decided to distance themselves and become friends. Nothing bad happened," an Adriennesource tells Us Weekly. "They're still going to hang out as friends, they enjoy each other's company."
And why not – Brandi is hot! Gerard confessed to the hookup on Howard Stern, of course. When asked if he slept with her last year, Gerard famously replied "Who's Brandi Glanville" prompting many people to accuse her of lying.