I’ll be honest, I don’t know what to think about ol’ Kyle “Splits” Richards on this new season of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. She is clearly trying to come back from ganging up on Lisa Vanderpump in hopes of becoming a fan favorite, but sometimes she seems very disingenuous…and then sometimes, I find myself liking her. It’s at these times that I swill more pinot, rock in the corner and cry.
She’s certainly panning to the viewers, hoping to be more likable, and it’s especially evident in this week’s Bravo blog where she dishes on mother/daughter bonding, fun times with friends, and of course, that precocious Portia (seriously, Mauricio, take me shopping!). Kyle begins, “Watching Lisa [Rinna] getting ready for her birthday makes me smile. Her daughter giving her tips is very familiar to me. My girls hang out in my room while I get ready and give me style advice. When I don’t listen and they question why, I have to explain that while I love their advice, I’m not 14 years old, and I have to fine tune the advice to make it age appropriate. They still don’t get the ‘pointy witch shoes’ that are so popular amongst my friends and me. I love seeing Gigi’s career take off. I know how excited and proud Yolanda [Foster] is. Gigi is such a young girl to have such a busy life. She has a good head on her shoulders, due to her parents’ love and guidance. Bella is another beauty who I have no doubt will have her own exciting career. At this point, Yolanda and I are counting down the days until Bella and Alexia leave for college. A bittersweet time.”
Last night I had written the perfect recap in my mind, but then I fell asleep. When is read-a-brain scan technology coming out? Anyway, y’all will now have to be stuck with my sloppy seconds morning after recap of Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills. I hope it will suffice.
Lisa Rinna is celebrating a fabulous 50+ birthday. She peruses her closet, with the assistance of her daughters, to pick out the perfect out for her birthday dinner at PUMP. I love a BH closet – if we could spend the entire show in various closets – they could eat dinner in there, drink wine, argue – and we’d just be distracted by looking at all the glorious clothes.
Having glorious scenes at restaurants will also suffice. Lisa Vanderpump throws Lipsa’s birthday dinner at PUMP. LVP has Ken decked out in the family approved color of Vanderpinkie – they need a family crest of sparkly Pomeranian dyed bright pink. Lipsa is amazed by how gorgeous everything looks. Kyle Richards and Mauricio attend. Kyle waxes hairetic about how laughing with LVP is the part of their friendship she loves. Subtext: what she misses is partaking in free wine and food, while hob-nobbing with A-litsters.
Lisa Vanderpump hinted that the drama picks up with Eileen‘s arrival. “Things change rather rapidly I am afraid, from this gentle start.” Lisa loosely credited this season’s other newbie – Lisa Rinna – for her decision to return to Real Housewives of Beverly Hills after all her “friends” turned on her last season.
Last night on The Brandi Glanville Show – formerly the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills – Brandi bragged about making out with a 23-year-old meathead mover, stalked her on-again and off-again boyfriend J.R., and apologized to Adrienne Maloof for her offensive mouth letting Lisa Vanderpump force her to say mean things. Seriously Bravo? Where, oh where, is Eileen Davidson?? I need way more Beverly Hills and way less Beverly Hillbillies.
Brandi took to her blog to explain the situation with J.R, gush over the only two people on the show who still tolerate her, Yolanda Foster and Kim Richards, seethe with jealousy over Kyle Richards and Lisa Vanderpump‘s riches, and pat herself on the back for apologizing to Adrienne after two years. Did Apollo Nida write a how-to book about Real Housewives apologies?
Brandi Glanville apologized to Adrienne Maloof for surrogate-gate, because she doesn’t want it to be “awkward” when they run into each other. Uh-huh. We all know Brandi’s ulterior motive is that she needs to get to Adrienne before Lisa Vanderpump gets to her! This apology, where Brandi subtly attempted to drop hints to Adrienne that she was working on Lisa’s behalf, was another attempt of Brandi’s to join the chess team. Listen honey – stick to checkers.
Somewhere in the murky wilds between last season of RHOBH and this one, Brandi and Kim Richards became friends. Necessity is the mother of invention so the two people no one else wants to be friends with get stuck with each other. At least there were wigs!
Lipsa promises that she’ll deal with the crazy by trying to remain true to what’s important – herself! “I am going to be very authentic, be myself and stay grounded. Don’t react to anything, but be the better person and be supportive and empower the women,” she describes.
“Lisa and I had always been close,” shared Kyle. “In the past couple of years, we have had our moments and a lot of obstacles to work through. However, life is too short, and I wanted to talk it out and be able to start from scratch. I missed the days of us just laughing and having fun. I wanted to get to a strong enough place where we wouldn’t go backwards again or let outside negativity influence our friendship. I think that in order to do that you have to have these conversations. Brushing it under the carpet and just “moving on” is always a temporary solution.”
Brandi admits to the slap, but swears Bravo made it look a lot worse than it was! “I swear they added a sound effect to it! I might have been there and I don’t think it was like that!” Brandi won’t reveal what prompted her to lash out (RHOA’s success?!) – nor will she spill whether or not Lisa retaliated!