I know Lisa Vanderpump is busy running Pump, running interference on the SUR staff, arranging flowers at Villa Blanca, and being all around the most fabulous person on the planet to get away with magenta and jade colored satin (only she can!), but I’d like to suggest she teach a class on how to be a Bravo housewife that people want to watch.
The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star has proven time and time again that she’s classy but not stuffy, snarky without being gross, professional but not rigid, and condescending without being…well, she’s just good at being condescending, and I love it! Many of her counterparts on the other franchises could certainly benefit from her wisdom! This season, she’s distanced herself from drama, but not enough that she can’t passive aggressively comment on it. We’re seeing more of her family time, and she’s just viewing the insanity from a distance. Clearly, she’s gotten her fill of crazy on this season’s Vanderpump Rules! Her take on this week’s episode is no different.
Eileen wins the episode:Kyle Richards and Brandi Glanville scream at each other and she quips, “I do not know how to make that better. What do you do? Get a hose and hose them down?”
Eileen wins the internet: “I have to first address one thing: the words ‘reckless’ and ‘you should be disappointed in yourself’ should never, EVER pass the lips of Brandi Glanville. Unless she’s referring to herself. THAT IS ALL.”
Brandi Glanville took to her blog to apologize for her incessant whines (“You scratched me!”), low blows (“You’re not wanted … Ask your husband!”), and violent threats (“I will knock your teeth out!”) on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills this week. HAHA. Just kidding. There wasn’t a single mention of anything she said or did that was out of line. Brandi focused solely on how terrible Kyle Richards was to her guests and her sister.
Brandi called out Kyle for asking Kim Richards why she was in the hospital. This was likely a staged conversation to fill in viewers, but Brandi needs it for her narrative. “Kyle asks her sister why she was in the hospital. There. I will leave it at that. She doesn’t even know WHY her sister was in the hospital more than a week later. It was a hernia, fractured rib, and disc issues – very serious, very painful injuries and medical issues for a single woman over 40.”
Before I continue with this recap I have two points to make:
1) Can we stop with the “My gays”? No one has “gays!” Just like no one has “heteros!” I loathe the so-called possession and ownership of “gays.” Gay people are just people, who are not ubiquitously defined by their sexuality no matter what Real Housewives want us to think. Plus, whatever “gays” Kyle has cobbled together, they clearly do not love her that much to let her dress that bad! Maybe it’s passive-aggressive payback for her leading them around LA referring to them as My Gay 1, My Gay Blonde, My Gay Ladysitter…
2) Why the hell would anyone fight for possession of “My Kim”? They do realize Kims come with Kingsley. And also, at the end of the day (HA!), it’s still Kim – who is praying to a trashcan and speaking gobbledy-goop, insisting it’s a language you just haven’t learned yet! It’s just Kim taking cancer medication as a fun-zany experiment while she accidentally smokes a dildo because she confused it with the e-cigarette she bought from that kiosk in the mall, on Tuesday, errrrr… I mean Wednesday, errrr… I mean during the 9, uhhhh 7, uuummmm 5 days she was in Promises Malibu the hospital working on her tan!
Andy started off reading a few Tweets that the Beverly Hills cast wrote tonight during the episode, including Brandi Glanville’s hostile huffing off because of the editing of the show. She wrote, “I’m getting off Twitter for tonight! You only see what they show that’s it ! Bye Felicia.”
Just when you think things can’t get any worse between Brandi and Kyle Richards, Brandi threatens to knock Kyle’s teeth out, continues to meddle in Kyle and Kim’s relationship and takes a low blow at Kyle’s marriage to Mauricio Umansky.
Tonight Lisa Vanderpump and Ken Todd will also face the tough decision whether to divulge to son Max the names of his birth parents.
CLICK CONTINUE READING TO SEE A CLIP OF TONIGHT’S EPISODE
Yolanda Foster has traveled the world in search of treatments and/or a cure for Lyme disease. Late December, the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star suffered a “very serious” relapse, and she recently shared that she has lost the ability to read, write, watch television, or process any other kinds of stimulation. Somehow she’s able to tweet, text, and post pics on Instagram. #SideEye
Yolanda recently traveled to Singapore for a pricey treatment which is not FDA approved. While there, she shared pictures of herself alternating between lying in a hospital bed and hanging out with David Foster on the set of Asia’s Got Talent. Now home, Yolanda has shared several messages about her current condition – “I don’t remember what it is like to be normal” – and thanked fellow famewhore Kris Jenner for sending her flowers. Follow her journey below.