It's been an emotional few days for Brandi Glanville in regard to her missing dog Chica. She's been understandably upset for what has to be months (I'm going by what we're watching each Monday on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and what we see in real time as Brandi's life literally plays out on Twitter).
I certainly don't blame Brandi for being emotional about her pooch. After all, pets are totally part of the family as the most gentle and loyal companions. However, just this week Brandi had a glimmer of hope as far as Chica is concerned.
Last night Carlton Gebbia really let the witch out of the bag – flying broomsticks, evil spells, creepy crystal floral talismans and all!
Kyle Richards andLisa Vanderpump are friends-ish again. Well at least for the sake of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills purposes. Since Ken and Mauricio truly are friends, Kyle and Lisa decide to get together with Kevin Lee (!!) to throw a joint birthday party. Oh Kevin Lee… let's discuss what's going on atop your head: part Brillo pad, part tasered porcupine: too much hair gel, mmmkay.
As Lisa and Kyle divvy up the guest list Kyle gets all porcupiney – she just wants to know why there's gotta be teams allocating who invites whom.
UGH – let's just take a moment to discuss Kyle. Listen, Kyle was annoying me the whole episode: she kept making her little snarky comments, making everything into a bigger deal than it was, and sneaking in shade while acting like everything was fine – basically she was Splits-ing. But then CARLTON! Snarlton… SNARLTON with her Wicked Witch of The Valley complete with California Raisin face had to go all wicca-wacka and made me feel bad for Kyle. There's more to Kyle's witchiness than her fondness for flowing robes, but compared to Snarlton, Kyle is a sweet innocent.
"I dedicate this book to all the men I've loved before and to all the single people looking for love in this world: keep hope alive, learn from my mistakes, and by all means #KeepItSexy," Brandi begins after telling us P.S. "Social media is ruining romance". Yes, Brandi and so are drunken tabloid photos.
With an introduction titled "How To Get Screwed" (the first line of which is "F–k me."), you know you're in for a wild ride! Brandi gives a ton of anecdotes and continues with her theme of interweaving hashtags throughout the text as if twitter truly is writing this book.
A snippet of the introduction and the first chapter are below!
Carlton Gebbia continues to intrigue me. I mean, she's the wicked witch of double standards. She's disgusted by her Real Housewives of Beverly Hills cast mates talking about sex and then lap dances on her MIL, does stripper pole lessons, and throws a Hustler party.
She doesn't want Kyle Richards asking about her religion, yet she talks about it all the time and puts spells on people. And she doesn't like Joyce Giraud for being fake and attention-seeking yet Carlton is allll about Brandi Glanville!
In her most recent Bravo blogCarlton reflects on the episode and explains why Kyle is fake, Joyce is annoying, and she is the greatest living human in the world.
What can I say about Brandi Glanville that hasn't already been said? She over shares? Yup. She has no filter? Duh. She has no problem throwing people under the bus? Check. Really nothing that comes out of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills' star's mouth shocks me anymore.
If you watch RHOBH, you know Brandi makes no secret about her financial situation. Even with her best-sellers, her bank account isn't even in the same stratosphere as her co-stars. I'm a flip-flopping Brandi fan, but I do like how candid she is about her struggles with money. She may not have the most, but she works hard for what she has…unlike when she was married to Eddie Cibrian.
The Sister Wives are totally winning. They're able to run their fingers through Kody's luscious locks every four days – AND a whopping 2.415 million tuned in this week. That's nearly a millionmore viewers than last week! Kris Jenner becomes wife number five in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1…
Whenever there's a Real Housewives of Beverly Hills situation, there's a zillion versions of the same story. For people who live most of their lives ON CAMERA one might hope for more accurate records of what happened!
"Regarding the Yolanda painting party, it was a bit of a fiasco. Yes, she was right when she said I didn't tell her. I told the people that sent invitations for Yolanda. A car wasn't sent for me," Lisa writes in her Bravo blog. "They were well aware that I had a meeting at city hall in order to obtain permits for my new venture."
"That is my reality, having to work all hours that God sends right now with little time, except at weekends to indulge in afternoon parties. I am trying to arrange my life so I soon will have the time to be a little more indulgent."
Brandi begins, "I broke my hand on a Thursday. I had my friend who is a MMA fighter and boxer wrap it for me and was happy to go to Carlton's party on Sunday. I did not go to the doctor for a few reasons. First, I barely had any time to — and second I didn't have medical insurance at the time. I had been trying for the last year to get medical coverage, but had been turned down because of a pre-existing condition. I have two little boys to take care of and I didn't want to waste my money on myself and have yet another reason to be turned down for insurance," adding, "I now have medical insurance, and, yes, my hand did heal a little deformed. My best friend drove up from San Diego, thank goodness, because with my right hand broken I couldn't really do my hair or makeup, and so I got a helping hand from my girls."