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heather and shannon make peace

Oh the ladies of Real Housewives of Orange County – what are we going to do with them? I mean, Vicki Gunvalson is choking on national TV and Heather Dubrow is doing photo shoots for her 'holiday card' in front of a dumpster. These gals… 

So yes, Shannon Beador and Heather think their holiday cards are on par with the White House's in terms of preeminent importance. Shannon tells us that people look forward to her card every year and Heather gives a gushing speech about what it represents to her family (Time immemorial? Neil deGrasse Tyson joke!). They both hire full glam crews and professional photography teams to make these visions come to life. I think I saw Anna Wintour scuttling around behind the ladder in Heather's shoot. 

It's nice to know that I have some things in common with these two wealthy beacons of the upper echelons - because even though I take my holiday photo with an iPhone, my kids misbehave just as much as Heather and Shannon's do! Anyway, Heather is taking her card in what looks like the parking lot of a storage facility. Maybe since they're between mega mansions she's going for homeless chic? 

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Tamra Barney vs. Gretchen Rossi

Last week viewers witnessed Heather Dubrow's version of a hoedown as she had a lot warming party for her new massive abode. During the course of the party America's oldest sorority girl Tamra Barney flew off the mechanical bull after Heather instructed the operator to turn it up. 

After the Real Housewives of Orange County star injured her arm in the process, Heather denied having anything to do with the mechanical bull on steroids! In a statement to All Things Real Housewives Tamra confesses that she is disappointed in Heather's behavior, but the two are still friends. 

I had no idea Heather told the bull operator to ‘turn it up’ until I saw the footage," Tamra admitted. "I’m still absorbing this info and quite frankly I have mixed emotions.

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Married to Medicine Dr. Heavenly

This week's reality TV viewer numbers report is nothing but bad news. As I predicted, Married to Medicine lost a ton of viewers without Real Housewives of Atlanta's lead-in. Only 921,000 watched Dr. Heavenly's shady dinner party this week. That's down 642,000 since last week and almost 1.5 million since the season two premiere.

On Monday, 16 & Pregnant continued its downward spiral, with only 795,000 watching Aleah and Peyton's story. Also, showdown at the hoedown on Real Housewives of Orange County attracted 1.638 million viewers, and just over three million tuned in for Scrappy's 30th birthday on Love & Hip Hop Atlanta

On Tuesday, a memorial for Sonja's dog on Real Housewives of New York garnered 1.167 million viewers. Ouch. In all fairness I'm sure the Memorial Day holiday played a part in this week's abysmal report. What remains to be seen is which of these shows bounce back despite warmer weather, fresh new summer shows, and so on.

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Shannon Beador Sells OC Mansion

Shannon Beador truly isn't your typical Bravolebrity it seems. Not only does the Real Housewives of Orange County feng shui her mouth, she also isn't following the normal reality star protocol which usually involves moving into a much bigger home after a small taste of fame regardless of whether they can afford it.

In fact, as we reported earlier in the week, Shannon and family are actually downsizing (gasp! Is that even a thing if you're an OC housewife??), and selling their current digs for the low, low price of $13,498,000. That seems to be the going rate for multiple kitchens, secret rooms, seven bedrooms, more than a dozen bathrooms, and a regulation size basketball court, right? Of course, because no housewife in the history of the franchise has voluntarily left a ginormous mansion for more modest living, rumors of marital discord began running rampant.

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Heather & Terry Dubrow Host A Hoedown

Last night Heather Dubrow was in full manners crusader role as she hosted a hoedown ground breaking party for her new mansion in the sky. In case you didn't know, Heather is above everyone else – literally. 

Before all that, the ladies of Real Housewives of Orange County continued to bicker and give their varying accounts of "chairgate". When will Bravo stop trying to make "…gate" happen? They should re-title the franchise Real Housewives Gate. Anyway, back to chairgate. UGH. 

Heather complains to Terry that Shannon Beador turned into the Incredible Hulk (it must be all the supplements!), wrenched the chair out from under her and bellowed SHANNON SMASH SOCIALITE! It was frankly alarming to Miss Dubrow – positively frightening. She's really considering therapy for the horrifying injustice she endured. True confession: I tuned out. I think Terry did too. Heather's complaints went on for a while. 

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Shannon Beador and Vicki Gunvalson 2014 Bravo Upfronts

Vicki Gunvalson leave Real Housewives of Orange County? Only if a spinoff comes her way! 

For eight (or is it nine?) years, Vicki has been 'on the fence' about whether or not she'll stick around for another season but the original Housewife and Bravo institution won't go anywhere until they drag her out kicking and screaming. Talking to E! News from the Bravo Upfront presentation, about her future with the show, what's to come this season - Vicki also shares that her friendship with Shannon Beador lasts the season and is legit! Has Shannon replaced Tamra Judge? …The horror!

Oh yeah, and Shannon had some things to say about being a first-time Housewife. 

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Shannon Beador Sells OC Mansion

Well lookee here another Housewife is moving up and out! 

Shannon Beador's non-toxic palace by-ish the sea just hit the market for a paltry $13,498,000 million. 

The Real Housewives of Orange County star's 13,306 square feet mansion contains 7 bedrooms, 8 full and 5 half bathrooms, multiple kitchens, a craft room, plus a secret tea room. Oh – and a regulation-sized basketball court! All that plus sustainable living can be yours – if you're rich enough to buy and sell Vicki Gunvalson 10 times over. Heather… are you out there?

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gretchen slade instagram

My, oh my! I dare you not to look at the above-picture and not get a little nauseous. Reality stars certainly love garnering attention while in various stages of undress, don't they? Geez. I'm always surprised at how I'm equal parts shocked that Gretchen Rossi and Slade Smiley have stayed together this long and convinced that they are will be together for eternity because, really, how perfect are they for one another? It's quite a conundrum.

Since quitting being asked to leave Real Housewives of Orange County, Gretchen does what every good cast off does…she builds her "brand" by putting her name on anything that will take it while shopping around a wedding spin-off series and promoting said "brand" at a slew of D-list parties where formal attire is akin to some lyrca triangles and floss. It's hard life, people. A hard life.

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