My, oh my! I dare you not to look at the above-picture and not get a little nauseous. Reality stars certainly love garnering attention while in various stages of undress, don't they? Geez. I'm always surprised at how I'm equal parts shocked that Gretchen Rossi and Slade Smiley have stayed together this long and convinced that they are will be together for eternity because, really, how perfect are they for one another? It's quite a conundrum.
Since quitting being asked to leave Real Housewives of Orange County, Gretchen does what every good cast off does…she builds her "brand" by putting her name on anything that will take it while shopping around a wedding spin-off series and promoting said "brand" at a slew of D-list parties where formal attire is akin to some lyrca triangles and floss. It's hard life, people. A hard life.
Despite promoting Marriage Bootcamp, it seems Gretchen and sycophant fiancé Slade Smiley can't let go of some of their RHOC dramas – and lucky for them neither can their former co-star Tamra Judge! Good ol' Tam-Tam… never one to take the highroad.
Now that Tamra is having custody issues of her own with ex-husband Simon Barney, a fan lashed out on twitter calling Tamra's situation karma after how she treated Slade. Tamra didn't like that and reacted writing, “Oh plz. That f**ker is a deadbeat with a sick son. Keep supporting him, it makes you look Real good!” Tamra has since deleted the tweet, but Slade wasn't going to let that PR opportunity go to waste.
SinceTamra Judgeand Vicki are all about a 'Housewives Hazing' the two are speaking out about Lizzie (with Vicki apologizing for her behavior) and they're also speaking out about "chairgate" and Tamra's comments about Vicki's on-again/off-again boyfriend Brooks Ayers.
"Watching this week's episode made me very upset on how I treated Lizzie when we first met," Vicki writes on her Bravo blog entitled 'I'm Not Proud of How I Treated Lizzie.'
"All I can say is that is not the person who I want to be, nor am I proud of how I talked to her when we were in the limo," Vicki continues. "There was a lot more to that limo ride which you didn't get to see, but either way, it was wrong of me and I have since apologized."
All of the Real Housewives of Orange County got to meet Lizzie Rovsek on Monday night's episode, and I don't think anyone was surprised at how she was welcomed into the group by Vicki Gunvalson, were they? There's nothing more attractive than a super catty, middle-aged loudmouth acting like the mean head cheerleader in an 80's romcom, is there? Of course, Vicki was just marking her territory as far as Tamra Judge is concerned, and something tells me (duh, the previews!) that Lizzie won't be too sad to cut ties with her new neighbor.
Admitting she doesn't have much to say in her Bravo blog, Lizzie begins, "I started writing this blog several different ways until I realized that I don't really have much to say or know what to say regarding this episode. Honestly, I didn't even know what to think after I watched it. I really didn't think Vicki would insult almost everything about me as she did. There are so many things to say and nothing to say at the same time," adding, "I don't pick people apart for the way they look or put down things that people have worked for in their life. Vicki says that it takes 'no skill' to be in a beauty pageant…Well, I tell you one thing it gives young women and that is confidence. And thank goodness I have some so I could handle the barrage of insults that came my way tonight."
Sure, she wastes gems by having them put in her teeth, she comes off as the world's biggest nag, and I am not NOT worried about the state of her marriage, but by God, I love Shannon Beador, and last night's Real Housewives of Orange County only affirmed my affections. Not only did she stay true to herself (I like that even though she enjoys spending time with Vicki Gunvalson, she wasn't shy about calling out her mean girl behavior to new girl Lizzie Rovsek), but she managed to make Heather Dubrow look like the ultimate twit (although given how the season has been going thus far, I'm not sure that's quite a feat).
In her Bravo blog highlighting last night's episode, Shannon begins, "I consider Dr. Moon a part of the family so I was really excited when Vicki agreed to see him with me. I love Vicki's spirit — she is open to anything, especially holistic and alternative therapies. Dr. Moon has a theory that when a person is "jammed," energy cannot properly flow through the body for optimum health. He will go through a process to 'de-jam' a patient and one of those areas to 'de-jam' is the tailbone. I know Vicki was joking around, but I want to be clear he does not put his finger in your rear end."
Last night the ladies of Real Housewives of Orange County all swore they weren't menopausal. In an effort to prove this they all reverted to acting like 10th graders who had ditched their chaperone on the high school field trip! Woo Hoo! Let's be bitches.
Vicki Gunvalson and Shannon Beador have connected over their mutual crazy and empty love tanks. Shannon knows just how to temporarily fill hers and she's letting Vicki in on her little secret: Dr. Moon! They pay a visit to his office where Vicki gets acupuncture and demands to check her email because "work! work! work!" and relax-schmelax! She asks Dr. Moon when he's gonna fill up her love tank and he stuck his finger up her butt. I kid you not! Shannon said Dr. Moon "de-jammed it". I think I'd rather have an empty love tank…
Shannon and new bestie Vicki go get their nails done with Tamra Barney. "You need good nails," Vicki instructs. But apparently you don't need good plastic surgery or frizz free hair. Or good boyfriends. Tamra is still harping about this ugly sweater Christmas party and it was like so horrible having to wear a funky polyester themed sweater. My, my has she become snobby! Who does Tamra think she is – Heather Dubrow? Speaking of which, Tamra and Vicki complain about Heather's pretensions and arrogance. Shannon – so happy to have friends and so happy to feel loved and included (finally someone likes her besides vodka!) – decides she too has a problem with how condescending Heather is. I mean there was that one time Heather snickered about Shannon putting diamonds in her teeth.