If we learned anything last week it's that brunettes may have more fun, but not if their name is Heather Dubrow!
The Real Housewives of Orange County star helped plan a snoozer of a bachelorette party for co-star Tamra Barney and although it was no kinda girls weekend I'd like to go on, perhaps it was appropriate for a third-time bride in her mid-forties! Midlife Crisis Matrimony, y'all!
Unfortunately Tamra didn't think it was fun at all, so she ditched Heather and Gretchen Rossi at the world's most boring restaurant and took off with Vicki "Penis Pop Whoop It Up" Gunvalson. And Heather was NOT impressed – and she also insists that Tamra said she wanted a low-key weekend.
Years after vacating the show that made her gold digging ways a household name, she has returned to Real Housewives of Orange County to stir up trouble and give Vicki Gunvalson a bad name. As if Vicki needed any help in that department!
Lauri claims to be defending her husband's honor over untrue information Vicki shared years ago that no one – unfortunately! – has heard. WHY?! Who is hiding this precious gossip from us? And in response Lauri accused Vicki of hauling a toothless Greek God back to the OC and having a three-way on an insurance trip. And I don't mean three-way phone call…
Last night on Real Housewives of Orange County we were treated to a delightfully classy over-the-hill bachelorette party for one in particular mid-life crisis bride's third wedding.
If that weren't enough Lauri Peterson demonstrated her desperation for relevance by sharing so-called salacious details about Vicki Gunvalson's sex life. I barely made it through last night's episode without throwing up. Thanks for that Bravo.
Things begin with newbie Lydia McLaughlin, in all her wide-eyed optimism, showing up at Tamra Barney's house for some girl talk. Walking into the evil sorceress' cave, Lydia holds her magic fairy dust shield close to her heart and remembers to think positive.
Lydia is just like so impressed and keeps talking about how "classy" and "fancy" Tamra's hostessing is. First of all, the word "classy" and Tamra do not belong in the same sentence.
Now a report emerges that Heather Dubrow is not the sole RHOC bridesmaid and despite Vicki skipping the officially sanctioned Bravo-filmed bachelor/bachelorette party in Vegas, she is indeed in the midlife crisis wedding party! Bravo wouldn't have it any other way.
The Real Housewives of Orange County star has played coy about whether or not she proposed to Slave for a storyline but she recently admitted to Parade Magazine that the "intimate" moment was captured by Bravo cameras. Likely in an attempt to entice viewers and convince her boss Andy Cohen that these two can carry a wedding spinoff…
"I was so nervous to propose! You’ll see it this season on the show," Gretchen reveals. "It was filmed and it was a pretty spectacular engagement. I can’t tell you details, but I can tell you the fans will not be disappointed. There are a lot of different steps that happened in the proposal and Slade cried a lot, I can tell you that!" Cannot. Wait. To recap this #IntenseSarcasm
With the exception of Heather Dubrow, who is a bridesmaidat Bravo's insistence, Tamra is playing hardball about who will and will not be receiving a so-called coveted invitation. And she's even leaving Vicki Gunvalson dangling!
Next week Lauri returns with even more salacious gossip where Vicki is concerned! She's either bored and wants a reality TV career again, broke and wants a reality TV career again, or both! Whatever the case Vicki is not excited to welcome her back in to the fold!
"Lauri going ring shopping with Tamra was a joke to me," Vicki writes in her blog. "Last time I saw Lauri, she told me how much she couldn't stand Tamra and now she is acting like she is her BFF and confidant. I have no clue why she said what she did about having Tamra taking Donn's wedding ring. I thought that was very classless and very rude."
Things begin with Heather Dubrow strolling into Tamra Barney's hovel, running her finger over a dusty faux finished surface and chirping "This is… nice!" Afterwards she took several showers in Lysol and asked her assistant to burn all the Chanel that sat on the Pier One Imports clearance chairs. 'It was horrible,' she bemoaned to her therapist later that week… 'The napkins… they were POLYESTER!'
Anyway, Heather is there to discuss the Terry issue. See Terry … well, he just sucks but Heather guesses she'll forgive him. Something about seeing Tamra's little house in a subdivision, filled with sub-par finishings, and a pantry that only one person can fit in at a time made Heather see the light. Yes, yes… Terry may be annoying and corny, but good lord she's not on her third marriage to a third wealthy imposter. Looking on the bright side!