Last night on Real Housewives of Orange County we were treated to a delightfully classy over-the-hill bachelorette party for one in particular mid-life crisis bride's third wedding.
If that weren't enough Lauri Peterson demonstrated her desperation for relevance by sharing so-called salacious details about Vicki Gunvalson's sex life. I barely made it through last night's episode without throwing up. Thanks for that Bravo.
Things begin with newbie Lydia McLaughlin, in all her wide-eyed optimism, showing up at Tamra Barney's house for some girl talk. Walking into the evil sorceress' cave, Lydia holds her magic fairy dust shield close to her heart and remembers to think positive.
Lydia is just like so impressed and keeps talking about how "classy" and "fancy" Tamra's hostessing is. First of all, the word "classy" and Tamra do not belong in the same sentence.
Now a report emerges that Heather Dubrow is not the sole RHOC bridesmaid and despite Vicki skipping the officially sanctioned Bravo-filmed bachelor/bachelorette party in Vegas, she is indeed in the midlife crisis wedding party! Bravo wouldn't have it any other way.
The Real Housewives of Orange County star has played coy about whether or not she proposed to Slave for a storyline but she recently admitted to Parade Magazine that the "intimate" moment was captured by Bravo cameras. Likely in an attempt to entice viewers and convince her boss Andy Cohen that these two can carry a wedding spinoff…
"I was so nervous to propose! You’ll see it this season on the show," Gretchen reveals. "It was filmed and it was a pretty spectacular engagement. I can’t tell you details, but I can tell you the fans will not be disappointed. There are a lot of different steps that happened in the proposal and Slade cried a lot, I can tell you that!" Cannot. Wait. To recap this #IntenseSarcasm
With the exception of Heather Dubrow, who is a bridesmaidat Bravo's insistence, Tamra is playing hardball about who will and will not be receiving a so-called coveted invitation. And she's even leaving Vicki Gunvalson dangling!
Next week Lauri returns with even more salacious gossip where Vicki is concerned! She's either bored and wants a reality TV career again, broke and wants a reality TV career again, or both! Whatever the case Vicki is not excited to welcome her back in to the fold!
"Lauri going ring shopping with Tamra was a joke to me," Vicki writes in her blog. "Last time I saw Lauri, she told me how much she couldn't stand Tamra and now she is acting like she is her BFF and confidant. I have no clue why she said what she did about having Tamra taking Donn's wedding ring. I thought that was very classless and very rude."
Things begin with Heather Dubrow strolling into Tamra Barney's hovel, running her finger over a dusty faux finished surface and chirping "This is… nice!" Afterwards she took several showers in Lysol and asked her assistant to burn all the Chanel that sat on the Pier One Imports clearance chairs. 'It was horrible,' she bemoaned to her therapist later that week… 'The napkins… they were POLYESTER!'
Anyway, Heather is there to discuss the Terry issue. See Terry … well, he just sucks but Heather guesses she'll forgive him. Something about seeing Tamra's little house in a subdivision, filled with sub-par finishings, and a pantry that only one person can fit in at a time made Heather see the light. Yes, yes… Terry may be annoying and corny, but good lord she's not on her third marriage to a third wealthy imposter. Looking on the bright side!
Lease: "A contract granting use or occupation of property during a specified period in exchange for a specified rent." Thank you Dictionary.com!
See the Real Housewives of Orange County star seems to be having trouble with that one! If you recall on last week's episode she clearly stated that fiancée (former leasee) Slade Smiley "leased" her a Rolls Royce for her birthday. And the lucky girl – the payments are only a couple hundred more per month.