Well, we alllll knew it was coming! Tamra Barney and Gretchen Rossi's short-lived friendship is now officially kaput! I wonder if Gretchen returned the friendship bracelet?
Tamra says the bottom really fell out at the recently filmed Real Housewives of Orange County reunion. The nail in the coffin? Weddings wars, of course! And by wedding wars, I mean spinoff competitions.
"We were friends until we shot the reunion show," Tamraconfessed to TVGuide. "It stirred up a lot. They talked about the past and Andy [Cohen] went deep, so it brought back a bunch of nonsense that didn't need to be brought up."
Well, seasons change, and the women are once again on the outs thanks to wedding gown shopping and Reba McEntire. "Here's your one chance Fancy, don't let me down." But let each other down both fancy pants did, and now they are back to snarking about each other on social media. That didn't take long. Full circle, some might say…
While Vicki and Brooks' relationship appears to be as on-and-off as a light switch, Lauri is Waring wary that the couple's recent break-up may not be what it seems. She is speculating that the pair is using the story of a turbulent love affair to appease family and friends when they are actually quite happy together behind closed doors.
Say what? A housewife manipulating her relationship status to stay in the spotlight? Unheard of!
If ever there was a reason to say no to a proposal, it was an autotune-botched warbling of a wannabe Taylor Swift. And that proposal came courtesy of Gretchen Rossi. But of course Slade Smiley, who has been practicing the trickling of a single tear in the mirror for weeks, did not say no. Oh no … HE said yes! And it was all over-acted to puke-fection.
So yeah, let's start there shall we with the Real Housewives of Orange County proposal that just went on and on and on and on. Phase One: Slade at work at his radio station pretending he has a job like doing things on the radio. I was always convinced he just put up some microphones in Gretchen's overly cluttered garage, but apparently Radio Slade is a for realz thing.
Slade's partner announces a new song. A voice, a voice like mystic magic floating over clouds of heaven comes soaring over the airways. 'That sound…' gasps Slade staring off into the distance. I think someone has been watching The Sound Of Music… That voice, that he does not recognize because even WITH heavily deployed autotune it still sounds flat, plastic, and phony as hell (not unlike its owner), is Gretchen. And that song is asking him to marry him.
Oh thank goodness Gretchen Rossi is making money off the uber romantical and so super special and intimate proposal song she (and a team of Bravo hired producers) wrote for Slade Smiley.
That's soooooooooo special, y'all. Like the most beyond special-ist thing ever! So yeah, if you want to own your own little piece of television's most loving moment like ever you can buy it on iTunes.
The audio for this stunning love ballad is below. And you can be assured that autotune has been heavily deployed, even though like Gretchen doesn't need it because Real Housewives of Orange County producers intentionally made her sound worse on the show, just like because they're mean and like hate her and stuff! Not at all because she can't actually sing…