Things begin with Heather Dubrow strolling into Tamra Barney's hovel, running her finger over a dusty faux finished surface and chirping "This is… nice!" Afterwards she took several showers in Lysol and asked her assistant to burn all the Chanel that sat on the Pier One Imports clearance chairs. 'It was horrible,' she bemoaned to her therapist later that week… 'The napkins… they were POLYESTER!'
Anyway, Heather is there to discuss the Terry issue. See Terry … well, he just sucks but Heather guesses she'll forgive him. Something about seeing Tamra's little house in a subdivision, filled with sub-par finishings, and a pantry that only one person can fit in at a time made Heather see the light. Yes, yes… Terry may be annoying and corny, but good lord she's not on her third marriage to a third wealthy imposter. Looking on the bright side!
Lease: "A contract granting use or occupation of property during a specified period in exchange for a specified rent." Thank you Dictionary.com!
See the Real Housewives of Orange County star seems to be having trouble with that one! If you recall on last week's episode she clearly stated that fiancée (former leasee) Slade Smiley "leased" her a Rolls Royce for her birthday. And the lucky girl – the payments are only a couple hundred more per month.
You want to know who isn't talking to one another on Real Housewives of Orange County? Unfortunately, I can't give you a cut and dry answer to that question, but I can tell you who IS talking to the media at any given moment. Care to take a guess? If you guessed Gretchen Rossi, you'd be wrong close.
Tamra Barney is all about giving out soundbites these days. Not only is she dishing on her friendships (or lack thereof) with Vicki Gunvalson, Gretchen, and Alexis Bellino, Tammy is also reportedly getting a Bravo spin-off with soon-to-be husband Eddie Judge. I know y'all can't wait to set your DVRs!
She and her Slavéence were super late, missing most of Heather's scenes as it were, and then spent the entire remainder of the evening hopping up and down to attend to their phones. Even worse at the celebratory dinner Gretchen made it all about her birthday "lease" from Slave.
Taking to her Bravo Blog, Heather laments Gretchen's behavior and explains why she didn't confront her on the spot. "Show night! I was really looking forward to having some of my special friends come and support me on this night!" Heather begins.
Speaking to E! about her recent pre-marriage festivities, Tamra shares, "We had a great time at the bachelorette party, it was nice to kick back with a Cuca Fresca cocktail after working so hard between planning a wedding and being at [my gym] C.U.T. Fitness everyday." Wow, I'm impressed she was able to effortlessly plug the party's sponsor, her new business, and her upcoming televised wedding in one seamless sentence. Genius!
Real Housewives of Orange County was full all about actors last night. Except the only person who was legitimately doing any acting was Heather Dubrow. And no – she wasn't acting like a biatch this episode. Oh wait… yes she was but not as part of her real life, but as part of a role she was hired to play. But not for Bravo. AAAAHHH! I'm so confused…
Things begin with a blast from the past. Gold digging expert Lauri Peterson is resurrected to give Tamra Barney a little advice on making marriage number three last. Third times a charm, eh! They meet up at a jewelry store and Lauri looks great. All three of her children are doing well and good for her – hopefully life is going smoothly.
Since Lauri and Tamra were never really friends they resort to talking about someone they have in common: Vicki Gunvalson. Tamra fills Lauri in on how post-divorce Vicki is like soooo delusional and dating a loser. Lauri snickers and chooses this time to remind Tamra about how Vicki broke up her marriage to Simon. That's a great thing to be discussing while you're choosing a wedding ring for your third betrothed. #ManEaters
It's so hard adjusting to life as a Housewife! I mean all the media appearances and fancy parties and fabulous vacations paid for by Bravo…. oh and of course the totally insane women you're forced to work with!
Lydia McLaughlin is struggling with the curse of the newbie, i.e. forging alliances and getting to know your co-stars all while staying likeable to the viewers. It is not an easy path she walks…
"It is more difficult than I thought it would be!" the Real Housewives of Orange County star admitted to People. "I was just like, 'Yeah, what do I have to lose?! What would people not like about me?! I'm just going to be myself, and I'm going to be positive, and have a different type of voice!'"