Y'all, I'm having an off week. It's the only way to explain my utter shock when watching a preview clip for Paul Nassif and Terry Dubrow's new plastic surgery show. I've read about it. Hell, I've written about it! It's titled BOTCHED for crying out loud! I can't exactly say I didn't know the premise of the pair's new endeavor!
Alas, my tolerance for creepy isn't what it used to be in my younger days, and I could barely stomach the bad plastic surgery. How does this even happen? I am sure the stories will be sad and the Bravolebrities past and present will nip, tuck, and repair these folks, resulting in a heartwarming and tearful reveal, but yikes! I guess I didn't realize how many ladies (and gents!) out there actually strive to look like a feline! Although now that you mention it, Adrienne Maloof WAS married to Paul…
That said, I will certainly be watching Botched when it premieres on E! later this month. I may be watching with one hand over my eyes, but I'll be watching nonetheless!
I swear, if they're not arguing about chairs, the ladies of Real Housewives of Orange County can find something equally as benign to bitch about–like gym promotions! Look, I understand why Tamra Judge wanted to be mad at Heather Dubrow for not offering up a CUT Fitness segment on her previous stint as a guest host on Good Day LA, but I don't really think that Heather had any pull regarding the situation. I'm not even a Heather fan this season (what happened?!?), but both women agree that Heather called her to fill her in on the situation when it happened, and Heather tried to rectify things–and promote CUT!–when given the opportunity. These women will complain about anything…and try to stir up drama at every turn. Lizzie Rovsek clearly learned that from watching past seasons…what was she trying to pull on Monday's episode?
Taking to her Bravo blog, Tamra begins, "Good Day L.A…. Let me tell you why I was so upset since you did not hear the whole story. Last summer I got a text from Heather saying she was going to co-host GDLA and wanted me to know that GDLA was bringing on another fitness studio and she had NOTHING to do with it. I said 'No worries' and thanked her for letting me know. I know there are a lot of gyms/fitness studios out there. A week later I see the segment on GDLA and they have the fitness studio SHE works out at (50 miles away from GDLA studio), HER chef and HER clothier on the same segment. So I thought to myself, 'REALLY, Heather, you had NO input, however all the guests were people you deal with directly?' My feelings were hurt!"
I believe Heather pitched CUT for Good Day L.A. because she wanted to, not because she was trying to right a wrong, and she seemed genuinely excited to share the news with Tamra and Eddie. Too bad Tamra is an ungrateful shrew. By making such a big deal about a competing gym being mentioned on Good Day L.A., she gave it even more press through Real Housewives of Orange County. Since Bravo showed a clip of the Good Day L.A. segment we all know the name of the gym as well. Tamra isn't too bright.
Heather took to her Bravo blog to discuss the drama surrounding Tamra and Shannon and to discuss Vicki Gunvalson's claim that she faked the perfectly timed phone call from her son. Perfectly timed, as in gave her an excuse to flee the party, not 10:30. Because, I'm not sure if you heard, but it was 10:30 when the call took place. If they said that one… more… time…
SoShannon Beador took to her Bravo blog to complain about Heather – not Tamra, mind you, but Heather. I can't. Don't get me wrong, Heather annoys me, but bitching about her while ignoring Tamra's drama queen antics? Yeah, no.
Out of nowhere and with her enemy safely out of sight, Tamra announced that she needed to replenish the blood in her alcohol, err, alcohol in her blood. #DependsOnTheDay "When Tamra, Lizzie, Danielle, and I were sitting in my living room, Tamra announced that she was feeling uncomfortable," explained Shannon. "I had numerous conversations with Tamra about her feelings that Heather talks down to her. I wanted her to be honest about how she felt."
Vicki Gunvalson is in love y'all, and she'd really rather you not bash her about it on social media. I'm inclined to agree. If she wants to screw up her life by dating a grifter, so be it! It's the whole, "Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me" mentality that Vicki simply doesn't seem to have when it comes to Brooks Ayers.
The Real Housewives of Orange County star hung out with on-again-off-again love Brooks at a Toby Keith concert. She then posted the above picture on her Instagram with the caption, "Friday night Toby Keith concert. Friends for over 20 years are the best ones. Love country music and laughing." Of course, she wasn't laughing when people started commenting on it.
So yes, Shannon Beador and Heather think their holiday cards are on par with the White House's in terms of preeminent importance. Shannon tells us that people look forward to her card every year and Heather gives a gushing speech about what it represents to her family (Time immemorial? Neil deGrasse Tyson joke!). They both hire full glam crews and professional photography teams to make these visions come to life. I think I saw Anna Wintour scuttling around behind the ladder in Heather's shoot.
It's nice to know that I have some things in common with these two wealthy beacons of the upper echelons – because even though I take my holiday photo with an iPhone, my kids misbehave just as much as Heather and Shannon's do! Anyway, Heather is taking her card in what looks like the parking lot of a storage facility. Maybe since they're between mega mansions she's going for homeless chic?