Oh Alexis Bellino… why? Why you do this to me? Who will be the burst of ridiculous in a sea of bitches who take themselves way, way too seriously? I blame Gretchen Hiss-tine Bootay for this! To commemorate one of my favorite delusional blondes with boobs as big as the Hollywood Hills I now present, Jesus Barbie: A Retrospective. Let’s recap some of Alexis’ greatest moments, shall we?
It seems that almost everyday there's a little buzz about which city will be hosting the next round of Bravo insanity with its own set of overly catty, surgically enhanced, and Botoxed to the hilt drama queens…marriage license preferred but certainly not required.
While the Bravo cash cow has women fighting each other in franchises all over the country, one rumor has been consistent for a while. Could Bravo be heading to the homeland of Eden and Cruz (yeah, I went there!) to film the next installment? With the original Real Housewives of Orange County still bringing in the ratings andReal Housewives of Beverly Hills still bringing the most-talked about dramatics, wouldn't it make sense to go back to Cali for the next batch of crazy?
While her emerging fan base will be sad to see her go, the trampoline dynasty will surely be thrilled to hear the latest Real Housewives of Orange County news! Alexis Bellino has announced that she won't be returning next season…by her own choice.
Those last three words, for me, are hard to swallow, as I can't see Alexis, as nice and clueless as she may appear, stepping out of the limelight of her own accord. In the past season, Alexis became the brunt of most of the ladies' drama, although she did kind of shoot herself in the foot by acting so pretentious and holier than thou. But that's just me. At least she has a bounce kingdom to oversee…it's the small things, right?
I'm going to go out on a limb here, but I'm guessing that there will never be any love lost between Tamra Barney and Alexis Bellino from Real Housewives of Orange County. In the wake of the news that Tamra has snubbed another season of the Bravo hit to focus on her family (um, prioritize much, Alexis?), Tamra's acrylic French tip claws have come out in full force!
As we've reported, Alexis is sticking to her claims that Bravo is desperate for her to return for season 8, but she just can't continue to put herself in a situation where people question her fake engagement ring, rental home, outrageous news anchor claims, and her husband's chimplant. Er, I mean, she just doesn't want to be bullied anymore. I can't say I blame her there…Alexis certainly get the brunt of hatefulness from her cast mates for purportedly being phony. Fake or not though, no one deserves to be subjected to other's petty bad behavior.
It wouldn't be a mature adult relationship if it wasn't playing out dramatically over Twitter, right? There is just something so sexy about a grown man who has nothing better to do with his time than to passive aggressively tweet about everything under the son. Thank you, Brooks Ayers, for showing me exactly what I want in my dream guy!
Brooks, who has been dating Real Housewives of Orange County'sVicki Gunvalson, has recently had a lot to say in the Twitterverse. I guess not working allows him that grand luxury. I wonder what I would do if I didn't have to work. Oh, I know! I'd perfect my ability to engage with strange and often angry female fans of Bravo in 140 characters or less…
The comments that Brooks has been tweeting in the last week have many speculating whether he is still filling Vicki's love tank with daily affirmations. The couple has met with a firestorm of criticism from fans, friends, and family alike, although both have put forth a united front. However, maybe the major lack of support from family is finally wearing on the pair. Vicki's daughter Briana Culberson has made no secret about her disdain for Brooks, who she believes in a con man. Likewise, her husband Ryan isn't Brooks' biggest fan. You all recall that Ryan called Brooks a "manipulative POS" last week on the social networking site.
We're not holding our breath, since she's been changing her story for months now. These "sources" tell Us Weekly, "Alexis was really tired of being bullied and chose home and family life over celebrity. She wanted to go back to her simple life in Orange County."
Meanwhile, Vicki's daughter Briana Culberson and her husband Ryan are NOT singing Brooks' praises. In fact, they are bashing him left and right in the Twitterverse…in between posts about how excited they are to welcome their son in the very near future. It's all incredibly scandalous, and Briana isn't one to partake in drama so I'm inclined to believe what she is saying!
Well, well… any interest in watching Vicki Gunvalson in her own show? She's hoping so. Vicki & Brooks: A Match Made In Prison? Affirmations In Orange County? For The Love Of Hallmark: The Vicki & Brooks Story. I'll Love You Even Though You're A Deadbeat: The Vicki Gunvalson Story? Or how about just: Vicki & Brooks: Love Tank Full? I Love Her Money: For The Love Of A Gigolo? Affairs Of The Greeting Card? Oh, I could go on all day, but unfortunately Vicki isn't interested in that kind of a spinoff. Danggit.
No, actually Vicki is hoping to go more the Suze Orman route!
The Real Housewives of Orange County star reveals that after last season's horrendous turn of events she just isn't sure if she's willing to return and is focusing instead on developing her own show! “I don’t know yet if I’ll be back,” she dishes to Celebuzz. “We have to see what happens.” Doesn't she say this every season?