Last night on Real Housewives of Miami we were witness to the slooooowest wedding ever. I mean it took over five years and then some hours to finally get that thing officially off the ground, right?!
Adriana de Moura was hours upon hours late to her own affair because she confused wedding with fashion show and was holed up in a suite getting dressed. Meanwhile downstairs the guests were sweating to death before passing out from hunger and finally giving up and leaving. Hopefully they all swung by McDonald's on their way out.
Twenty-four hours before the big day, the drama begins. Adriana is having a stress attack and is so sick she's talking about skipping the whole thing to sleep. She pretty much did skip the whole thing but that's cause she was grooming. Speaking of grooming, despite just getting an IV of vitamins she needsFrederic Marq to give her a B-12 shot in the butt for more vitamins. Is it possible to be addicted to them?
Another day, another Bravo housewife shoving a product in our faces. I don't even bat an eyelash at them anymore. Seriously, who does?
This time around it's former Real Housewives of Miami star Karent Sierra who is now promoting Colgate. You know, I have to give her credit…it's a perfect fit with her career as a dentist. It's not like she's just putting her name on a gussied up Zima or penning a cookbook about microwave dinners.
Not surprisingly, Bravo's favorite potty-mouthed Polish beauty has her take on what happened, and she's never one to hold back. Joanna remains vehemently loyal to Lea and is quick to belittle her fiance's feelings in one breath and then praise him with the next. She's exhausting, no?
"I have reached out to Elsa many times with cards, calls, and flowers that can be verified by florists, and I sent an email to her daughter, who never replied back," Lea maintains.
"The amount of camouflaged and blatant hatred, venom, lies, bitterness, and phoniness that spews out at me each week says more about anyone than I could ever say," Lea adds. "It’s unfortunate you can't go to a party of 'friends' without being a target." Um… welcome to the Real Housewives franchise!
The reality TV viewer numbers for Sunday and Monday are in – and it's good news all around. Nearly all the shows saw an increase in viewership this week.
On Sunday, the season finale of Hollywood Exes garnered 723,000 viewers, which was up from last week's 581,000. Season two started strong, premiering to 1.7 million, but quickly declined. The season average was 826,583 viewers.
Last night on The Real Housewives of Miami, Adriana de Moura turned off her co-stars by sending out her wedding invitations via email. And not just any old E-vite…one with detailed instructions on what to wear, what not to wear and an inspiration board to get them started!
Adriana took to her Bravo blog to defend her wedding decisions, "Welcome to the 21st century! Yes, I had an Evite for my wedding, because we all live on our computers, tablets, smart phones, etc. Who needs a printed invite when nobody cares about that anymore? Besides we need to save trees and think of our impact on the environment as well." Fellow Real Housewife NeNe Leakes apparently agrees with her, as she did the same thing.
Joanna Krupa and Romain finally had a breakthrough in their relationship. Adriana de Mouracontinuedto be insane by insisting her wedding guests dress pure and innocent as angels, newborn fawns, and daisies at her sham re-wedding, which is anything but fresh as the first snow.
Joanna has Lisa Hochstein over for dinner. Joanna doesn't cook or use dishes so she serves sushi and soup out of the restaurant takeout boxes. I was getting the BPA heebie-jeebies watching them drink miso out of the big plastic cartons. The food doesn't really matter since the wine is the main course.
For every bout of bad behavior, every Bravo star has a sob story and tiny violin to play to explain it away. Real Housewives of Miami'sAdriana de Moura is no exception. Listen, I'm not discounting a troubled youth or a sad home life or awful relationships which lead to low self-esteem, but don't we all have these same issues on some level or another?
Where else should these "explanations" be aired but on their Bravo blog? Adriana uses hers this week to share why she has such trust issues and why meeting with the minister was so important to her and her husband fiance Frederic.