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RHOM

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It's like a New Year's miracle!  Could it be that Real Housewives of Miami's Elsa Patton is getting her own show?  Andy Cohen would certainly be all for it.  Just think of the craziness draped in fur and subtitles.  It's already my new favorite show!

RHOM fans know that despite some unfortunate plastic surgery, Mama Elsa tells it like it is.  When she's not threatening drag queens, dancing in caftans, or having psychic visions, she's doling out some pretty down-to-earth advice.  She's the Big Ang of Bravo.

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Lordy, Lordy.  It just never ends. I'm going to keep this short and sweet.   After having her not-really-engaged-but-actually-married to Frederic Marq lie exposed yesterday, Adriana de Moura's publicist released a statement to the Miami Herald blog, Scene in the Tropics

When they reached out to Adriana's team, they got this explanation from her publicist Lynn Brodsky about her marriage and why they pretended to only be engaged. 

"Adriana did get divorced in 2003, but her and Roberto tried to work things out and had a common law marriage until 2006. After breaking it off she then met Frederic in 2008. On a romantic whim after dating briefly, Adriana and Frederic went to the clerk's office on their own with no friends and family, and were married. There was a discrepancy in the certificate – so instead of having the marriage fix [sic] or annulled, they decided to take a step back and hold off until they were truly ready. Adriana and Frederic are planning to have a beautiful (and proper) wedding this spring."  

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rhom-recap

Last night was the final episode of Real Housewives of Miami. It went the way all reunions go with cocktail dress clad and overly spray-tanned women screaming at each other over an utterly useless Andy Cohen. We were spared an Elaine Lancaster appearance. We were rewarded with a Mama Elsa appearance. And we all got tired of Ana Quincoces making herself sound silly by taking repeated jabs at Lea Black's age.

C'mon now – if you're gonna rip someone apart you have to be clever about it. (See: Leakes, NeNe, "Wigs" "Trashbox" "Close Your Legs To Married Men!") That's just elementary, like Housewives 101. 

Things begin with a drama in review. And that unfortunate drama is Joe Francis and Joanna Krupa's reported unsavory past. Joanna clears up that she was never in Girls Gone Wild but instead hosted an infomercial with Snoop Dog. She also insists she did not "sleep" or "associate" with criminals. 

Ana leaps in to accuse Lea of bringing Joe to the party as a "prop" to set Joanna up. Lea denies it, shrieking that Ana is making yet another false accusation and suggests Ana stick to cooking where hopefully she can keep her ingredients straighter than her facts. I wish Lea had said ingrediences. 

Ana keeps speaking over everyone and answering for them. Annoying. Shht!  The drama over the bitchslap, broom stick wielding, boob-exposing meltdown continues. Yes, let's talk about this some more. It was actually a productive conversation. Adriana de Moura apologized for smacking Joanna and she was disgusted for herself for getting physical. Apparently Adriana was depressed for days following the incident. 

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adriana-de-moura

Well isn't this interesting!  It seems that a liar, liar is in order for Real Housewives of Miami star Adriana de Moura and her "fiance" or shall we say HUSBAND Frederic Marq! Yes, it would appear that Adriana and Frederic are not engaged, but MARRIED already – for more than four years! 

After a few Tweets and emails alerting us to the fact that Adriana and Frederic might be lying for the cameras about their engagement, we went searching to see if the rumblings were true. One quick search on the Miami Dade Marriage License Bureau website shows this little bit of photographic evidence. 

When someone Tweeted this to Adriana, Aviva Drescher chimed in asking if she had gotten married, to which Adriana replied with "Not Yet!"  At least not yet on camera, right? #LiesByBravo?

Take a peek below for the screen shot of the marriage certificate info! 

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Adriana de Moura is known for her feisty and flamboyant style on Real Housewives of Miami. Speaking to OK! Magazine she shares her fashion and beauty secrets and gives us a heads up on what to expect on tonight's reunion!

Adriana describes her style as "romantic and trendy" with the requisite "splash of sexy!" As for her style advice, she believes women should just accept themselves and be happy with who they are. 

"Starting with the acceptance that NOBODY is perfect, but there is always some part of your body that is beautiful," Adriana shares. "So find out what it is and wear something that will bring attention to that. This way you can FEEL beautiful and when you feel beautiful, you look beautiful to others." 

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**EXCLUSIVE** Joanna Krupa and Romain Zago enjoy the first day of 2013 together on Miami Beach

Are you looking for a little inspiration to help you stick to those weight loss resolutions? I don't know about you, but seeing Joanna Krupa frolicking on the beach, showing off her amazing bikini body is enough motivation for me! 

The Real Housewives of Miami star splashed around in the water in her turquoise / mint bikini and then cozied up with her fiance Romain Zago at Miami Beach on New Year's Day. 

The couple enjoyed a few days of fun and sun before they had to get back to work.  Joanna Tweeted, "Really sad its my last nite with @romain_zago. The fun is over back to reality and work. Gone for a month to film top model."

 

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Photo Credit: Photograph: Brett Kaffee/Thibault Monnier, Jeff Steinberg / PacificCoastNews.com

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We now know how NeNe Leakes spent her New Year's Eve, but let's take a peek at how some of the other reality stars rang in 2013. 

Lisa Hochstein shared, "#hello 2013 #nye #playadelcarmen #mexico"

Take a peek below for a glimpse at how the reality stars brought in the new year – including Melissa Gorga, Tamra Barney, Ramona Singer and more!

 

Photo Credit

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Joanna Krupa at the Gallery Nightclub in Planet Hollywood, Las Vegas, NV

Joanna Krupa got the party started early.  The Real Housewives of Miami star headed to Las Vegas for a little pre-New Year's Eve celebration at Gallery Nightclub.

Before the party at Gallery, Joanna checked out Coco Austin's Peepshow with a friend.  She Tweeted, "Getting ready to see the @peepshow @cocosworld with my girl @traciszy then dinner @KoiLasVegas and party time @GalleryClubLV ! Excited!!"

Check out the gallery below, which includes a close up of Joanna's huge engagement ring from fiance Romain Zago!

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