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RHONJ Reunion

 

Aaaahhh… Real Housewives of New Jersey - just when I thought this season would never end and we'd be trapped in a labyrinth with Melissa Gorga popping up around random corners to sing at us and Teresa Giudice chasing us down calling us "prostitution whore!" comes word that the reunion for the eternal fourth season has filmed. 

So there is light at the end of the tunnel. I won't be recapping RHONJ until the end of eternity. To quote a certain NJ lady, "Thank you Jesus!" 

Yes, that's right this weekend the RHONJ reunion filmed to insane reviews. Just ask anyone who was there. Taking to twitter the cast reacted to what was surely a PTS inducing nightmare of screaming, accusations, hysteria, and one very afraid and powerless Andy Cohen shrieking randomly for people to shut-up. Oh, Andy… why you so useless?

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On last night’s FINAL episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey I breathed a serious sigh of relief, opened up the wine for a guzzlet or two, and prepared to cringe. I have run out of steam with these people. I’m going to try and cover this the best I can, but there was a lot of yelling about things like Kool-aid that left me confused. So, hang in there!

The show opens with Andy’s attempts at fun by bringing up Joe G-to-the-Orga’s horniness and The Gorgasm? A montage of all the couples’ lovey-dovey moments is replayed, except for Caroline and Albert. Cause I guess they don’t have them – or Caroline just won’t discuss them. Uh-huh. Apparently Joe Gorga has a history of dressing up like a lady – it goes way back to when he was little. This is explains a lot. Did The Gorgas want two Teresas?! Ooooohhh… the stress that image just caused!

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Last night’s Real Housewives of New Jersey reunion from hell gave me stress-induced anxiety, like for real! I could not guzzle the wine fast enough! The rage was palpable and the ladies were down right dirty. This made RHONY’s reunion seem almost tolerable. Did I just type that?!

First of all, does anyone remember that notorious website Socialite Rank? Well, I wish we had a website devoted to Housewives Ranking, called of course, Housewives Rank, because if we did The Caroline and Teresa would be neck and neck for bottom of the heap after last night’s dreadful performance! Melissa had her moments of dirty as well, and for the most part Kathy kept her hands clean and imagined beautiful beaches and escape. Me too, Kath!

*Simple Disclaimer – I am a woman without a housewife – I play no favorites. I participate in equal opportunity snarking. All the ladies are ridiculous to a degree (yes, some more than others) and I like to spread the snark around!

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