So Real Housewives of New Jersey keeps teasing us about some great magical place where everyone comes together, sings Kumbaya and is happy, happy, happy! So far we've seen some baby steps starting with Teresa Giudicemaking amends with her cousin Rosie on this week's episode.
In her Bravo blog, Teresa promises that although things are heated right now, everything simmers down with time. And much more good is to come. But of course, because they're Italians there are a lot of flaring tempers!
"I'm not gonna lie, I'm so happy right now," Teresa begins. "Things are so so good. (Maybe it's because I finally got a taste of my own medicine. Had no idea I needed that so badly. Yum!) Seriously though, we are all in a good place now, and you'll soon see how we got there."
Teresa Giudice has had some interesting fashion choices since she first hit our TV screens on The Real Housewives of New Jersey. We were feeling nostalgic today, pining for those days of RHONJ when things were less complicated and dark. Plus, we have a few thousand photos to use up in our contract by month's end, so we figured why not take a look back at some of the greatest fashion moments in Housewives history. You've been warned – this week is going to be a funky – and sometimes frightening – fashion palooza!
First up we're bringing you a Teresa flashback, starting around 2009. I tried to pick photos that we haven't seen a million times already and since we didn't have a contract with this particular agency back then, we found some real gems!
Proving that Poison thinks for himself and doesn't let Melissa carry his balls around in any kinda rented or faux Chanel, she cites him calling her out on last night's episode. Isn't that nice!
"If I hear the phrase 'pu— whipped' one more time, I’m going to have to break something," Melissa fumes. "A whipped man would never call out his wife if he thought she did something wrong. Joe wasn’t happy about my Chanel bag tweet. Meanwhile, anyone who says he never sticks up for his sister should be eating their words right now."
Last night on Real Housewives of New Jersey some tepid family bonds were forged while others remained more fractured than a crackle manicure. Oh deja Jersey – coming back to haunt us like bad ju-ju!
Things begin with the aftermath of Joe Gorga's gym baptism by fire. Poison is driving home talking to himself, mumbling "bitch" and other little rude names. The voices in his head really shouldn't be so hard on him. He's only a man, after all. A flawed one, but still only a man with a penchant for weight lifting, Tarzan-ing, and embarrassing himself.
He stomps into the house where a perfectly made up Melissa Gorga is relaxing on her bed begging daughter Antonia to "write" her book for her. Melissa tells Antonia about including stories about her own dad in the book. Melissa is running the including her dad thing by everyone as if she really cares about anyone's opinion. Girl is going to include all her dad's dirrry secrets because it sells books and there is no point to writing a book if it isn't to sell it!
Melissa says she doesn't want her daughter to see the type of family life she had and right on cue here comes Poison grunting and talking himself down from jumping off the faux-marble roof as he barges in to let Melissa know that Teresa Giudice was ranting about fake Chanel on Twitter or something.
Despite what anyone wants to say about Teresa Giudice, the infamous bankrupt villainess of questionable intelligence has managed to convince producers to entirely craft the storylines of Real Housewives of New Jersey around her. Genius or lucky?
In tonight's installment of Teresa's Revenge, she will go head-to-head with cousin Rosie Pierri, who was last seen in a drunken stupor instructing Teresa to participate in some lurid sexual practices. Hey – hate sex works for some people!
Anyhoodle, Rosie and Teresa will sit down tonight and try to iron out all the conflict that has erupted since their parents stopped speaking and Wallpaper Wakile joined the show as Melissa Gorga's sidekick.
Both Teresa Giudice and Melissa Gorga get on my last nerve with their one-upping and back-and-forth and white lies on Real Housewives of New Jersey. Petty, petty, petty! However, I don't know what is more humorous…Tre's very thinly veiled insults or Melissa's constant high road antics as if she's never stooped to her sister-in-law's level.
After Tre revisited her table trash can flipping ways at "her" gym with brother Poison on this week's episode, Melissa is all about addressing the situation in her weekly Bravo blog. Don't worry…she also takes plenty of opportunity to promote her book Love Italian Style!
Melissa writes, "What I saw from my husband’s conversation with his sister is that Teresa can dish it out, but she can’t take it. Come on girl, toughen up! I take it all the time. On Season 3, she mocked my music and called me a gold digger. On Season 4, she said I’d leave my husband for a richer man and I was questioned by her about being a stripper. We already know I’m a bad daughter-in-law. I don’t know how many more negative things I can be accused of."
So, Melissa Gorga and Teresa Giudice allegedly make amends this season and start patching their family back together. But for now things are still a hot mess of allegations, crazy, and back-and-forth nonsense.
Next week Joe Gorga will apparently start to recognize that his wife is also instigating the family feud as he catches wind of an explosive tweet she sends. Our source shares with us EXCLUSIVELY that Joe is caught in the middle and has no idea who to believe in all the arguing.