In her first blog of the new season she discusses reuninting her family and trying to work things out with Melissa Gorga. Perhaps the first step should be duct taping Juicy's mouth shut!
Chapter 1: On Why She Stopped Speaking To Poison & Melissa
After last season (which was not fun) and the horrible reunion, we all took a big break from each other. We didn't see each other for over a year. Not seeing my brother and his family was heartbreaking, but after what Joey and Melissa said at the reunion — that they were moving and didn't want to have anything to do with me or my kids — what could I do?
I had to respect their wishes and give them space. It broke my heart, but it was what they wanted. I just concentrated on my own family, on my girls, and prayed that they would find their way back to our family.
Right out of the gate, Melissa Gorga's first blog has some pretty harsh comments for Teresa Giudice. In addition to citing reasons why she doesn't feel comfortable with Antonia spending time at the Giudice house (Juicy gymnastics anyone?!), Melissa continues to place blame for the family feud on Teresa's bespangled, feathered, and bronzed shoulders. Oh girl… the victim act is so last season! This season is all about renaissance. Get with the program!
And as I said before; I refuse to take sides on this ridiculous feud anymore. They are BOTH at fault and both ridiculous. The Gorgadices need to grow up and act like adults. Put the famewhoring aside and stop with the finger-pointing!
Remember that Lindsay Lohan movie "Freaky Friday" where the mom became the kid and the kid suddenly morphed into the mom role after they were both struck by lightening or something? Yeah – that was last night's episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey!
As the adults continued to behave childishly and bicker pettily over everything imaginable, the kids were able to give them a little lesson in communication, letting bygones be bygones, and focusing on the positive!
Before we get to all that, things begin with the cast recovering from the aftermath of Hurricane Sandy. While none of them lost their primary homes, Teresa Giudice and Melissa Gorga both had their shore homes damaged. "My house… what happened??" they both wail – as a flood of last summer's empty bronzing bottles and sequined bikinis wash over their feet. 'All my marble deck furniture like suuuunk! Waaaah… and what about my rhinestone encrusted jet ski Joeeew' Ok – so the editors cut that out, but you KNOW that's what really happened!
First of all, yes we heard the rumors that Teresa Giudice's alleged cooking-based spinoff is happening and in the casting phases, buuuuut… we're still investigating that!
Regarding a so-called Madame Juicy spinoff, Andy Cohen was questioned and played coy.
“Maybe, you never know,” Andyhinted to Wetpaint. “We don’t like to spin everybody off, we like to go slowly.”
In other words; brace yourselves because you know – and I know – it's coming. Teresa will be spun-off! Rumor has it, Teresa doesn't want a spinoff based on her personal life, but Bravo is hoping to capture the Joe Giudice's trial and how that will potentially affect Teresa's family and life.
In other news concerning the Real Housewives of New Jersey star: tonight is the season premiere! Teresa will not only be torturing or gracing us with her presence (depending on how you look at it) on tonight's epic premiere, she'll also be appearing on WWHL. Pace yourself with the Fabellinis, kids!
As we countdown to the apocalypse…errrr… I mean the premiere of Real Housewives of New Jersey season 5, we are reminded of all the scary times of season's past! From the epic fights to the ridiculous comments to the hair – oh the hair! And the parties. And the leopard!
At the center of all the gold lame and marble overload is of course one woman, besieged by sequins, bubbies out: Teresa Giudice! It wouldn't be RHONJ without you, girl!
So on T-4 days until the premiere let's countdown Teresa's most outrageous moments. She looks so innocent, but behind those eyes lies stonecold crazy!
You didn't really think that Melissa Gorga and Teresa Giudice would actually get along on the upcoming season of Real Housewives of New Jersey, did you? As much as these two preach family and forgiveness, it's hard to get past stripper allegations and the desire for siblings to value blood over marriage. You know how it is.
With the fifth season of the Bravo hit right around the corner, the women are flocking to whatever media outlet that will listen to air their dirty bedazzled laundry while at the same time claiming to be in a "better place." Sure.