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Ok… here we go again! It's another fashionably-challenged delusionaly-inspired hour of Real Housewives of New Jersey

Things begin with yet another fight about Melissa Gorga allegedly cheating on Joe Gorga. I was rolling my eyes and guzzling my wine with my Milania Hair Care Hairmuffs on so I really don't know what that man was yammering on about. I was all prepared to throw my wine glass at the TV in my own Incredible Hulk Man-angsty moment when Bravo flashed us back 12 hours earlier. 

And I really wish I had been prepared with my blinders on! We are greeted by Poison grinding his junk in Melissa's face. 'Happy Birthday baby – just call me Justin Timberlake cause I got you some d*ck in a box!' Melissa is like 'Where? I don't see it… Oh. Yeah that little guy. Awwww… thanks… Hi TUHREEEZA!" If I got Poison's junk in my face for a birthday gift I would cancel birthdays for the rest of my life. And Melissa had never been so happy to see her sister-in-law.

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La Toya Jackson's First Night in Newsical the Musical

Danielle Staub stopped by the Watch What Happens Live clubhouse tonight to dish with Andy Cohen and it was almost as good as if Kim Granatell was on!  Danielle shared her love for Teresa Giudice, her loathing of the other housewives, including sharing just how Melissa Gorga landed a spot on the show!  Danielle also shared that she's shooting a new reality show!

Andy kicked off the show irritating Danielle by mentioning Kim G.  Trust us, we know how much she despises Kim G.  Danielle blocked us on Twitter for just for saying we wished that Danielle and Kim G would be on a show together.  We meant it to be fun but she wasn't having it.

Her thoughts on Teresa's federal indictment charges: "I feel bad for them.  They're people, they're family and you know things that are very bad are happening to them, so it would be really wrong of anyone to enjoy that." 

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rhonj-teresa-melissa

Teresa Giudice and Melissa Gorga continue to pretend that they've mended fences tonight on the new episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey.  Sort of.  Melissa will get that birthday trip she was looking forward to, complete with presents and family fighting.  Therapy is officially over (and all progress made is out the window).

In the preview clip, we see Joe Gorga sucking on Melissa's toes as Teresa walks in their room at the Miraval spa in Arizona (yes, we're stillllll there!!).  Teresa gifts Melissa with a pair of black lace underwear with a peace sign bedazzled on the crotch for her birthday present.  Ya know, because there's peace in Jersey now. 

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It's bye bye mansion for Joe and Melissa GorgaThe Real Housewives of New Jersey stars have packed up and headed out after reportedly selling their house for $3.8 million dollars last month. 

Melissa shared a photo of the moving truck in the driveway.  She wrote, "It's been a long 2 days.. 12 hrs yesterday & still going strong. Can't believe it's actually happening."  There probably wasn't too much to pack as that house was pretty empty for its massive size!  Which I'm not knocking – I'm all about less is more. I hate "stuff", so I'm a minimalist when it comes to that.  

The Gorgas hit spent their Labor Day weekend at their Jersey Shore house before heading home to Montville to pack up and finalize things.  The couple is now renting a place in a Franklin Lakes and are reportedly planning to build a new mansion.  She can furnish it with her new home decor line, right?

There are still some disputes over the selling price of the home and questions about whether or not the Gorgas owned or rented it.  We've been checking every day, but so far the closing and sale price haven't been updated on the government site.  We'll keep you posted! 

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'The Real Housewives of New Jersey' stars Joe and Teresa Giudice have pleaded not guilty to federal fraud charges.

Busy week for the New Jersey court system where the Real Housewives of New Jersey are concerned! 

Earlier we reported that Jacqueline Laurita's trial for the infamous Posche 2 Brawl had been moved, and now comes news that Teresa and Joe Giudice's federal fraud trial has also been postponed! 

The couple was slated to stand trial in Newark, NJ on October 8th, but now will appear in court on February 24, 2014! Joe is already standing trial in October for his fake ID trial, the judge opted to push his other fraud trial back as lawyers for both sides petitioned for a continuance. 

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rhonj-jacqueline

Earlier this year an epic brawl broke out during a Real Housewives of New Jersey Posche Boutique event. Kim D was opening a new salon – and it was open for drama! 

Jacqueline Laurita reportedly clubbed Penny Karagiorgis' husband 'Johnny The Greek' with a stiletto as Chris Laurita and Joe Gorga jumped into the mix. Both parties are charged with assault and the matter was due in court on Sept. 5th. 

NorthJersey.com reports that the charges of assault and terroristic threats have been adjourned and will no longer go before a criminal court judge. Instead the trial will be heard in municipal court on September 26th.

The case against Johnny, filed as a result of charges being pressed by Jacqueline, Chris, and Joe, will also be adjourned and held in municipal court. 

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rhonj-season-5-cast

Yesterday the Real Housewives of New Jersey reunion taped for an EPIC 15 hours! Seriously – is there enough booze in the world for that group to last that long?

We had thought an apocalypse came and claimed Franklin Lakes, NJ since no one was tweeting all day yesterday. Naturally we assumed Jacqueline Laurita had been nabbed by aliens, right? Nope – she was just being quarantined on a sound stage by Bravo. Luckily today she returned, tweeting: "Yesterday was a great day but VERY long!"

Teresa Giudice allegedly brought her attorney to the taping. A girl can never be too prepared! “Teresa wants to clear her name, but she’s extremely limited in what she can talk about,” a source told Wetpaint. “It’s very frustrating to her.”

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real-housewives-of-new-jersey-season

In an interesting twist this week, Teresa Giudice opted to post her Real Housewives of New Jersey blog on her own personal site rather than share it on the Bravo website.  After reading it, it's pretty clear why. 

Teresa is very blunt about her frustration with the editing of this week's episode, blaming Bravo for skewing certain things, slamming Melissa for Tweeting nonsense and calling Caroline a liar. 

She starts off sharing that she loved and hated the episode.  She first says what she liked about the episode (and throws digs at Melissa right out of the gate), "I loved it because I really loved the entire experience in Arizona. I love new things. You didn't see me making fun of the counselors or putting it down or whining in bed because I really appreciated everything about it. Part of life is to keep learning new stuff, and I love that. I was open to everything: the drums, the psychic, the horse, the high-wire. We were there to get some healing, and I was ready. I was tired of crying! Some good vibes and happiness were welcome!"

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