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rhonj-recap

So last night on Real Housewives of New Jersey the producers teased us with progress, yet again, but then we all ended up right back where we started with some sort of family drama nonsense. 

Gaaawd. Gawwwwwd. Gaaaaaaaaaaaaawd. It's all sooooo boring. We don't care. And you know what, it doesn't even seem believable anymore. Ugh. That's like all I have to muster. Recap over. Bye! Just kidding, but I'm gonna go ahead and say the highlight of last night's show was Penny Drossos-Karagiorgis' 10 foot long ponytail extension from the My Little Pony Weave Collection! Seriously that synthetic tail she was sporting was the color of Kraft Mac & Cheese and looked like straight up plastic Easter grass. As RuPaul would say: 'Grrrrrrrrllllll…' 

My other favorite part of the episode: Melissa Gorga's "singing". Her music career is about as believable as Penny's hair. Alright let's dive in!

So Teresa Giudice is pimping out Skinny Italian foods. She's got some sort of "store" where she has all the packages displayed. Is it edible? Apparently she's saving pasta from being boring by dumping a bunch of love in some pre-packaged rigatoni. Whatever. The real point of this meeting is so she can discuss the Melissa drama with her mom and mother-in-law. I'm not gonna snark – the mommies are adorable. They encourage Teresa to invite Joe and Melissa for a family lunch. Alls good now… for less time than it takes to boil a pot of spaghetti! 

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Melissa Gorga Joe attend Mcdonald's event

Joe and Melissa Gorga must be all moved in and unpacked!  The Real Housewives of New Jersey couple stepped out last night in NYC. 

Melissa and Joe attended a McDonald's event that kicked off the start of the NFL season by launching the new "Mighty Wings".  She Tweeted, "Are you watching football?!!! Have you tried @mcdonalds new #mightywings they are Delish!!! Just left their launch party!"

Other celebs pretending to eat on the red carpet: Jenny McCarthy, Adrienne Bailon, True Blood hottie Joe Manganiello, and rapper Eve.

I'm sure Teresa Giudice will be attending an event for Burger King later this week…. stay tuned! 

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Teresa Giudice Audriana Birthday

Joe and Teresa Giudice celebrated Audriana's fourth birthday this weekend.  The Real Housewives of New Jersey stars kept thing low key with their four daughters, throwing a Barbie themed party for their youngest girl. 

Teresa threw the party at Kidden Around in Wayne, New Jersey, which is owned by Joe's sister Maria.  Audriana enjoyed a Barbie cake and pretended to be a real new-in-the-box Barbie Doll with her mom. 

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caroline-manzo-full

Love her or hate her (and I think I know the majority's opinion, although I don't necessarily share it), Real Housewives of New Jersey's Caroline Manzo doesn't mince words.  

In her Bravo blog, Caroline addresses the multiple family bonding, therapy sessions, and misguided team-building exercises.  It was so much more believable when these folks weren't getting along?  How much more passive aggressiveness between Melissa Gorga and Teresa Giudice can the viewing audience take?  Give us (and the poor therapy horse!) a break, Bravo!

The Manzo matriarch begins by stating the obvious, writing, "The past two episodes of RHONJ were pretty intense, wouldn't you agree? As promised, the viewing audience witnessed a few very real and emotional moments from cast members that you would least expect, my husband Albert being one of them. I'm not gonna lie, that knocked me for a loop, I wasn't expecting that at all."

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Just Dance With Boy Meets Girl - Front Row

Teresa Giudice was not going to be outdone by sister-in-law Melissa Gorga.  She got an invite for Fashion Week, too, darn it! 

The Real Housewives of New Jersey star hit up Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week with her daughters Milania and Gia.  The Giudice girls were all smiles in the front row for the Just Dance with Boy Meets girl by Stacy Igel fashion show during Style360 Spring 2014 at Metropolitan Pavilion. 

All kidding aside, Gia filmed a video message about cyber bullying for the brand.  Gia writes, "My #BMGLiveOutLoudMoment was dealing with cyber bullying by social media. Knowing that this is a hard thing to deal with I want to inspire kids to let them know everyone is special in there own way and that they have a voice to stand up to bullies."  Her video is below.

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Jacqueline And Chris Laurita’s “Lawyer” Arrested For Falsely Representing Himself As An Attorney! Jacqueline Claims He Never Represented Them!

Well it's plausible enough – and since everyone else on Real Housewives of New Jersey is living (and believing) a lie, why not?! 

A Franklin Lakes man named Mark J. McGuire was arrested last week for fraudulently representing himself as Jacqueline and Chris Laurita's attorney!

The man in question, who was charged with unauthorized practice of law, spent 45 minutes posing as the Laurita's counsel while they were being interviewed by police over their participation in the Posche 2 Salon Brawl. You know the one where wackin' Jacqueline allegedly smacked 'Johnny The Greek' with her stiletto!

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US Weekly Most Stylish New Yorkers Party

Melissa Gorga, Jacqueline Laurita, and Marysol Patton turned up last night at the Us magazine "Most Stylish New Yorkers" party.  Yes, really.  Contain your laughter.  Maybe the reality stars and Bravolebrities were just there to support the real guests of honor.  You know, the people who actually live in New York and, um, have style. 

Also in attendance: Andy Cohen, Kevin Jonas and pregnant wife Danielle, among others. Take a peek at the pictures and let us know who was showing some "style" at the event.

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2013 MTV Music Video Awards

Real Housewives of New Jersey star Melissa Gorga defends herself over not including everyone in her birthday dinner toast on this week's episode.  She also explains why it's loving to call her husband names.

Melissa took to her blog to explain that she didn't purposely exclude certain people at her birthday dinner raising of the glass.  "I was grateful for the opportunity to thank our family and friends at my birthday dinner. I addressed individuals as part of a couple and I gave extra love to those who needed the positive attention and appreciation. Joe Giudice, Kathy, and Rosie really opened up in Arizona. They showed their hearts. I was proud of them for it, and said so. Somehow, my singling out some with special admiration got twisted into “snubbing” others. That was not the vibe in the room or my intention. Frankly, I was upset to hear that anyone interpreted it that way." 

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