Last night the Real Houewives Of New Jersey reunion and these girls came prepared to bring their solid gold-plated fambly drama. Really – is there any person on RHONJ that doesn’t have some seriously intense and Lifetime Movie family issues that should not be meta-solved on reality TV? It’s looking like Amber Marchese is the only one, but then again, she has The Jim so maybe not!
But last night all the drama centered around the two famblies that put the thieves in Thick As Theives but certainly not the thick (Lapband as thieves doesn’t have the same ring to it, does it?!): the Manzos and the Gorgadices.
Teresa Giudice is headed to prison and she’s still living in a delusional world cause she is a delusional girl. She and Melissa Gorga have a little tension-y about whether or Melissa texes Teresa or called her after she got her sentence. Glad in this terrible time Teresa can still focus on the important things like pettiness! And Dina Manzo, bless her heart, she’ll defend Tre to the bitter end because like duh – murderers aren’t going to prison but “good girls” like Teresa are. Do good girls steal from banks? Does Dina have a different dicktionary than I do? “Good: a person who is like nice-ish and only occasionally like breakes the lawr but who makes really good spaghettis from ingredientzes that are zenny and who defenses me against my horrible sister-in-law.” Dina is a caring friend, but good friends don’t let friends be totally f–king delusional!
Tonight the Real Housewives Of New Jersey season 6 reunion kicks off. Teresa Giudice is wearing her finest solid gold Christmas pageant couture to harken back to happier times of reunions when she was just feuding with friends and family instead of heading off to prison! At least Teresa is going out with a bang in designer Christmas Pageant couture, that is!
Tonight Dina Manzo will open up about her family drama and Teresa will storm off set in a huff. Which is all fun and everything, but I just want to know who is wearing what and if it came from Posche.
Bethenny‘s currently in the middle of a press tour for her books, Cookie Meets Peanut and Skinnygirl Cocktails, so now she’s promoting the books AND she’s talking about the ratings challenged show. As they say, timing is everything.
In a recent interview with Extra, Bethenny talked about her decision to return to Real Housewives of New York, her personal life, and her reaction to Real Housewives of New Jersey‘s Teresa Giudice‘s prison sentence.
I guess when you’re sentenced to the clink, anyone and everyone who has ever spent time in prison is raring to provide their two cents. Teresa Giudice certainly has people coming out of the woodwork to give her advice as to how to spend her time in the big house, but I was certainly surprised to hear the latest person chime in on the Real Housewives of New Jersey star’s fate!
There is no shortage of celebrities and prominent figures who have spent time behind bars, but who knew the Reverend Al Sharpton would be weighing in on Tre’s upcoming incarceration? Preach!
Discussing DICKtionaryGate between Kathy and Teresa, Dina admits she initially thought Teresa was being ridiculous and should just accept Kathy’s apology. But now that Dina knows Kathy a little better… and has seen how Kathy is behaving with Jacqueline Laurita (i.e. using each other for camera time and filming reactions Teresa’s sentencing), Dina has changed her mind. Now she seems to imply that Kathy is manipulative and scheming just like everyone else on RHONJ!
During the show, Jacqueline tweeted to Andy Cohen, “I asked my husband to reach out to Dina when she went through the divorce. So did I and I encouraged them to meet. She wouldn’t.”
Dina replied, “That’s not true. Just because you say it doesn’t mean it’s true. I wanted to meet with my brother more than anything.” In response, Jacqueline tweeted to Andy, “Chris Laurita favorited my tweet. He knows the truth.” and “I still have our text messages that I can show you.” Does anyone delete texts?
On Secrets Revealed Part 1 Bravo unveiled all the Real Housewives Of New Jersey drama we missed. The ladies packed up all the tampons at ShopRite and traveled to Atlantic City via party bus. We – and they – can thank the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad twins for this trip!
And a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad trip it was! In synopsis: everyone had their period, Amber Marchese wants to be a Russian hooker named Alana when she grows up, Twinsanity, and Dina Manzo files Atlantic City under “White Trash” in the zen-dictionary.
Of course, more happened: first of all Teresa Giudice packed like her life depended on it – did she know this was the last time, for a long time, she’d be strutting her sequins out on vacation? A party bus, hired by a twin, picked-up Melissa Gorga, then Teresa. Melissa spotting Teresa standing in front of a mountain of luggage, in front of her gelatinous mountain of tackstronomy house, observed, “You need to learn to scale back girlfriend.” Truer words, Melis! They tawk periods and pick-up Dina who is DUH – like on her period!
Awwww…. making those memories Giucy fan! In this case, Teresa Giudice and Joe Giudice celebrated their last anniversary before one of them hits the slammer; Teresa to serve 15 months, followed by Juicy serving 41 months. Memmmmmmmrreeeeees, misty fabellini colored memmmmmmmrieeeeeeeees of the way we were!
Teresa announced on instagram that she and Joe celebrated 15 years of felonious bliss. “Celebrated our 15 yr Anniversary 10/23/99 With the Love of my Life,” Teresa captioned the photo of her looking all “Everything’s FIIIIIIINE!!!” and Joe looking all, “Where’s the wiiiiiine?!” #GimmeBoozeYouOldTroll