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RHONY Recap

On the latest episode of the Real Housewives of New York City, LuAnn has the one-liners, Kelly has the facial expressions, and Ramona has the bug-eyes. Sonja and Alex have a pretty hairy luncheon to resolve their issues, and Cindy helps the ladies go from hairy to hairless during a private spa day. And G’day, Jill…she is absent this episode while traveling Down Under.

We start with Kelly Killoren Bensimon running late for a pedicure with LuAnn de Lesseps, and in typical Countess fashion, LuAnn has to let her friend know that tardiness is not okay. “I didn’t know where to wait for you…should I wait on the corner like a hooker?” Oh LuAnn. You and your one-liners. While the ladies’ feet are pampered, they discuss LuAnn’s new boyfriend, Ross Gellar, um, Jacques and how Kelly is ready to find love, but trust issues make it harder for her. I would think her facial expressions would take a backseat to trust issues when interfering with finding Mr. Right, but what do I know. LuAnn invites Kelly to a wine-filled speed dating event hosted by Jacques, who is “in the wine distribution business”–aka what commoners consider “sales.”

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The fourth season of the Real Housewives of New York City premiered last night without the show’s break out star Bethenny Frankel, bringing us to the question – Was Bethenny missed? Well, an answer to that below but one thing was clear from watching the premiere, which is that some of the ladies clearly had an agenda set for this season.

Judging from the premiere, it appears that Jill Zarin will spend the entire season trying to convince us she is a changed woman except she is still the same and nastier than ever, while Kelly Bensimon badly wants us to believe she is sane – a hard task to prove when you’re bat sh*t insane. With that said, let’s get right to the recap!

The show begins with most of the housewives having new taglines in their opening credits. “Good or bad, I know who I am and I own it,” declares Jill. Um no you don’t. “I’ve always had opinions. Now people know it,” states Alex having discovered last season that voicing said opinions gets you more face time on TV. “I’m living the American dream one mistake at a time,” says Kelly. I don’t speak crazy so I won’t even attempt to decode what that means.

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