Last night on Real Housewives of New York the ladies continued to terrorize Montana like a plague. The beautiful surroundings of wild Montana shrank beneath the force of their bickering, bad behavior, and crying orgasms. And Cowboy Paul stroked his gun lovingly and thought, thank goodness I've got this to protect me in the apocalypse.
In the luxury accommodations, Tweedle Drunk and Tweedle Do Me are bored and suffering from cabin fever. Carole Radziwill is suffering from being too long in the asylum – serves her right for trying to observe crazies in their native environment. To assuage her boredom Sonja Morgan invites the sexy (and very young) ranch hand over to clean out the kitchen while she swans around in a negligee swatting at him with a toilet brush. I am positive she molested him by the seductive light of the fridge. Carole lost her breakfast.
Sonja is bitter that they'll be spending another night at the ranch instead of out in the town sizing up the locals – there could be hot and swarthy cowboys ready for a Mrs. Robinson adventure with a big city gal. Sonja apparently thinks Reese Weather-spoon is out there, just waiting to have fun. Instead Kristen Taekman has planned a chef to come and make dinner for the girls. Sonja is over personal chefs – she does this everyday! With what budget? I wasn't aware that Groupon offered this?
Ramona Singer has been very brave this summer – she left the Hamptons for a vacation to St. Barths with husband Mario Singer in an effort to save their marriage. Ramona filed for divorce from Mario when it emerged that he was having an affair, however a few months later she let her husband move back in after he promised to ditch mistress Kasey Dexter.
Kasey retaliated by going to the press with steamy stories about Mario and details about their relationship. Mario and Ramona have tried to silence her with cease and desist letters, but Kasey won't back down. And since it's probably all true they can't legally sue for slander! In an effort to rebuild their marriage the couple was supposed to be on a romantic vacation, but instead they're arguing over Ramona's drinking! Too much turtle time
Witnesses say Ramona was really hitting the pinot over dinner the night before and got a little out of control. “Ramona and Mario were at the pool on Sunday afternoon, and he was very upset that she had had over indulged at dinner Saturday night,” a source told Radar Online. “Specifically, according to Mario, Ramona had too much to drink."
Admittedly, I do this every time a newbie joins a franchise. I fall in major like with the fresh face only to come back and bite my words a few seasons later. Real Housewives of New York is no different. I love Kristen Taekman. I adore that she's friends with Carole Radziwill and (Holla!) Heather Thomson. She's even a good sport with LuAnn deLesseps (who I like more now that she's in smaller doses) and Sonja Morgan. Best of all? She finds Aviva Drescher to be a total nut job…and, truth be told, I was quite the Aviva fan her freshman season. Hey, at least I realize my shortcomings, right?
Beginning her Bravo blog, Kristen jokes, "Yup, the 'new girl' is taking all these fancy NY Ladies to Montana. Naturally, Carole and I need a wax. Funny, so Carole and I spoke that morning and go figure, we both had waxes that day at the same place so we decided to go together! Don't all girlfriends go to hold their friend's hands while they get their kitty waxed? Ha ha! I roll in wax for real. I wax everything! Arms, legs, mustache, brows, kitty…TMI I know — but after all, this is a reality show! So we are waxed and ready for Montana! PS. Carole is a natural blonde who knew?? #shhhhhhhh" Bwahahaha! TMI, Kristen. T.M.I.
Aviva Drescher has gone from sort of amusingly unhinged to absolutely deranged on this season of Real Housewives of New York. From her father George's antics, to fighting with everyone, Avicious needs to use her newly-minted inhaler to take several deep breaths and get ahold of herself.
After arguing with Kristen Taekman about the validity of her asthma in this week's episode, Aviva is ranting in her Bravo blog about what a horrible person Kristen is. Be ready – it's um… Avicious!
Aviva begins by insulting Kristen's husband, the highly contemptible Josh, and continues by insulting pretty much everything else about Kristen.
Last night on Real Housewives of New York the ladies headed to the wild, wild west in Montana. Kristen Taekman organized the trip and like the over-eager rookie she is, she expected everyone to be jumping with glee at the prospect of spending a week at a dude ranch far, far away from any actual dudes. Now you know Sonja T. Morgan was going through withdrawal something terrible – something that even a pair of cotton granny panties couldn't cure.
Before the ladies left Aviva Drescherdecided she needed a little attention. Because you know – Meviva. Aviva had suddenly came down with a rampant case of asthma. She's allergic to horses, and hay, and long plane rides with women she does not like, and best-selling books, and being away from Saint Reid, savoir of upper east side princesses with daddy issues. Clearly Aviva is not allergic to asses – I mean she's able to be around George.
Trying to keep up the charade, Sonja has been claiming that she actually sold the property but court papers prove otherwise! Sonja was attempting to liquidate the property for $8 million to settle the $7 million dollar judgment against her, but it failed to sell. The court then decided she wasn't making a serious effort and took matters into their own hands.
And this is why you don't mess with Ramona Singer. I kid, I kid, but the Real Housewives of New York star is still embroiled in all the craziness of her husband's "alleged" affair with a girl named Kasey Dexter. And Kasey is all about making sure that everyone knows what a dog Mario Singer has been in the meantime. Can you blame her?
Ramona and Mario are all about presenting a united front when it comes to denying Mario's extra-curricular relationship. Unfortunately for Mario, his paramour didn't get the memo.