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Rob Mariano Reality Show


On this week’s Survivor, “A Mystery Package,” the Murlonio tribe reigns supreme as the final two Zapatera members, former NFL player Steve Wright and farmer (and my favorite) Ralph Kiser, are sent packing for Redemption Island. Puppetmaster Boston Rob Mariano continues to pull the strings which will likely ensure him a spot in the finale, seeing as his minions can’t think for themselves.

Last week, Julie’s flame was extinguished, but not before she admitted to burying Federal Agent (?) Phillip’s shorts where they will never be found. Fortunately, the “mystery package” was not the viewers having to watch Phillip tool around in his pink tighty-whiteys (tighty-pinkys?) for the entire episode–this undercover specialist has a dream in which his grandfather comes to him and leads him to his missing shorts. Lo and behold, he actually finds the spot, digs and digs, and retrieves his shorts. Thankfully. He can’t wait to face Julie wearing said shorts, and compares it to a scene from A Few Good Men. “You know what I want to say to Julie? What did Jack Nicholson say to Tom Cruise? ‘You can’t STAND the truth.’” Eh, close enough, Phillip.

Matt, Mike and Julie make the trek over from Redemption Island to see who will be second loser the next member of the jury. Matt admits that he feels at peace, and if God thinks it’s his time to go home, he’s ready to leave. He glances quickly (and not too kindly) at that chick who threw him under the bus Andrea, who later remarked that it seemed like he gave her a dirty look, but she could be reading into it. Yeah, that’s it. The three compete in a battle to the death, or “shuffleboard” as the geriatrics call it. Sadly, Julie just can’t slide the disk across the board, so puck it, she’s the newest addition to the jury.

Andrea feels some guilt for breaking Matt’s spirit “on a human level, not on a game level” (thanks for the clarification), which causes her Ometepe buddies to question her loyalty in the event Matt comes back from Redemption Island. With that in mind, the cast heads to a log roll competition for the immunity challenge and reward–chocolate cake and ice-cold milk. After two nail-biting rounds of the castaways tap dancing on a log, Grant Mattos and Ralph are left to vie for immunity. Grant wins, inviting Boston Rob to sit next to him in the cafeteria and braid his hair join him for cake. He also shares his loot with Andrea in hopes of making her feel secure before her tribe turns against her and throws her under the bus.

Jeff Probst gives the remaining group a “mystery package” which is a twist that will be revealed at Tribal Council. I can’t help but wonder if Jeff didn’t just wrap up a brick to mess with these folks. Steve tries to get the Ometepe girls to join him and Ralph in their attempt to vote off Boston Rob. Ralph, through the magic of subtitles, believes he will be voted off. (I LOVE him. Being from the South, I sometimes wish I had someone translating for me a good bit of the time.) Smart cookie, that Ralph.

At Tribal Council, Ralph is voted off to no one’s surprise. However, the “mystery package” is opened and (HOLY TWIST!!) there will be an immediate immunity challenge followed by another vote, giving the crew no time to discuss alliances. This must have been the retirement home episode, because after the riveting game of shuffle board, this immunity challenge is basically a dumbed down “Simon Says” with camping images printed on tiles. Boston Rob wins immunity, and the lone Zapatera Steve goes to join Ralph on Redemption Island.

I highly doubt veteran Boston Rob will be going anywhere anytime soon. I mean, if so, who will be around to pull the strings of his tribe members? Not everyone can form a clique as easily as a 10th grade mean girl, so I have to give Rob major props. And in the event he is voted off soon? Fear not, folks…he’s covered.

After four seasons of Survivor and two seasons of Amazing Race (with wife and fellow Survivor winner Amber), Rob is teaming up with monster truck guru Dennis Anderson. People.com reports that the two “will challenge each other to circumnavigate the globe using 80 different methods of transportation with the caveat that each cannot repeat any way twice” in the History Channel’s new series, Around the World in 80 Ways. Rob cites his time on Amazing Race as fueling his love of travel. The appeal of this show, however, takes a unique approach. Rob reveals, “Around the World in 80 Ways is completely different from anything I’ve done before in that this show will be a celebration of transportation throughout history.” While Rob admits he will miss his wife and young daughters (and hopes that none of the modes of travel will cause claustrophobia), he is very excited to begin this new adventure. I wonder what kind of strings he’ll be pulling then…

TELL US – THOUGHTS ON LAST NIGHT’S SURVIVOR & THE RECAP? ARE ROB’S MINIONS THE WORST PLAYERS TO PLAY THE GAME?

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