So did anyone change the channel from the Golden Globes to tune into Sister Wives? I think Kody Brown’s hair could have trumped any of the celebrity manes on the red carpet!
Last night was yet another road trip with the Browns to–you guessed it–meet another polygamist family! We also learn that the latest lady to move into the cul-de-sac compound is Christine’s mom. Mykelti is clearly her mother’s daughter when it comes to enthusiasm, and Janelle is nervous about returning home. After the vacation, Janelle hopes to speak to Meri about their tumultuous past. The family’s first stop is at their friend’s polygamy museum. Of course it is. Kody plans to hit him up for a business loan for My Sister Wife’s Closet. Kody asks for about $100,000, but his friend wants collateral for the loan. Perhaps Robyn would suffice? I just don’t see how that tacky jewelry inventory is worth securing that amount of money.
So two hours of Sister Wives, anyone? One hundred twenty minutes of Kody Brown’s mane. Thankfully, last night’s episode starts with everyone preparing for Mykelti and Madison’s graduations. The girls go to different schools so there will be double the opportunity for Meri to make a scene at the ceremonies. Christine compares Mykelti’s nest leaving to that of daughter Aspyn who she believes was more prepared for the transition. Madison, on the other hand, can’t wait to high tail it out of Las Vegas and head to college in her former home state of Utah. Janelle promises that she won’t turn into a sappy mom (ahem, Meri) as her daughter packs her room.
With everyone wondering about Robyn’s pregnancy (she did look pretty pregnant last season), she has her own little sofa session where she admits that Aspyn asked if she was pregnant while the family was watching the slide show featured on last season’s finale. After Aspyn approached her, more and more family members inquired as to whether she was having a baby. Well, we can stop the bump watch, folks! Robyn states that she is too busy with My Sister Wives Closet to even think about having another child…at least at the moment.
I know y’all are waiting with baited breath for the new season of Sister Wives to premiere tonight on TLC. You’ve missed Kody Brown’s luscious locks, haven’t you? Admit it! Not to mention, there have been teasers galore about a new lady joining the Brown clan. Whoever could it be?
Spoiler alert: it’s me! Don’t I wish? I’d love to put Meri’s wet bar to actual use (seriously, why did she need that thing?) and take a crack at writing their family mission statement. Kidding! I wouldn’t last a day in that red clay cul-de-sac compound! So who could this mystery woman be?
How are we already at the end of the Sister Wives’ season? It’s reunion time, and Tamron Hall is hosting Kody Brown, his hair, and his four wives, and she is such a class act. Right off the bat, she revisits Meri’s decision to get a wet bar go back to college and Kody’s stick straight locks in the scene. Geez, it’s horrible. Kody is supportive of his first wife’s plan, but Robyn is just a ball of fun when she learns the news. The sighing and the jaw clenching is intense. Meri is tearing up just watching the playback of the situation. Robyn tries to clarify that she didn’t feel betrayed, but she did feel ditched. She doesn’t want Meri to find better friends outside of the family…um, these women aren’t friends. Christine thinks that Meri heading back to school is the best thing for Meri. Since Mariah left, Christine feels that Meri has disengaged, and fulfilling herself through college will be just what she needs to find happiness.
Next we go back to the time that Kody pounded on his chest and talked about hormone swapping through make-out sessions with Mykelti and her now former boyfriend. Kody is so proud of his little speech, and Robyn once again reminds us that pre-marital sex is bad, bad, bad. Christine loves that Kody makes kissing sound gross to potential suitors. Tamron looks perplexed by the entire conversation, and I can’t say I blame her. The topic segues to the importance of My Sister Wives’ Closet. Finally, Janelle speaks, and she looks amazing. Tamron chides Kody about his temper tantrum in the counseling appointment where he said he never got to be the leader of the family. He is constantly asking for permission from his wives and seeking a consensus. Robyn praises Kody for being a great leader. I wonder if she ever gets tired of constantly stroking his ego…
I know y’all are sad you won’t be seeing Kody Brown’s gorgeous locks, fancy side ponytail, and denim tuxedo for a while, but alas, last night was the season finale of Sister Wives. The family is back in Las Vegas, which means no more road trip hijinks or Kody shiz shows when “someone” forgets to tightly screw in the tube on the camper’s sewage valve. Ahh, memories. Instead, the season’s final episode treated us to yet another family party. These folks have to commemorate every event with a veggie tray and mission statement, that’s for sure.
The family is prepping for a slide show that chronicles the family since Kody’s wedding to Meri up through his (not recognized by law) union with Robyn. Good times! The crafy Browns are also putting together a scrapbook of their journey through the years. Robyn is thrilled because it’s the first album in which she’ll make an appearance. Self-absorbed much? Kody is strutting a blue tooth (what is this 2009?) and that horrible ponytail that makes him look like a cartoon samurai while dodging inquiries from Christine and daughter Aspyn about Robyn’s growing belly. He fumbles over a “no, she’s not pregnant, what are you talking about?” statement while grinning ear to ear. Don’t ever play poker, Kody. Really. Don’t.
Hey! Remember on last week’s Sister Wives when Kody got showered in waste at the RV park? Good times for sure! The Browns are on their way across country to meet a Christian polygamist family whose faith isn’t rooted in Mormon principles. This guy is living Kody’s dream. He once got his wife to bake for him and then complained while she was baking that she wasn’t available to cuddle. What will remedy that? Another wife! Who is this guy and how stupid are his wives?
Kody is sporting a fancier version of his usual denim button down. It’s got embroidery on it. Christine is a bit wary about driving across country to meet a family they don’t know. Janelle is happy to mingle with like-minded people. In the dark of night, the families meet, and Kody is beside himself trying to impress the cool Nathaniel Richard and his wives. From what I gather, he only has two wives. They admit to living a secret life, but the Richards share that there are a lot of plural families living in Missouri.
The Richards kids channel their best Sound of Music as they march their way through roll call. The families share a Passover meal where they celebrate (?) beasts and boils. Nathaniel is only thirty-three, and the Brown wives remember just how bright-eyed and idealistic Kody was at his age. From what I gather, the Richard family won’t be getting a spin-off any time soon. They aren’t hip even by Meri standards, and one of the wives is sporting a straight-up banana clip. Someone get this lady a scrunchie so we can at least bring her into the early 90s!
Oh y'all. Last night's Sister Wives was the vacation from hell! Can you imagine trekking halfway across the United States with Kody Brown at the helm of your RV? Would you rather ride shotgun if Meri or Robyn were driving? Even Janelle and Christine seemed to be a bit weary about the two RVs and a twelve passenger van. All of this chaos to meet some Christian polygamists. The teenagers are upset about missing spring break with their friends, and Kody is going from house to house trying to pack his stuff. Before heading out of town, Kody's hair leads a business meeting for My Sister Wives' Closet. Robyn is irritated that the investors have yet to fund their business. It's been eight weeks since they were promised the money. What's the hold up? How are they going to pay to rent the RVs? Everyone seems to be dreading this vacation. Even Kody admits to feeling anxious.
Somehow, Kody has convinced his niece Cindy to join the crew–and drive! Is she being punished for something? Meri will also be behind the wheel. Kody is believes his teenagers are going to make or break the trip. The responsible college aged kids are off the hook and won't be traveling with the family. Kody is worried. Without Mariah, Aspyn, Mykelti, and Logan, who will actually watch the younger kids? Christine joins him in his concern. Is she going to have to watch her younger kids now? The family is only an hour behind schedule as Kody barks orders at children who aren't listening to a word he says. I'm getting stressed out by this trip already and they haven't even left the cul-de-sac compound yet!
Last night's Sister Wives focused on the teens. Kody Brown has a lot to say about his kids being in relationships, but I think all of the Brown children have good heads on their shoulders. Added bonus? We didn't have to see as much of Robynwhining or Meri complaining about her wet bar. Score!
Janelle is meeting with trainer Sean, and she's struggling with her plateau. She's ready to start losing again even though Kody has never said a word about her weight. Sean is disappointed that Janelle hasn't continued with her thirty day healthy eating challenge, and she acknowledges that she's an emotional eater and a procrastinator.
Where has the time gone? Logan is a sophomore at UNLV, and he's living with a couple who is dating. Off campus housing and a girl roommate? Props to you, Logan! Kody and his wives are very proud of Logan and they note that he doesn't come home very often. Logan is a good kid, and he admits that he's dating and socializing and hugging and kissing girls outside of marriage. Janelle trusts Logan's judgment, but Kody wishes he could impose a "no touching" rule until marriage on all of his kids.