Ryan Edwards

Last week on Teen MomTyler Baltierra tried to movtivate (pressure?) Catelynn Lowell to get ready for college, Maci Bookout, umm, did nothing, Farrah Abraham met Daniel, and Amber Portwood went home to Indiana after being in paradise (rehab?) for 60 days.

Catelynn and Tyler Take Care of April

Well, Butch is back in jail. April breaks the news to Tyler. April calls, she barely says one word, and Tyler does one of his overreactions. Sometimes, I feel like Tyler is merely playing a character that he thinks we think is cute and edearing. Anyway, according to April, Butch came by her place, looking like he was on something (you don’t say?!), and he freaked out on her. April tells Tyler she’s all brused up. Tyler texts Catelynn while she’s at work to let her know.

Catelynn visits April. April says she and Butch were just hanging out and drinking beers. Then, April’s friend called her, Butch assumed April was talking to Nick’s dad, and “one thing led to another” – April shows Catelynn the bruises on her arm and the hole from Butch smashing April’s head into the bathroom wall. The toilet is also broken. April claims Butch held a rolled up towel against her neck. April knows they shouldn’t have been together but… you know, you know. She says “you know” repeatedly. Catelynn tells April their relationship is toxic because they enable each other. April says, “But… I love him.” Then she says she hates him and starts crying.

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Last week on Teen Mom, we saw Catelynn Lowell and Tyler Baltierra deal with Butch, Maci Bookout enroll Bentley in preschool, Farrah Abraham and her sister confront Debra about her bad parenting, after Sophia hilariously painted Farrah’s poor dog hot pink, and Amber Portwood and Gary Shirley work through Amber’s continued anger issues.

Tyler Pressures Catelynn About School

Tyler and Catelynn are hanging with two friends, Drew and Starr. Starr is an odd one, offering her “taco” and “hot sauce” to the dog. Tyler lets them know Butch had to leave the trailer park. The park had the audacity to accuse him of drinking beer. Butch was like, “Oh, no! I will not have them saying I drink beer. I told them, my drug of choice is cocaine.” It’s quite shocking, actually, that they didn’t make an exception on the spot. Hell, they should have made him trailer park monitor with those credentials. So, Butch is on the loose in Detroit, and Tyler and Catelynn have been relieved of their babysitting duties. Tyler is just hoping for the best for his Pop at this point. This is the closest Butch has come to not being on parole in twenty years.

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Last night’s Teen Mom wasn’t quite as depressing as I thought it would be, so that’s a plus right?  There were other pluses too…a dog got painted, Maci finally realized Bentley needed to socialize with kids his own age, Amber decided to stick it out in rehab, and Butch reveals that he isn’t a big drinker.  Just wait.

Farrah Abraham is a Less Than Happy Hostess

Farrah’s sister Ashley is visiting her in Florida.  Her mom will be arriving in the next few days for a visit.  Farrah reveals that she and Sophia have a more better place to live in Florida than she ever had at her mom’s house.  Yes, yes, Farrah.  It’s way more better.  How’s school?

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Last week on Teen Mom, we saw Catelynn Lowell and Tyler Baltierra welcome home Butch, Maci Bookout crash Bentley’s vacation with his dad, Farrah Abraham try dating, and Amber Portwood and Gary Shirley get therapy.

Catelynn’s Unfortunate Fashion Choices

If you blinked, grabbed a snack, or called Iowa to warn them Farrah was on the way, you probably missed Catelynn‘s contribution to this episode.

Butch announces he’s off to find a job.  That’s the end of the Butch scenes, which is a darn shame.  Next week’s previews show Butch flabbergasted that somebody ran a background check on him, so he’s either having issues finding employment or he’s heading back to the slammer.

Catelynn’s grandmother comes for a visit.  While she’s there, Catelynn and Tyler‘s adoption counselor Dawn calls to invite them to attend an adoption support group meeting.  I was really hoping Catelynn’s grandmother and Dawn were setting Catelynn up, and instead of  support group, they were whisking her away to What Not To Wear.

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Last week on MTV‘s Teen Mom, we saw Catelynn Lowell and Tyler Baltierra graduate, Maci Bookout invite herself on the Edward’s family vacation with Bentley, Farrah Abraham adopt a puppy, and Amber Portwood and Gary Shirley contemplate the future of their relationship.

It was mind numbing – at best.

This week must be the Teen Mom beach special.  With the exception of Catelynn and Tyler, who are busy caring for their new bundle of joy, all of the crazy kids, plus adult Farrah, are at the beach.

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Thankfully, Teen Mom wasn’t nearly as depressing this week. Last week’s premiere of Teen Mom was a train wreck.  This week, instead of weeping like a fool, I sat completely dumbfounded.   These girls have come so far yet have gone nowhere.  How is that possible? I spent the bulk of the hour resisting the urge to bang my own head against a wall.

At least the super adorable and maturing (someone has to, right?) toddlers bring a new aspect to the show.  Too bad we can’t just watch them and skip their parents.  Let’s pitch ‘Dr. Drew’s Daycare’ to MTV.

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I just hit play on the first episode of the last season of the first Teen Mom.  Did you get all of that?  It’s bittersweet.  While I hardly think being on this show is healthy for Maci Bookout, Farrah Abraham, Amber Portwood, or Catelynn Lowell, I’m going to miss the show.

I’m holding onto the knowledge that Barbara, Jenelle Evan’s always amusing mom, will be back on my TV soon enough on Teen Mom 2.  As long as I have Barbara in my life, I think I’ll be able to cope without Teen Mom.  If Teen Mom 2 ever is canceled, I’m going to need therapy to learn how to go on with my life. Take a deep breath, grab the tissues, and let’s start the beginning of the end.

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No, no, no! Corey’ Simms‘ camo hat seems to be prohibiting rational thoughts from coming out of that noggin of his!

The current issue of Us Weekly has those close to the jilted Teen Dad–whose wife of six months Leah Messer confessed to cheating on him a week before they were married–speculating that he wants her back! The couple’s divorce was highlighted on the final episodes of this season’s Teen Mom 2 after Leah spilled the infidelity beans, claiming Corey wouldn’t have sex with her in the weeks leading up to their wedding. Well, if that is the case, her cheating must have been justified! #dumbestexcuseever

The pair’s divorce was finalized in June of last year, with Leah jumping straight into another relationship, another cohabitation, and another engagement rather quickly with new beau Jeremy Calvert. Leah even tragically suffered a miscarriage after getting pregnant by Jeremy. However, none of this information seems to dissuade Corey from wanting to reconcile with the mother of his twin daughters.

A “friend” of his explains to the magazine, “Corey is still crazy for Leah. He doesn’t want her to marry Jeremy.”

Another source laments, “He did all he could to make it work, as she’s the only girl he ever loved.”

Said source must also be a mutual friend of Leah’s, because he/she believes that Corey’s hopes are a lost cause, sharing, “Leah will always care about Corey, but she’s happy with Jeremy. Watching this season made her relive their problems.” Their problems. Could “their problems” have something to do with the fact that Leah cheated on her groom-to-be and then blamed the demise of their marriage on him not wanting to buy a new trailer? Nah, probably different problems…

Not so fast there, Lauren! Apparently Leah has amped up her “no sex before the wedding is a valid reason to cheat” excuse to include–dum da dum dum–porn! Specifically, Corey was watching porn instead of bedding his fiance. Now, I don’t know about you, dear readers, but I am shocked and appalled. Corey watches porn? Corey, the young twenty-something male who didn’t want a trailer upgrade and needed subtitles, watches porn? If she had told me he read classic novels until late into the night so he was too tired for sexy time or even that his Sudoku addiction interfered with his libido, I’d believe her…but porn? That’s a stretch.

In a sneak peek video posted below, the couple is seen discussing their sex life (or apparently lack thereof) with Dr. Drew in a premiere for tomorrow night’s final episode. While Corey claims the pair had a very active and normal sex life, Leah maintains that he wasn’t very affectionate towards her in the weeks leading up to their wedding due to all the porn he was watching.

“I felt like you was looking at her, and thinking…I mean, I kinda felt like that was cheating,” Leah tells Corey during the Drew-led conversation. Eh, maybe, but not as much cheating as actually having intercourse with someone other than your partner. But that’s just me.

Enough on the second installment of Teen Moms, the original Teen Moms need some attention too! Realityweeklymagazine.com is reporting that Corey isn’t the only one from the franchise chasing down an old flame. Apparently, Maci Bookout has her sights set on ex-boyfriend and baby daddy Ryan Edwards in light of her recent break-up with long-time love Kyle King. You recall that the pair didn’t make it after alleged pressure on Kyle from Maci to marry her ASAP. Of course, does anyone think that Maci was ever really over Bentley’s dad?

Yet another “source” close to the young mom reveals, “He’s always been the one. She’s still in love with Ryan. A part of it is definitely the chemistry — she thinks he’s really hot.”

Ahh, young love. I wonder if these girls will ever learn that being “hot” isn’t the most important building block in a healthy, stable relationship. Probably not.

The conclusion of Teen Mom 2 airs tonight on MTV at 10 PM ET.

DO YOU THINK COREY REALLY WANTS TO RECONCILE WITH LEAH? WILL THE TWO GET BACK TOGETHER? THOUGHTS ON HIS PORN WATCHING LEADING TO HER CHEATING? WAS MACI EVER REALLY OVER RYAN?

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