Two months ago, ABC announced the cast of Bachelor in Paradise. But… shocker! They didn’t give us the full scoop. At the time, I agreed with Reality Steve, who said there were definitely more cast members to be revealed.
There simply weren’t enough of the Bachelorand Bachelorette fame whores we’ve all come to appreciate. Or something. Well, ABC has since revealed the entire cast list, as well as details on how the new reality show will work.
Per ABC: “Bachelor in Paradise begins with 14 former cast members, eight women and six men, who travel to beautiful Tulum, Mexico hoping to turn a potential summer fling into the real thing. However, in true Bachelor fashion, there is always a surprise.”
ABC has announced the cast ofBachelor in Paradise – well, there are some familiar faces, though not as many old schoolBachelor Pad fame whores as I was expecting, and some not-so-familiar faces. I honestly had to look up two of the "biggest stars" because I couldn't remember who they are.
Per the press release: "Some of Bachelor's biggest stars and villains are back. They all left theBachelor or theBachelorettewith broken hearts, but now they know what it really takes to find love, and on Bachelor in Paradise they'll get a second chance to find their soul mates."
As always, it's two hours of engaging video recaps, heartfelt bachelorette retells, and passionate audience reactions all centered around Sean Lowe. Errr, when I say engaging, heartfelt, and passionate, I really mean repetitive, catty, and obnoxious.
Eighteen of Sean's rejected bachelorettes – Diana Willardson, Ashley Palenkas, Brooke Burchette, Daniella McBride, Amanda Meyer, Jackie Parr, Kacie Boguskie, Leslie Hughes, Kristy Kaminski, Taryn Daniels, Katie Levans, Robyn Howard, Sarah Herron, Selma Alameri, Lesley Murphy, AshLee Frazier, Tierra LiCausi, and Desiree Hartsock – show up for the event.
It's day two of the special two day Bachelor event, and Sean Lowe and his nine bachelorettes – AshLee, Selma, Catherine, Desiree, Daniella, Lesley, Lindsay, Sarah, and Tierra – are in Canada. Day one of the special two day Bachelor event was a complete disaster – mostly thanks to Tierrable Tierra.
While the catty girl drama in Montana left Sean feeling uneasy about this amazing journey to find love, he's hoping to get back on track this week. You keep telling yourself that, Sean, and I'll keep admiring the stunning backdrop that is Canada. Lesley thinks Lake Louise screams romance. I'm pretty sure Lake Louise is actually screaming, "What did I do to deserve this mockery?"
Chris Harrison announces that there will be one group date, two one-on-one dates, and a rose up for grabs on each date. When the first date card arrives, the girls recap the season thus far, realizing that Catherine, Daniella, and Tierra have yet to have their own dates with Sean. The first date card is addressed to Catherine and reads "let's find our fairy tale ending."
If I never hear Chris Harrison say special two day Bachelor event again… it will be too soon… seriously. Oh, by the way, have you heard about the special two day Bachelor event? It's an exciting and momentous event that serves as a kick off to the bachelorettes "worldwide journey to find love" with Sean Lowe.
This rip-roaring journey begins in Montana… where it's too cold for Sean to be half naked… how am I supposed to take this special two day Bachelor event seriously when Sean is wearing a shirt? I don't think I can. You've been warned.
So, Sean and his bachelorettes are off to Montana, where everyone wears flannel plaid and there will be a one-on-one date, a group date, and a two-on-one date. Sean says, "I'm an outdoorsy type of guy, and I love to get out and camp or canoe, so Montana is definitely going to test some of the women."
Ah, there he is! Bachelor Sean Lowe goes into this week's dates with "trust" in mind, which totally comes in handy during his first one-on-one date. The date card goes to Selma and reads "let's turn up the heat." Sean's plan is to take the "glamorous girl" out of her element to see how she reacts. Good times.
Less than impressed by their final destination, Selma says, "I got the limo. I got the jet. And then he took the Iraqi to a desert. I do not do well in the heat. At all. I'm so disappointed." The desert location is Joshua Tree National Park and the activity is rock climbing. The glamor girl complains about this not-so-fabulous date. Despite her fear of heights and heat-induced puffiness, Selma climbs the rock like a champ! She's proud of herself and Sean's impressed.
Oh, Sean Lowe works out? I almost forgot. While glistening with sweat and annoying homely husbands across America, the Bachelor shares, "One week into it, I find myself really digging a lot of women." Only Sean knows which ones but the possibilities include Sarah, Kacie, Desiree, AshLee, Lindsay, Robyn, Jackie, Lesley, Selma, Catherine, Kristy, Leslie, Tierra, Taryn, Daniella, and Amanda. One of these women could (but probably won't) be Sean's future wife.
Chris Harrison arrives on the scene of the crazy to deliver the first date card. It's addressed to Lesley and reads, "How long will this love last?" Lesley is excited and goes on and on about dreams coming true and taking her relationship with Sean to the next level.
Sean brings Lesley to the Guinness World Records Museum. Lesley isn't too impressed, saying, "I'm thinking, um, this could be fun, but if I could have picked any place… I really didn't think we'd be coming to the Guinness World Records." Poor Lesley… a waste of a good (albeit way too short) dress is always tragic.