Scheana Marie

James

It’s a topsy-turvy world out there in SUR and last night’s Vanderpump Rules dove into its favorite subjects – cheating and Lisa Vanderpump‘s fabulosity!

Is there anything more confusing than a woman who is not only willing to have sex with James Kennedy, but do the sex in essentially a cot in the corner of his dorm room? Oh yes, there IS something more confusing – that this woman is willing to admit this sex on national television! The bright lights of LVP‘s sparkles reflected by Bravo cameras can cause a girl to lose her mind!

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Mike Shay and Scheana Marie Shay

Mike Shay has friends in high places (sarcasm alert) who are putting his soon to be ex-wife Scheana Marie on blast.

After Scheana and Shay got married on Vanderpump Rules, their relationship completely deteriorated. Mike has battled Scheana‘s narcissism, shrine to forever bridezilla, his sobriety, and her unorthodox use of tampons. Following a second? third? honeymoon, he reportedly cleaned out their checking account and fled the moment his wife turned her back to serve a crispy chicken salad.

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vpr-scheana-shay-intervention

I feel naive saying this, but I was surprised when I heard about Scheana Marie Shay and Mike Shay filing for divorce. Yes, I remember the couple dealing with Shay’s addiction last season on Vanderpump Rules, but I figured they would try to work through it – at least for a little bit longer than this.

There have been quite a few rumors about the Shays recently. It was reported that Shay ran away and took Scheana’s money, but Shay adamantly denied that story and proclaimed his love for his wife in a strongly worded Instagram post. It seemed like it was all good, but clearly that was not the case. Now I’m wondering what we will get to see on the current Vanderpump Rules season.

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Shay and Scheana Intervention

I could not help wondering where Scheana Marie Shay’s husband Mike Shay has been during first few episodes of the current Vanderpump Rules season (other than a 10 second blip at the apartment warming party). Their marriage issues and Mike’s struggle with sobriety took center stage last year, so the absence of their relationship from this season (so far) was very conspicuous. Well maybe that was some foreshadowing because Scheana just filed for divorce from Shay.

Damn. I feel naive saying this, but I was actually pretty surprised by this news. Maybe I’m the only one, but you know what they say, “hindsight is 20/20” and it’s very easy to look for “evidence” pointing to a split when it’s after the fact. But then again, Shay did supposedly go missing and take Scheana’s money recently- which Shay later denied in an emphatic Instagram post. So who knows what to believe, but the soon-to-be exes did confirm the divorce news.

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Scheana Marie Shay

I used to root for Katie Maloney to come out of Stassi Schroeder‘s shadow on Vanderpump Rules, but now that she has, she’s getting the mean girl edit as the new leader of the clique. Katie, Stassi, and Kristen Doute do not like LaLa Kent and they never have. So obviously they want to ostracize her to the point where it wouldn’t make sense for her to be in the cast and they can get LaLa off of (what they perceive to be) their show. And you know that squad was not going to tolerate Scheana Marie Shay being friendly with LaLa.

I can see why they wouldn’t want their friend to be friends with a woman that they have declared to be an enemy – but come on, LaLa is a SUR hostess and Scheana is a waitress, so they have to communicate every single time they’re at the restaurant. Why wouldn’t they just try to be pleasant when they interact? It doesn’t mean they have to be best friends, or even be friends at all, but having a civil rapport sounds better than being miserable every single shift. But maybe I’m just being too logical about this since Scheana seems to disagree.

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Scheana

High school… these problems matter! These people are in high school like the original cast of 90210 were. Meaning the “kids” on Vanderpump Rules are 30 going on 13, and it’s ridiculous.

Last night, Katie Maloney, Bridezilla of West Hollywood (she may actually just be straight up Godzilla at this point because she does seem to think she’s God), demanded Scheana Marie never, ever have an opinion contrary to Katie’s, like, ever again, and if Scheana does like ever, ever, ever deign to think for herself, she will be dumped like room temperature white wine.

Katie is the one who needs to be bumped – by Tom 2 and everyone else. She and Stassi Schroeder deserve each other.

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Tom and Jax

Vanderpump Rules is having some sort of quarter life crisis. While Stassi Schroeder is playing the adoring sycophant, Katie Maloney is attempting to reinvent herself as season 1 and 2 Stassi. It’s a piss-poor imitation though because Katie lacks the razor-sharp edge and sheer cunning wit required to pull off Stassi-ness, not to mention Katie lacks the conviction with which Stassi conducted herself as empress of the skirtsteaks. Also Katie doesn’t own a statement necklace which is like the scrunchie of SUR.

Katie is a mere “Fetch,” trying to force herself to happen as the leader of the SUR tribe, except she’s nothing but a sheep in wolf’s clothing. And she needs to give Stassi back her fur.

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bravo-pump-rules-tom-schwartz

If you’re easily grossed out, you might want to skip tonight’s episode of Vanderpump Rules! Or at least don’t have steak for dinner before watching it (you definitely won’t want steak for a while after watching it…).  Tonight Tom Schwartz dishes up some revenge to Jax Taylor and Tom Sandoval and it’s gag-inducing, but brings him a whole lot of joy. We’ll leave it at that and not spoil it for you.

Also on tonight’s episode, Katie Maloney asks Stassi, Scheana, and Kristen Doute to be her bridesmaids. Katie excludes Ariana Madix from her list of chosen ones because she’s upset that Ariana is still talking to Lala Kent.  Katie later questions her decision to include Scheana when she’s seen being friendly to Lala.