Scheana Marie

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The only two sane people left on Vanderpump Rules, Tom Sandoval and Ariana Madix, were Andy‘s guests tonight on Watch What Happens Live. They covered a variety of topics, including Lala Kent, James Kennedy, Scheana Marie‘s mystery man and more!

Andy plays clips from Kristen Doute‘s comedy sketch and asks Ariana for her thoughts. She very diplomatically says, “I think it’s cool when people work hard on their thing and put it out there. It’s a harsh world out there, so there’s going to be some positive and there’s going to be some negative opinions.”

Stassi Schroeder

During a recent episode of Watch What Happens Live, Andy Cohen was doing what he could to set up Stassi Schroeder with Timber Creek Lodge star Mark Milburn. And to be honest, it really didn’t seem like he was off base. They’re both attractive Bravo stars and they had a lot of matching answers when Andy quizzed them on various dating preferences. So did they actually end up going out?

It would be pretty cool if Stassi and Mark ended up dating, especially since Andy set up Jenny McCarthy and Donnie Wahlberg during an episode of WWHL and they are now happily married. Plus, it’s rare for Stassi to be single, so I feel like it’s not going to last for long. Still, even though they had a lot of the same answers during Andy’s game, that might not do it for Stassi. She seems to be pretty picky, but then again she dated Jax Taylor for years, so what the hell am I talking about?

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Stassi in Montak

On last night’s Vanderpump Rules, we learned that Stassi Schroeder‘s problems with men run deep. Like down in the beautiful, briny sea deep. She’s also being strangled in turtleneck-form by her own ill-advised hubris.

Now, I must do a disclaimer with this recap: Do not expect my usual greatness of prose mixed with pearls of wisdom, as I have the worst cold I have ever had in my human existence. And I feel like garbage. Like what Tequila Katie (minus Tom 2) may smear on Scheana Marie‘s overly-contoured face.

Can we talk about Scheana? Ho-ly does that girl need a ‘stink face’ removal procedure. Didn’t anyone warn her that her face will freeze that way if she makes a poop face immediately after getting Botox? I mean, I get it – she has a hard-earned summer body to protect, but lighten up and eat a lil’ clam. I hear Kristen Doute loves them.

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Tonight’s Watch What Happens Live guests were Vanderpump Rules stars Scheana Marie and Stassi Schroeder. Scheana was a good sport and answered a lot of questions about her split with Mike Shay and her dating status – and those rumors of dating Mike Comrie. Stassi defended herself, denying that she dictates who her friends can hang with.

When called a buzzkill on the Montauk trip, Scheana says “Seeing it now all edited together, definitely. At the time I thought it was just a no here and a no there, but yeah, sorry.” Stassi says, “it was a no everywhere.” Scheana apologizes.

Ariana & Brittany in Sonoma

Last night’s Vanderpump Rules featured dueling birthday trips – one made no attempt to be classy and the other pretended to be something they’re not.

First up, Ariana Madix grabbed the Toms and Jax Taylor for an RV trek around Sonoma Wine Country, which ground to a halt at a NASCAR track for wieners and wienies. The wienie being Tom 1 who whined and cried – in front of Ariana’s brother no less – that Ariana doesn’t find his man bun and overall short-alls attractive enough to f–k. The poor Toms – it seems they have something in common, in that their ladies would rather do anything but them.

But first there was the drama over The Missing Lala.

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Scheana Marie Celebrates New Year's Eve

Happy 2017 – here’s a selfie! All of your favorite reality stars rang in the New Year and celebrated New Year’s Day with plenty of vacations, antics, and social media sharing.

Above, Vanderpump Rules star Scheana Marie, who just filed for divorce from her husband Mike Shay, is ready to start fresh in 2017 with a big F-U to 2016.

Below, see photos from Caroline Stanbury, Melissa Gorga, new Celebrity Apprentice star Snooki, Tamra Judge and Shannon Beador – who celebrated together – Julianne Hough, and more!

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Lisa fires James again

Get your Tom + Katie tea towels ready to clean up the muck that has become Vanderpump Rules!

Recovering from Christmas and an ultimate cookie binge, the last thing I’m in the mood for is whining from Katie Maloney and Stassi Schroeder. But, alas, I am nothing if not a consummate professional, so I have wrenched myself from the sluggish glut of a living room filled with wrapping paper (how many calories does wading through wrapping paper burn?) to complete this recap. Happy holidays! Katie just blew her life savings on $18.00 custom tea towels, and her life now consists of hatefully glaring at Tom Schwartz while folding said towels into cardboard boxes, wrapping the whole thing with twine, and mailing it. In case you were wondering wtf: that’s her wedding invite.

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Vanderpump Rules returns tonight with an all new episode, filled with mean girls and medical issues. If you missed last week’s episode, catch up here with the recap.

Jax Taylor goes under the knife again, this time to have some work done on his chest. Jax developed gynecomastia, which he blames on taking too many supplements.  He wants to be clear that it’s not a “breast reduction” and says this condition is common with body builders.