Our first look at the Vanderpump Rules reunion is here. Bravo promises that everything from “scandalous hookups” and “cheating accusations” to “wild wedding festivities” will be argued about ad nauseam covered at the Season 5 reunion, which Andy Cohen said was “intense.”
Look below for pictures and a breakdown of the three-part reunion. Yes, three parts, because apparently season five was a hit with viewers. <blank stare> I personally thought that this was the worst season yet, but Bravo claims that this season of Vanderpump Rules is “on track to deliver its highest rated season ever” with a reported average of 2.4 million viewers.
I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I was actually pretty moved by Katie Maloney and Tom Schwartz wedding. I know we didn’t even get to the actual vows part yet, but it was so sweet when Jax Taylor and Tom Sandoval surprised Schwartz by flying out his triplet brothers to attend the wedding.
It was really nice, but a lot of the viewers were so confused by the couple spending so much money on towel invitations and flower arrangements instead of paying for his family to attend the event. Still, this is a way nicer criticism than the hate the couple has faced all season in response to their drunken arguments.
The countdown is finally over! We Vanderpump Rules watchers have finally arrived at the inevitable nuptials of two people so solely unhappy together it’s almost not funny. So, yes, last night was the debut of Katie Maloney‘s wedding gown and it was even worse than Scheana Marie‘s. But the biggest shock was that Tom 2 actually seemed happy to be getting married. That’s a change!
Tom and Katie spent $51,000 on a wedding in someone’s backyard next to the train tracks, yet Tom couldn’t afford to fly his family out to attend. Only his mom, Kim, the object of Jax Taylor‘s wanton obsession, has made it. Thus far anyway. I guess Jax imagines that Kim is a woman who knows how to make a turkey sandwich?
Anyway, call me confused but wouldn’t you factor ‘flying family to wedding’ into your budget above $10,000 worth of flowers, or a $4,000 Tacky Tuesday rehearsal dinner? Was Tom 2 too afraid of Katie’s wrath or something… Likely he actually fears Katie’s combined forces with Stassi Schroeder, the official plus one of his wedding and entire life. Yes, after all her maneuvering Stassi has finally secured the spot of Maid Of Honor. Unofficially so as not to hurt Kristen Doute‘s feelings, but honestly where else would one place their Celestial Wife in the order of things?
Look below for snapshots from Real Housewives of New Jersey star Teresa Giudice, Vanderpump Rules star Scheana Marie, Real Housewives of Orange County star Tamra Judge, The Bachelor‘s newest couple Nick Viall and Vanessa Grimaldi, and more.
Last night’s Vanderpump Rules traveled through the few remaining days before Tom Schwartz legally yoked himself to Tequila Katie. Actually, Tom has optimistically decided to eulogize Tequila Katie – maybe that explains why they spent $10,000 on flowers! Double-duty for a funeral?
Before everyone converges in the middle of nowhere “where no one can hear you squeal, boy,” (name that movie!) Tom 1 and Jax Taylor must take care of some risky business in the big city. They must summon their courage with a tiny trumpet and drink raw eggs for manliness. They’re doing this for Tom 2. As he relinquishes his bank account, his soul, and what’s left of the d–k he can only partially find, that only partially works, Tom 1 and Jax will be his everlasting strength.
A new roundup of reality TV stars social media pics to kick off your weekend!
Above: Ken Todd and Lisa Vanderpump celebrate the opening of their very pink dog rescue center Vanderpump Dogs. “Thank you to all of you who have come out to support us this week for the opening of Vanderpump Dogs Rescue Center! We are thrilled to be open!” shared Lisa. “Come visit, shop, and adopt a puppy! Follow @vanderpumpdogs for updates! #adopt #vanderpups”
In the land of SUR and SURvival, all amounts to one’s role in the annual photoshoot where themes range from nearly naked, naked, to naked with accompanying awkward sexual encounters. This year Lisa is trying to take that up a notch by adding a last supper of hedonism complete with a fake roasted pigs and grapes on Ariana Madix‘s butt. BUT more on that later – Lisa’s first order of business is to ask Katie why on earth she and Tom 2 went on a vacation and spent the entire time in an extended “flare up”?
Seriously why does Katie call their arguments flare-ups? It makes it sound like a herpes outbreak.