Last night on Vanderpump Rules it was a birthday bonanza! First Ariana Madix channeled her inner child with a potent cocktail of tequila, tears, and trampolines. Then Peter Madrigal channeled his inner manhood with a potent cock-tail of bulldozers, booze, and booty touching in Vegas. Aaaahhh… ain’t nothing like a little boy bonding.
Ariana throws the most major of epic pseudo-kids birthday parties. It was pretty much exactly the same party Kyle Richards throws for Portia, minus the Fat Burger truck, plus an open bar. Ariana rented a bounce house, trampoline, piñata, silly string, face painters, etc. She’s also wearing a bizarre unicorn horn, dangerously protruding from her forehead. It distracts from her side-eye, because it’s like a very pointy third eye. A very pointy third eye aimed directly atTom 1‘s shenanigans. Concerns: what happens when one mixes a unicorn horn with an inflatable bounce house? Somebody’s bubble is about to get burst!
If I were Jax Taylor‘s girlfriend Brittany, after watching last night’s Vanderpump Rules, I’d be breaking up with him. But she probably got into the business of dating Jax by watching Vanderpump Rules, so I’ll assume she’s not surprised by his general assiness and lies.
Before we get into all the drama Lisa Vanderpump meets an early 30-something woman named Arielle with priorities. Imagine! Arielle volunteers with homeless youth (aged 18 – 23) who live in a shelter. Arielle reached out to Lisa and Ken on Facebook because many of these kids have never eaten in a fancy restaurant and have always wanted to. Lisa and Ken of course say yes.
Now, drama. Lala Kent did not hook up with Jax after PRIDE – but not for lack of trying! Lala asks if he wants to get a drink, so Jax pretends he’s not really together with his girlfriend Brittany. Out of sight, out of mind; in sight, in Jax’s bed!
Our favorite reality TV stars cannot get enough of the spotlight during their regularly scheduled time slots, so they take to social media to share even more of their lives with us. And we would not have it any other way. Here’s a roundup of some of our favorite snapshots and selfies from this week. Enjoy.
Vanderpump Rules lives by its own code of ethics. That code being, if you don’t get caught it’s not cheating, and if you don’t get caught cheating with your friend’s boyfriend, you’re still a good friend. Lisa Vanderpump needs to quit re-educating with sommeliers and instead try educating her employees on HUMAN RELATIONSHIPS. Like maybe Communications 101?
Also, I owe Kristen Doute an apology. Sort of. I used to believe James Kennedy was a super-douchey arrogant jerk because Kristen is so insane, but now I realize it was just a case of Like Attracts Like. They’re both total jerks, who, luckily for everyone else, had found each other to terrorize. Now that James and Kristen have split, James is inflicting his assholery on everyone else. Tom 1 and Ariana Madix are “Adulting,” James is instead “Douchebagging Extreme!” Run Lala, run!
Lisa Vanderpump has been doing video blogging for the new season of Vanderpump Rules, which is a bit like a slimmed down version of Peoples Couch. This week Lisa watched and gave her reactions to scenes from the newest episode, including her take on Scheana and Shay’s addiction storyline, as well as Peter chopping off his ponytail.
On James Kennedy’s behavior this week, “I’m seeing James and his arrogance is superseding his talent. Maybe he needs to pull a few busboy shifts right now. What is this? I mean, really? James is so caught up in his arrogance, I almost don’t know this person in front of me right now that I’m watching.”
Scheana, who said she’d much rather go out and watch her friends be messy than stay home and support her struggling husband, admitted the night didn’t turn out as she hoped expected, “I thought it was a great idea to have Kristen come and call James out when he least expected it. The night definitely ended differently than I ever would’ve expected. I was thinking it would be a Stassi and Kristen 2.0 situation and it was the complete opposite.”
Last night on Vanderpump Rules everyone conspired together to sabotage James Kennedy‘s budding relationship with Lala Kent. Poor Lala – she was the unintended mature person caught in a cesspool of stupidity.
Things start with Kristen Doute and James officially splitting. He cheated, she possibly cheated because her phone went suddenly silent. James is haunted by Kristen’s past as a two-timing psycho-confidence killer and never feels he can trust her. Imagine that…
Kristen went home to visit family in Detroit (is that Krazy Kapital of America!?), and James thinks she hooked up with other guys. Sounds like he’s projecting to cover for the fact that he made out with Lala while Kristen was away! While Big Mama K is away the little beanstalks will play!