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For all six of you that plan to watch, tonight is the season premiere of Keeping Up With The Kardashians Season 7. This season the Kardashian-Jenner fam faces a series of heartaches in the wake of Kim Kardashian‘s divorce, but they also experience tremendous joy as Kourtney Kardashian experiences pregnancy no. 2.

From the NBC press release: “Kim has grown closer to her loving family than she ever was before, Kourtney and Scott are preparing Mason for the arrival of his little sister, Khloé strives to spend time with everyone she loves, Kylie and Kendall have discovered new ways to step out from the shadows of their older sisters, Rob is finding his own way in business, and Bruce and Kris go through a rough patch after Bruce reveals that he feels taken for granted.”

The Kardashians will also continue to expand their empire by opening DASH boutique and pimping more products than ever. Oh, joy.

Photos of the family and a video preview of tonight’s episode are below!

WILL YOU BE WATCHING?

CLICK THE CONTINUE READING BUTTON FOR PHOTOS!

Oh Kartrashians…you say one thing and then do another.  Perhaps that is why you are ridiculously hated rich, while I just have the privilege of writing about you.  Me?  I say one thing, and then, well, do it.  Even it’s just taking out the trash.  “I’m taking out the trash.”  And then I take out the trash.  But that’s just me, and my example regarding trash is in no way a comparison to your empire.  Or is it?

Just when you were regaining the tiniest smidgen of respect for Khloe Kardashian for shelving Khloe and Lamar in order to work on her marriage, you may want to rethink your stance.  HollywoodLife.com reminds us that Khloe and her famewhoring sisters stopped by Jay Leno this week, where Khloe dropped a bomb I was totally not expecting.

She told Jay, “I understand people have to sell magazines, but I didn’t pull the plug on any show, it’s not ending. I just said I wanted the summer for ourselves and to be with family and spend time his kids.  Tryouts are in the first week of July. They only take 12, but to be in the top 12 is like a Grammy nomination. I didn’t pull the plug, let’s just call it a hiatus.”  So does this mean there is a future for Khloe and Lamar?  Granted, it’s the only Kardashow I actually don’t hate myself for watching, but I was so proud to see her bucking Kris Jenner the system that I hate to see her back pedal.  But I guess it’s in the genes, so I can’t fault her much.

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They won’t go away, so I am doing my best to embrace them.  Who am I kidding?  Given the allergic reaction I seem to be having, that must mean it’s time for our daily dose of Dash.  First up?  A glorious baby shower hosted by Queen Bee Kris Jenner.

As you know, Kourtney is bringing yet another Disick Kardashian into the world, and her mother graciously hosted a soiree this past Saturday to toast the impending birth of Kourtney’s daughter.  Life & Style reports on the event.  I’m sure of course we’ll all get to see it when it airs on one of their many reality shows.  These folks don’t do anything without cameras present, right Ray J?

A source tells the magazine, “Kourtney’s shower was so nice!  Her mom and sisters were there, of course. They talked, laughed, and played games. There was a bar and lots of different types of foods and desserts, including sushi and little sandwiches.  She seemed happy and excited earlier in the day before the shower. Her son, Mason, was there, too.”

“Lehr & Black did Kourtney’s shower invitations,” adds another ‘insider’ citing, “They were beautiful.”

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Is anything ever what it seems in Kardashialand?  Who’s marrying whom?  Which sister is knocked up?  Which sister is divorcing?  Which sister is forced to forgo college plans so she can bank roll her mother?  Where did Rob go?  Do they just bring him out of the basement when they need him?  It’s a hurricane of uncertainty with the Kardashian Krew.

In recent weeks, all eyes have been on Klamar and the state of their union.  The couple has decided not to continue with reality show, and in an effort to lay low (Kardashian style, of course) Khloe Kardashian was on the cover of People magazine discussing the pair’s marriage.  Baby steps.  The most quotable from that interview was Khloe relaying, “I like to think divorce is not an option.”  Tabloids and blogs everywhere (cough, cough) are now jumping to dissect the phrase “I like to think” in her statement.

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Well, I have some unfortunate news, so I hope you’re all sitting down. The Kardashians will definitely NOT be leaving our TV’s anytime soon – or our pop culture lexicon. Despite Kim Kardashian‘s sham wedding (with accompanying very public divorce) and the tremendous negative backlash from the media and the public, American’s favorite famewhores have just inked a $40 Million three-year reality television deal with E!. So, if this doesn’t confirm that Kimye is a publicity stunt – really, I don’t know what would!

Yes, despite petitions, and threats, and absolute proof that their shows are staged crap – they will be back whether we like it or not!

According to TMZ, the attention-seeking family behind Keeping Up With The Kardashians will continue airing all their dirty laundry – real and created – for our viewing consumption with the lion’s share of the massive deal being split between Kris Jenner, Bruce Jenner, Khloe Kardashian, Kourtney Kardashian, and of course no 1 paycheck, Kim, all of whom will receive equal salaries!

Ironically the numbers for last season’s KUWTK averaged only about 3 M viewers per episode – on par (or below) with most Housewives, but apparently the Kardashians’ scandals and drama are worth their weight in gold for the network; which basically exists purely to broadcast the family’s lives. The deal does not include any new shows! So when Kim and Kanye West start pimping out their totally authentic romance, they will iron out their own deal. Which means more ka-ching!

The less famous and thereby second-rate family members, Rob Kardashian along with Kylie and Kendall Jenner will receive considerably less. Scott Disick and Mason also get a cut of the profit, but they have a separate deal with the network. You know Kris was trying to insure against any possible break-ups!

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If you were looking forward to another epic, over-the-top Kardashian wedding, Kourtney Kardashian and Scott Disick are going to dash your hopes and dreams.  Cancel that viewing party.

This week’s print edition of Reality Weekly claims that Kourtney and Scott are in a hurry to tie the knot and make things official before their baby girl arrives this summer. But with such little time and the more “private” attitude Kourtney takes on her personal life, the couple is looking to have an intimate affair (less than 100 guests) with no film crew in tow. I’ll believe this when I see it.

Kris Jenner is reportedly pushing for the marriage. “Her mom thinks it’s awful that she’s on her second baby and isn’t married and she’s been working to convince Kourtney to go ahead and do it before the birth.”

A friend close to the couple says that Kourtney will only consent if it stays a low-key affair.

“She wouldn’t want something over the top or crazy expensive.  She hates being wasteful and doesn’t do things just for show”, shares a source.

The guest list will be small, and she doesn’t want any bridesmaids, but will have her sisters as her maids of honor.

“Kourtney just wants a big party and have fun with their friends and family”.

TELL US – DO YOU THINK KOURTNEY WILL AVOID A HUGE WEDDING? DO YOU THINK THEY’RE REALLY GOING TO HAVE THIS WEDDING WHILE SHE’S STILL PREGNANT? DO YOU THINK KRIS WILL CRY OVER THE LOST OPPORTUNITY FOR FAMEWHORING AND CASH?

The downfall/humiliation of Kim Kardashian continues as her ex-boyfriend and infamous sex tape partner, Ray J, is finally getting his day in the sun. The man who got pissed on in the money making department of their joint venture, is speaking out and accusing Kim of cheating on her first husband with him!

Promoting his new book, Death Of The Cheating Man, Ray J discusses all his exploits with a character referred to as “KK” (gee, I wonder who that implies?) and according to Life & Style KK heavily pursued him while she was still married to ex-husband no. 1 Damon Thomas! Even worse she left her husband because of the affair! “She let me know she wanted to get with me,” Ray J confesses in his book.

Kim alleges she left the marriage because Damon was abusive to her and her divorce documents indicate that, however, it was Damon who actually filed for divorce from Kim!

“She left her husband for me as soon as we started having sex,” Ray J reveals. “We were like animals — sexually free to to try anything, and we did.” He says Kim was always prepared, putting toothpaste on the toothbrush in the morning and hosting lingerie fashion shows at night! #TMI

Ray J recalls KK being very “attentive” but clingy and over-bearing. “She wanted to know where I was at all times,” Ray J writes. “She literally thought I was cheating with every girl I ran across.” Ray J says Kim’s jealousy was out of control and that’s what drove him to end the relationship and ultimately cheat on her! “She started going to extremes to monitor my behavior,” he explains. He also believes KK cheated on him.

After their illicit and raunchy affair and the release of their sex tape, Ray J says he had no respect for his former bed-mate. “I had no respect for her. I wanted more for my life…[to] find a woman that I could actually trust.”

Upon learning that Ray J is releasing all the details of their sex life together, Kim is apparently mortified. “Kim’s putting on a brave face, but she’s furious about Ray J cashing in on her,” a friend shares. “There’s so much that has gone wrong for her this year — he’s just another person trying to humiliate her.” Well, Kim – you reap what you sew and Karma is a biatch!

Meanwhile, desperately trying to deflect from Kim Kardashian‘s scandal-a-minute life, is Kourtney Kardashian, who recently announced she is having a girl!

Rumors had speculated that the Keeping Up With The Kardashians star was having a girl, but Kourtney denied knowing the sex of her baby. We all knew she was just waiting to sell the big reveal to the highest bidder and guess what, OK! magazine sealed the deal! In a sit-down interview Kourtney and Scott Disick confirmed they are expecting a daughter due this summer.

“I am so, so excited,” Kourtney gushed, adding that she wants the nursery to be white and “really pretty.” Does Kourtney get excited? Kourtney says her family guessed it was a girl, but she didn’t have any idea. “Kim’s been saying things to my mom [Kris Jenner] like: ‘I’ll bet you a million dollars it’s a girl.’” Kourtney says. “So when I told her, she said, ‘I knew it!’”

“I even wanted a girl the first time — and then we had Mason and it couldn’t have been any better,” Scott reveals. “We’re very fortunate to have the combination that everyone wishes for.” Kourtney is, of course, trying to put a damper on Scott’s enthusiasm. “I don’t even think he gets it — the whole girl fantasy land of princesses and all that kind of stuff — but I think it will be really fun.”

Mason, 2, knows a new addition is coming, and Kourtney thinks it will be easier for him than dealing with a little brother. “I think maybe it will be better for him that it’s a girl. It’s not as much competition, but instead, it’s just something completely different.” The couple is also keeping mum on potential baby names. “I feel like you don’t really know the right name until after you meet the baby,” she says.

Shockingly, Kourtney reveals she will be taking two-months of maternity leave and staying out of the spotlight during that time. I’ll believe that when I see it. Kris J is probably hoping all the hype will generate more money when the sell the first baby pics!

Finally, the couple who has been plagued by break-up rumors, claims there is absolutely no truth to the gossip. For once, I kind of believe them! “I find it weird that they want to put a negative light on somebody’s relationship — especially if they don’t know them,” Scott says.

“I’m really good about just ignoring it and not letting it affect me,” adds Kourtney. “I know what’s really going on with us, so I just kind of laugh it off and focus on my family and all the great things we have going on.”

ARE YOU HAPPY FOR SCOTT AND KOURTNEY? DO YOU THINK KOURTNEY REALLY WILL TAKE A MATERNITY LEAVE AWAY FROM THE SPOTLIGHT? THOUGHTS ON RAY J’S SHOCKING REVELATIONS? DO YOU BELIEVE THEM?

The divorce proceedings of Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries are quickly becoming very nasty in light of Kris’ revelation that his entire marriage to Kim was fake – at least on her end – and was created for her reality show. In the latest, Kris’ attorney has every intention of asking Kim and pimpmomager Kris Jenner about whether or not they fabricated scenes on Kourtney and Kim Take New York!

In light of Reality Tea’s discovery that Kim and Kris J had re-shot (or completely made up) a scene where Kim is describing the so-called troubles in her marriage mere weeks after she tied the knot in a lavish multi-million dollar endorsement deal ceremony, Kris H wants more information about the particulars. In the scene, Kim is seen riding in a car with her mom while she was “working” in Dubai, Kim tells Kris that she questions if her marriage was a good idea and expresses feeling unhappy with her husband.

Viewers immediately noticed something suspect about the scene, particularly Kim and Kris’ peculiar emotions and the completely blacked-out car windows. Low and behold, photos surfaced of Kim and Kris dressed in the same clothes, with the same make-up, leaving an LA studio two months after the Dubai trip and months after Kim filed for divorce! This led to speculation that the entire conversation was staged to paint the picture of Kim the deceived wife, unhappy in her marriage, and wondering what to do.

Since Reality Tea’s discovery was splashed all over the mainstream media, Kris’ attorney wants to investigate more deeply about when that scene was filmed and if it was indeed an authentic conversation! Kris filed for an annulment based on fraud – and the details behind this scene could help his case!

“Kris feels that if this is true and the whole conversation was faked, this would help prove that he got married under fraudulent circumstances. Yes, this did occur after the marriage, but this is one clear example that could help sway the judge to grant the divorce on the grounds of fraud,” an insider told RadarOnline.

In fact, Kris may have already known this episode–and others–contained fabricated scenes to paint him as the villain. Shortly before the Dubai episode aired, he tweeted: “I can’t wait for the truth to come out! People will be surprised or maybe they won’t. #FCC.”

The ex-couple could be facing a public divorce trial if a judge rules that Kris’ claims of fraud have validity. Something Kimmie is desperate to avoid! She is seeking private mediation, instead. Kris has publicly stated he believed his marriage was “real” and he went into it with honest intentions. Kim has also stated that, but she’s not exactly a credible person!

In other Kardashian news, Keeping Up With The Kardashians has been cancelled! Just Kidding, just kidding! Totally wishful thinking there!

Actually, it’s some different good news. Kourtney Kardashian and Scott Disick are expecting a baby girl according to Life & Style! “Kourtney was hoping for a girl,” a friend reveals. “She loves having a boy but thinks having a girl would be perfect so she can dress her up and show her the ropes in life.”

Kourtney is anxiously awaiting the family’s newest addition and loves being a mommy. “It feels amazing,” Kourtney said about being a mom. “It’s just so indescribable. You don’t get how good being a parent feels until it happens to you.”

Scott is thrilled about the prospect of having a daughter. “A girl would be a fantastic addition to our family,” he told the mag. Unfortunately, Kourtney’s rep denies the couple is having a girl, claiming, “Kourtney and Scott do not know yet what they are having.” They are probably waiting to sell a magazine story related to the big reveal!

Finally, Kris J is stooping to levels so low in her quest for money, I just didn’t know they existed! The mom of six is now endorsing a sexual enhancer! I’ll pause for the collective “ewwwww!” Kris recently announced her partnership with Zestra Essential Arousal Oils, where she will serve as the company’s spokesperson.

Zestra claims to enhance a woman’s sexual pleasure by heightening sensitivity. “She’s tried it and uses it. She wants to promote great sex,” a source tells Life & Style. Things I NEVER, EVER want to imagine: Kris and Bruce Jenner having sexy times! Indeed Kris is front and center on the company’s website. “I know sex is going to be good with Zestra, so why have sex without it?,” she wonders?

For those that are interested you can find Zestra over-the-counter and it’s “clinically proven” to enhance a woman’s pleasure. Kris J says so herself! Oh, and you can try it for free!

[Photo Credit: WENN]

IS KRIS RIGHT TO QUESTION KIM AND KRIS J ABOUT THE TRUTHFULNESS OF THE DUBAI SCENES? THOUGHTS ON KOURTNEY’S BABY NEWS? ARE YOU GROSSED OUT BY KRIS’ NEW JOB?!

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