The reunion venues for the Shahs of Sunset are getting bigger and so are the accusations. We barely make it through Andy Cohen greeting everyone before the gloves come off, or as Asa Soltan Rahmati observes, the Uzis come out. Asa was of course, a big, pregnant target this season and even in the glow of new motherhood, her cast mates aren’t about to let her off the hook. Even Vida, who usually likes to reserve her most blistering commentary for her own daughter, comes for Asa and trust me when I say her Uzi was fully loaded for that exchange.
Before we go there, I feel like I’m sitting down with a totally different cast than what I saw this season – long gone are any blonde highlights from Mercedes “MJ” Javid and Golnesa “GG” Gharachedaghi. Instead, their hair is dyed as black as their little hearts. Another thing that’s gone is Reza Farahan’s mustache, along with 43 pounds, to be exact. Mike Shouhed and Shervin Roohparvar are bringing the 90s back, with Mike’s emo eyeliner and Shervin’s slicked back little ponytail with the sides shaved.
Jessica took to Twitter to throw shade, saying she only “caught a glimpse” of the reunion because she was “busy filing her nails.” To be honest, I would rather watch Jessica file her nails than watch another second of the Poor Mike show on Bravo. I mean, seriously – do they think we are stupid?! How can they spew such ridiculousness with a straight face??
Back to back nights of reunion specials are always a little much and that couldn’t be truer than with the Shahs of Sunset. It’s just a lot to handle and I think most of us can agree that we need the Shahs in small, weekly doses. But if part one of the reunion could be summed up as evil eyes, extra marital affairs, and extensions, part two’s theme should be business schemes, standup routines, and sex tapes that no one has seen.
We pick up from last night with Vida sitting back and watching the destruction she caused after throwing her patented Criticism Grenade into the heart of the crew. Mercedes “MJ” Javid and Asa Soltan Rahmati are still going at it and MJ really has an axe to grind here. Tommy Feight, drinks his free champagne and is happy as a clam, completely unaffected by the drama going on around him. If anyone can handle dating someone on a reality show, I’m starting to think it is Tommy.
It’s that time again, where the Shahs of Sunset gather around a large spread of food and rip each other to shreds. If I were to sum up part one of this reunion, in a few words, it would be: evil eyes, extramarital affairs, and hair extensions. So. Many. Extensions. Asa Soltan Rahmati isn’t wearing them but she made up for her lack of fake hair in about sixty pounds of tacky jewelry.
The Shahs of Sunset reunion kicks off tonight and if the preview clips are any indication, I’m going to need lots of wine to get through it.
The reunion starts off with Mike Shouhed discussing his split from Jessica Parido. Andy brings up the nasty TweetsReza Farahan and MJ Javid both sent to Jessica once she went public (on social media) with a new guy. They both feel that Jessica thought Mike was going to be her gravy train (hahaha, as if!) and call her a gold digger. You gotta love how hard they’re trying to make us forget that Jessica left him because he’s a cheater.
Last night, the Shahs of Sunset reunion ended without Jessica Parido sitting in the hot seat, with Mike Shouhed agreeing to go out for post reunion drinks with the ‘friends’ who just trashed him for hours, and with some “to be continued … next season” nonsense.
Asa Soltan Rahmati and Reza Farahan shared their thoughts on Mike’s place in the group and the reunion as a whole with Bravo. When asked if Mike can “make things right” again, Asa said, “Mike can absolutely make things right with the group if he cares enough. We go way back. Our friendships are sacred.” If “if he cares enough” is code for “if he begs master Reza enough” and “sacred” is code for “dysfunctional,” then I totally agree.
About her first reunion, Asifa said, “I was feeling very anxious and a little jittery. So much happened all season long and there was a tremendous amount of pent up anger on so many different ends. It was like a volcano waiting to erupt. I can confidently say it was an intense feeling for all, kind of like being on the Titanic right after hitting the iceberg. Who would feel comfortable walking onto a sinking boat?” Eh, I’d feel comfortable as long as MJ‘s boobs were on board.
With that said, Andy Cohen kicks things off by asking the Shahs of Sunset why they refer to themselves as Persians and not Iranians. MJ acknowledges that Persian is technically not correct, adding, "But we do enjoy using the word Persian because it rolls off the tongue. It's pretty."