With that said, Andy Cohen kicks things off by asking the Shahs of Sunset why they refer to themselves as Persians and not Iranians. MJ acknowledges that Persian is technically not correct, adding, "But we do enjoy using the word Persian because it rolls off the tongue. It's pretty."
According to Reza's blog, he went to the season two reunion with the sole purpose of revealing "truths" and confronting MJ about her issues with alcohol and pills.
"Denial is truly a destructive emotion and regardless of where MJ is at, we all know and have witnessed her excessive use of drugs and alcohol," Rezablogged. "I'm at the end of my rope and don't want to see MJ overdose or even die, that would be unbearable. If I have to be the bad guy or the mean one, I'm happy with those titles as long as my friend is alive and well. That's all I want. I can't sit by and watch MJ self-destruct."
The short recap: Lilly annoys. Asa mouths wow and Mike smiles pretty. Mean girls Asa and Reza attack GG and MJ. Asa mouths wow and Mike smiles pretty. Reza pouts when he doesn't get enough attention. Asa mouths wow and Mike smiles pretty. I pretend Lilly's hair and boobs form an alliance to take down Asa and Reza.
Picking up where we left off, Lilly preaches how it's illegal to have a knife at a dinner party. What is she talking about? This skinny bitch obviously never had to cut a steak or a loaf of bread. When Asa Soltan Rahmati says she's leaving because the dinner party is "so wack. literally," Reza pushes Golnesa "GG" Gharachedaghi to start apologizing. A smug-faced Asa sits on her imaginary throne, waiting, and GG says, "I personally didn't want to violate you in a physical form, and I am sorry for that. I can't say that I'm sorry for the source of my anger, but I am sorry that I had to react to my anger in that way." Asa busts out the air quotes to mock GG's "apology" and says GG is crazy and doesn't deserve her friendship.
Will someone please shove a diamond down Asa's throat so she shuts up? She just goes on and on, talking over GG, which makes GG lose her patience. Asa says, "You've been nothing but whack. For one year, you've been nothing but whack." GG mocks Asa right back, saying, "wha-wha-wha-whack!!!" Do adults seriously use the word whack so much?
Season 2 of Shahs of Sunset has taken Bravo viewers by storm. The hard-partying Persian crew has learned from its network counterparts and created some over-the-top drama. Friendships have been formed and destroyed. Relationships break-up as quickly as they began. Whether Golnesa "GG" Gharachedaghi is swimming in whiskey and battling Asa Soltan Rahmati or Reza Farahan is stirring the pot, people are watching, and they are enthralled. Of course, don't even get me started on the shallowness of self-proclaimed Persian Barbie Lilly Ghalichi!
Mercedes "MJ" Javid was at the center of controversy this season, as she tried to play the middle man for friends turned foes. Her partying was called into question, and her relationship with biffle Reza suffered. Not phased, MJ has been sharing her path to self-confidence. As she should…MJ and cast mates have almost reached Housewives franchise status. The gang is getting a two-part reunion and a lost footage show. That's how you know you've arrived, Bravo style!
Asa is headlining the Persh-a-Pelooza (Bravo's spelling) because she fancies herself the Persian Pop Priestess. Reza gives Asa a citrine stone for good luck, and Asa likes its energy. Lovely. She'll be making citrine milkshakes next season. #staytuned
Reza ruins Asa's warm and fuzzy rock feelings by insisting she have dinner with GG. Asa says she's far too busy playing pop star and spreading her love energy to worry about GG, adding, "GG's malicious. She doesn't value anything. There's nothing human about her. I don't want people like that in my life." Reza is like, Asa, I gave you a rock! Asa is like, You play dirty. Fine. One second of anything slightly wack, I'm out. Deuces!
Asa needs to find the most perfect budget-friendly chakra-shattering diamond to make her diamond water. Diamonds are interesting little things. They contain vibrational energy that is the original energy from the creation of the world – and stuff. Asa meets with a diamond broker and puts her special brand of crazy right out there, saying, "I'm making beautiful diamond water infused with real diamonds." Diamond guy is like, Oh wow. Interesting. Let's go to the VIP room in the back. That's where we take our rich and/or cray cray customers.
When diamond guy brings out a small box of loose diamonds, the universe leads Asa to two envelopes. Asa holds a 9 1/2 carat diamond up to her forehead, feeling it with her third eye chakra, and says it feels amazing. Diamond guy tells Asa that this particular diamond – the most remarkable, vibrational, drinkable diamond on the planet -.costs $325,000. Asa is like, It's not that special, what else you got?
While Mike slept off a few bottles of vodka, his dream of a drama-free weekend went awry. First, MJ and Lilly got snippy with one another, and then MJ and Asa traded nasty words and insults. When Asa called MJ a pill popper, MJ left the attack scene. To the camera, MJ said, "Asa asking me if I popped a pill… worst thing anyone has accused me of. Ever." Asa is all like, what did I do? and why is this all about me? That act is getting stale.
One hour later, Reza, Lilly, and Asa are hot tubbing it and Sammy and MJ are Cabo clubbing it. Asa tells Reza and Lilly that she feels bad about what went down with MJ. Reza laughs. Asa goes on to say, "When she attacks me, I feel bad for because I know her mom is crazy." Reza laughs. Reza thinks it's "his business" to make sure he "protects" MJ. Someone needs to look up "protect" in the dictionary. Lilly thinks the lines are blurred because the person who has the substance abuse problem is also the life of the party. Asa says, "We all think it's cute… and so MJ," to which Lilly adds, "That is not cute; that is a hot mess."