Last night's episode of Shahs of Sunset was fairly uneventful. For me, it felt like a filler episode to set up the showdown betweenReza Farahan and Mike Shouhed on the next episode. Oh but Mercedes "MJ" Javid did do some of that pesky thing us regular folks call a job! I guess that's worth noting.
To kick things off, Reza and Adam Neely are off to the mall. Reza pokes fun at Sears and Nieman Marcus in the same mall – this coming from the man who has Louis Vuitton shoes and IKEA furnishings in the same apartment. As they walk through the mall, Reza and Adam talk about the menu for their upcoming housewarming party, and they just happen to come across a Beluga caviar vending machine – a small can of caviar costs $3500, cash only. First, gross. Second, no problem for Reza, who whips out a wad of $100s. Adam wants to know who carries around that kind of cash, Reza says immigrants! Reza gives Adam props for going with the flow, adding, "With a little more training, he could be the quintessential perfect Persian wife."
Golnesa "GG" Gharachedaghi and Asa Soltan Rahmati take a Tai Chi class in the park. Asa thinks it'll be good for GG, who lacks impulse control. At the same time, GG tells us, "MJ makes me want to cut her t*ts off and bitch slap her with them." Tai Chi just makes GG horny. Better luck next time, Asa.
Lilly,Joanna and Carmen headed out to RivaBella restaurant together. Lilly, who normally doesn't partake in anything fun besides work, shared on Twitter why she decided to enjoy a night out. And made sure we knew the details of her outfit…
"I usually go to bed after my long days of work, but I'm starting my New Years resolution now, to be more fun . Quick change and off to girls night with @jackketso @carmenelectra @joannakrupa Rocking a @lovenookie dress with #hermes Birkin bag and #brianatwood pumps custom bling'd by @crisrockzit #ghalichiglam."
GG took to her Bravo blog to list all the reasons she's upset with MJ.
First, according to GG, MJ needs to "back the f–k off" her sister, Leila. "When Leila tells me that she and MJ are talking and hanging out all of the time, it makes my blood boil," said GG. "What the f–k is MJ trying to prove by hanging out with my sister? If she and I are not getting along, then she needs to stay far away from anything related to me."
Ratings wise, Real Housewives of Atlanta was Sunday's top cable telecast, with 3.777 million fans tuning in for the ongoing drama surrounding Kandi and Todd. That's a new season high for the ladies of Atlanta. Congrats!
Bravo tortured us with two (too many) episodes of Shahs of Sunset this week. An impressive 1.977 million tuned in on Sunday, thanks to RHOA's lead-in, but only 1.2 million came back for more drunken shenanigans on Tuesday.
As if two episodes of Shahs of Sunset in 48 hours isn't bad enough, this one kicks off withMercedes "MJ" Javid showing off her boobs. Thank goodness Bravo isn't broadcast in 3D. MJ says she's spent thousands of dollars trying to simultaneously keep her boobs under control, cinch her waist, and eliminate back fat – to no avail – so she has decided to design her own bra and shaping garment. MJ "shapes" the air right out her lungs, explaining, "I have the tiniest waist, it's just not being cinched properly." #delusional
Meanwhile, Jessica is converting to Judaism for Mike Shouhed, although he has yet to propose. Mike and Jessica go through the motions of a traditional Jewish wedding ceremony during class, and Mike starts to sweat. Mike reminds us that he used to be the MVP of Vegas (Most Valuable Persian) and I think about the smug Shahs of Sunset tagline, "We don't work in buildings. We own buildings." Now? Mike rents bus wraps, so he needs to get over himself and put a ring on Jessica's finger before someone else does.
Bravo treated us to an extra episode of Shahs of Sunset this week to boost viewership – IMO – and it worked! A whopping 1.977 million viewers tuned in to Shahs of Sunset on Sunday night, when only 978,000 bothered to watch the regularly scheduled episode just two weeks ago. I hope the Shahs of Sunset plan to send thank you notes to the Real Housewives of Atlanta.
As I expected, Reza lashes out at Mike, "How audacious are you to call me to uninvite me to a disgusting float that's an embarrassment to the gay community. I am disgusted." Reza hangs up on Mike, returns to asking Mirror, Mirror who is the finest gay Persian in all of L.A.
Reza later tells Adam that he's furious with Mike – how dare he be excluded from an event?!? But Reza had no issues cheering on his co-stars as they uninvited Mercedes "MJ" Javid and Golnesa "GG" Gharachedaghi from trips and parties last season. Reza tells Adam he needs time to decompress, which is code for, perfect a sob story that'll help justify his repugnant behavior.
"The intensity on Shahs is getting huge," tweeted GG. "So this week we'll be giving y'all an episode on Sunday and another on Tuesday! This is a one time thing so get ready for an amazing ride of drama!"