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Shaunie O’Neal

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I know what you were expecting from last night's Basketball Wives.  You were expecting the norm.  A refined and intelligent Suzie Ketcham lunching with a calm and centered Tami Roman, right?  Shaunie O' Neal and her pin-hole sized nostrils supporting friends as Evelyn Lozada empowered women and Tasha Marbury explored genius and well-thought out business plans…sure, we'll go with that.   

We begin with Evelyn and Tami are dishing on all things Tasha and Big Diva. Tami understands what Tasha is trying to do, but she thinks she should perhaps be better advised in her business ventures.  Evelyn jokes about kicking Big Diva in the throat, but at least she didn't say anything about head-butting.  Thankfully, Tami's eyes are free from asbestos poisoning, and she reveals to Evelyn that Tasha tried to come for her when she regretted to the party. Oh, is that what happened?  Evelyn admits that she, Shaunie, and Suzie left long before Tasha arrived.

Shaunie is throwing her son Shareef a thirteenth birthday party that she has dubbed the Bro Mitzvah.  He wants over a hundred and fifty guests, video vixens on each arm, big name rappers performing, and a fiery entrance. Shaunie is going to do her best.  Whatever happened to a sheet cake and a roller skating rink?  And we wonder why kids today are so entitled.  Sorry, I think I morphed into my grandmother for a second there.

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So, this whole new season of Basketball Wives: L.A. is really going to happen, isn't it?  The Sister Govan are out (they've got their own gig now, y'all!), and Bambi is too busy hanging out with a certain member of the Love & Hip Hop Atlanta cast to rejoin the group.  Thankfully, my three favorites, crizazy Jackie Christie, changling Draya Michele, and the beautiful Malaysia Pargo will be back, and they are going to be joined by two new ladies.

And speaking of new ladies, Basketball Wives creator Shaunie O'Neal isn't too thrilled with newbie Tasha Marbury.  She's used to having people kiss her bum, so I think Shaunie's a bit thrown by the fact that Tasha doesn't seem to give a tiny toot about Nostrils or her posse of puppets.  

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Well, well, well.  What a funny turn of event, huh Nostrils?  Last season, none of the viewers wanted Basketball Wives to return, but Shaunie O'Neal and her puppets friends were dead set on proving to us all that they'd changed…and for the better, y'all!

Now, the women are back with more tears, minimal violence (so far), and, ironically enough, no desire to continue doing the show.  Not only has Tami Roman hinted that she won't be returning for season six (if there is one), but now Evelyn Lozada is trying to distance herself from BBW and its antics (most of which, I must point out, have been hers).

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I love a Basketball Wives episode that starts back just a smidge before the previous one ended.  VH1 wants to make sure we know how upset Evelyn Lozada is with Tasha Marbury and Suzie Ketcham for their insensitive giggling over head-butting jokes, but they don't take us back far enough to relive Tami Roman losing her cool over a hand gesture.  Shaunie O'Neal just sits back with her puppet strings.

And just like that, Evelyn's tears fall like rain (again) and she exits the restaurant with the Puppet Master running after her friend.  "Am I being dramatic?" Evelyn asks. Finally, a question we all want to answer.

Later, Evelyn is shooting the cover for Vibe Vixen, and she questions Tami as to whether she overreacted to Tasha's joke.  Tami understands why her friend is upset and suggests that Evelyn have a talk with Tasha about her hurt feelings.  She is actually proud of Evelyn as last season's variety would have thrown a drink (or a chair, or a shoe, or a wine bottle) at anyone who looked at her the wrong way.  I guess we all just pretend that Tami didn't just pop off on Evelyn during lunch for a misplaced hand. Okay, I'll play that game.

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You can certainly tell a lot about a lady by the company she keeps, and if you're striving to be besties with the women of Basketball Wives, that may not fare very well for your character…at least in my opinion.  It seems that Tami Roman has found out the hard way.  I'd like to feel sorry for her, but we all know that's never going to happen!

As much as she promises that she's changed for the better, Tami recently got fighting mad (literally) at pal Evelyn Lozada for giving her the hand.  Tami has also gotten upset with co-star, current frienemy, and BBW creator, accusing Shaunie O'Neal as trying to define her by her violent, bullish past.  You know, up to this point, I'd thought that Tami was making a mountain out of a mole hill regarding Shaunie's "it could go really good or really bad" comment (Seriously, I can't believe that we're still talking about that one sentence).  Now, however, I don't put it past Shaunie to quietly instigate.  She is, after all, the cast's puppet master!

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Oh Basketball Wives…how I'm starting to miss the in-your-face antics.  If I am subjected to more of Evelyn Lozada's crying or Tami Roman's passive aggressive hair stroking, I may lose it.  Don't even get me started on Shaunie O'Neal's "new found voice."  Thank goodness for the cool Tasha Marbury and the kooky Suzie Ketcham or I might just give up on this mess altogether!  Who am I kidding?  I couldn't even if I tried…

Last night's episode had all of these attributes and more. Evelyn wants to placate her daughter's fears that her mother is reconciling with Chad.  She reveals that she did text Chad that day for his birthday.  She just wanted him to have a blessed day, but that's the extent of their chatting.  Sure. Evelyn wants to know if her daughter was worried about her during the photo debacle.  Her daughter basically calls her out and says she wasn't worried, and she reminds Evelyn that she totally put herself in that situation.  Preach. Am I so much on auto-pilot with this crew that I missed the fact that Shaunie was producing a play about Basketball Wives?  She thinks it will be a much needed positive spin for the brand.  She's looking forward to seeing some scene run-throughs while she's in New York City.  

Evelyn and Tasha go shopping and discuss Tasha's peace talk with Tami. Evelyn still isn't totally convinced that her friend has changed.  She's knows Tami will always be one to cut a b!tch. For her part, Tami is meeting with a life coach in hopes of getting rid of her anger issues. She knows she won't turn into Mother Teresa overnight, but it's worth a try. Tami shares with her life coach Shaunie's "it could go really good or really bad" comment regarding Tami meeting Tasha a bazillion episodes ago.  Really, VH1?  This statement is now what constitutes an entire story line?

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Guess who is the latest reality star to be crying foul over editing?  Why it's Basketball Wives' Tami Roman!  It seems she isn't a fan of Shaunie O'Neal's producers' repeated attempts to paint her in a negative light.  On the flip side, with all her crying over Chad Johnson, Evelyn Lozada seems to be gaining slight sympathy among viewers (or is she?).  

Fear not though, as Tami can prove she's becoming  a better person.  She's even buried the hatchet with former nemesis Meeka Claxton who sued her for assault!  

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Last night's Basketball Wives marked the fourth straight episode of Evelyn Lozada crying over Chad Johnson, and Tami Roman trying her darndest to start something with Shaunie O'Neal despite her positive life changes.  It was also the fourth straight episode of Tasha Marbury staying above the drama and Suzie Ketcham talking out of both sides of her mouth (only this time, she's not gossiping, she's just finally healing from her jaw surgery!).

We started back in Evelyn's counseling session.  Her therapist encourages her to figure out what she would do if there were no kids, media, or feminist groups involved. Again, I'm sorry…why are all of these people trying to get her back together with a head-butter?  We all know that the head-butting incident wasn't isolated.  I'm not saying that he was violent towards her multiple times, but their relationship was broken by both of them long before they walked down the aisle.  The therapist wants to know what are the wonderful things about Chad that the public doesn't know.  Is that you, Mrs. .Ochocinco Johnson?  Seriously?  With a glass of wine and dose of common sense, I'm more of a therapist than this lady.

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