In this week’s Game of Crowns, we revisit the fallout of Nick’s rampage at the Mrs. America pageant. Susanna Paliotta’s daughter shows us how to “LOL.” And there’s a lot of tea and bagels showing up. It’s sort of a snooze-fest, but it’s all in preparation for the upcoming Mrs. New England States pageant, which is right around the corner.
We begin at Shelley Carbone’s CT home where she is in the kitchen talking to her 3 kids and setting a good example for her children by…feeding them. And the dog. She reminds the kids that they need to finish up their homework so they can all head to Lynne Diamante’s tea party later.
This episode of Game of Crowns can be summed up by the following statement: Nick the cop is crazy. After last week’s TMZ report of Nick biting Vanassa Sebastian’s husband’s ear not once, but twice, during a brawl at the “non Bravo sanctioned” GOC preview party, one can only watch Nick’s antics toward the ladies in last night’s episode with a tainted lens – otherwise known as totally accurate judgment. Oh, and besides getting screamed at and threatened by Leha Guilmette’s husband (and his father!), the ladies also competed in a Mrs. America pageant. So, let’s get to it.
We’re reminded that Lori-Ann Marchese and Leha are both in Arizona competing for Mrs. America while Shelley Carbone, Vanassa, and Susanna Paliotta are flying down to bet on them like racehorses support them. We pick up outside of the airport where Vanassa and Susanna’s matchy-matchy twinkie jumpsuits caused a major blowout, with both women screaming insults at each other. The trio manages to load their luggage into the car, get to the hotel, and choose appropriately distanced bedrooms from their respective frenemies despite the drama. Once there, Susanna takes Vanassa aside to “work through their issues.” Susanna claims she feels bad for Vanassa because Vanassa is the “typical alpha male” who needs to “pee on everything to mark her territory.” Ironic coming from the woman who went to great lengths to wear the same tacky jumpsuit as Vanassa with the express purpose of starting World War Who Cares.
Last night was the premiere of Bravo’s new pageant-based show Game of Crowns. I’m quite surprised we don’t have a Mrs. Pageant girl amongst our Housewives, but perhaps Bravo was saving all of them for this new gem of a show!
The party was held at Foxwoods Casino in CT last night to watch the premiere episode of the show, but the husbands were too busy biting and snapping at each other to let their wives bask in the glory. No word on what caused the incident but witnesses report that the husbands got into a raging brawl and Nick “went ballistic” and bit Brian’s ear TWICE! during the altercation until security stepped in.
It’s go time! In Game of Crowns’preview special, we were introduced to the cast of middle-aged, um, beauty queens who are in contention for this season’s Mrs. America pageant. Here’s the formula for this show: Toddlers and Tiaras, plus 40 years, minus any Trace of Youthful Innocence, plus Plastic Surgery = Game of Crowns! Let’s get started.
We open at Shelley Carbone’s Connecticut house, where she’s practicing saying the word, “prestigious” in the mirror while wearing a crown and sash. Fellow former competitor Vanassa Sebastian arrives, blinking and smiling as much as her frozen facial features allow. She reminds us that she is a certified nurse anesthetist and puts people to sleep for a living. Vanassa asks the viewers, “What other Mrs. America contestant can say that they pass gas for a living?” Groan.
They’re called Mrs. Pageants. And they look like they’re going to be the perfect combo of women-of-a-certain-age shellacking themselves and each other into dresses and hairpieces, meaty husbands supporting (threatening?) them in the background, poor-man’s Vegas costumes, and a healthy sprinkling of good ole fashioned backstabbing. Game of Crowns is a hot mess, missus style.
We meet Vanassa Sebastianfirst, the alpha female of the group, a breast cancer survivor and Native American from the Passamaquoddy tribe. Vanassa is no pageant virgin, having competed and placed in a former Mrs. America pageant, and formerly won Mrs. Connecticut. Vanassa’s husband, Brian, co-owns Foxwood Resort & Casino (Where my uncle goes to play the dollar slots on the regular. My aunt does not approve. Foxwoods is spoken of in hushed tones in our family circle.).
“Game of Crowns follows six pageant wives competing on the ‘MRS. CIRCUIT’ whose lives revolve around glamour, perfection, and winning at any cost. The cast includes Shelley Carbone, Lynne Diamante, Leha Guilmette, Susanna Paliotta,Lori-Ann Marchese, andVanassa Sebastian. From trophy wives to pageant moms, these ultra-competitive ladies share their love of the game and will stop at nothing to win pageants for beauty queen status. The ladies will compete to snatch the spotlight while viewers watch their intense preparation, which includes obsessing over the perfect swimsuit, working tirelessly with trainers, and honing their interview skills. How will the women settle their scores both on the stage and off?”
Game of Crowns premieres Sunday, July 13 at 9/8C on Bravo. Check out the cast photos and bios and the trailers below.