Can we make the anthropologists regulars on Sister Wives? Finally they are asking the questions I want answered…except for the big one–why does Kody Brown own so much denim?
Kody and Janelle are still trying to get to the bottom of the movie theater brawl between Garrison and Gabriel. Before punishing Garrison for smacking Gabriel by not allowing him to go on his ROTC trip to Hawaii, Kody calls in Paedon as a witness. Gabriel has been swearing up and down that he didn’t touch his brother, but Paedon confirms Garrison’s story. Yes, Garrison smacked Gabe, but only after Gabe slapped him. Knowing he’s been caught in a lie, Gabriel’s cheeks turn red and he’s on the verge of tears. Kody questions why he was so afraid to tell the truth…it’s not like he’s ever been spanked. I just wish this poor kid was being disciplined off camera. He is totally embarrassed. They take away a privilege, but Janelle knows the shame of being caught is the bigger punishment. Christine wonders if she can now trust Gabe, and Meri has decided that she and Kody are going to dress as the denim twins.
Much like all of us have been doing for several seasons, anthropologist students have decided to research why four women have decided to spend their spare time braiding Kody Brown’s hair. On last night’s Sister Wives, social scientists moved into the cul-de-sac compound to study the true dynamic among Meri, Janelle, Christine, Robyn and their brood of children. I want to know the time line of when these episodes were filmed. Was it before or after the great wife swap of 2014? Perhaps that will be addressed in the SECOND HOUR…or not (really, TLC?) of last night’s Sister Wives, which is aptly titled “All About Robyn.”
Christine is thrilled to have her mom Annie moved into her home, although the kids are taking some time to adjust to another adult in the house. That evening, Kody makes the announcement that four anthropology graduate students will be coming to visit and study the family. Kody believes these grad students have hit the jackpot with his family. The students’ professor coaches the students on what to watch for…who is the sex wife? Who is the love wife? Will there be another wife? Potentially the young student who is now fearful she needs to fake a relationship to thwart Kody’s advances? The wives and Kody go to meet with the students to set some ground rules. The students don’t want to be treated like guests.
I was strangely anticipating Christine’s mother’s addition to Sister Wives last night? The thought of another woman adding to Kody Brown’s misery makes me a bit giddy. It has the potential to be pretty amazing, although given how boring this season has been thus far, I won’t hold my breath. How many road trips can one family take? Oh wait? Another road trip on last night’s episode? The Browns should buy stock in U-Haul.
Mykelti and Aspyn are moving into their apartment, and Christine is devastated that she’s losing her free help and baby-sitters. She has a genius plan…she’ll invite her mother to come live with her to fill in the gap. How about actually taking care of your kids yourself? Nah, too easy. Her two eldest daughters are excited to be moving in together. The sisters have come a long way in their relationship from the fighting preteens they once were. Mykelti jokes that they can practice being sister wives. Aspyn wisely believes that actual sisters as sister wives is a terrible idea. Both girls agree that their half-sister Mariah would be a hard person to be sister wives with if they had to choose. You think?
That’s right, folks! We’re still road tripping with Kody Brown and his wives on yet another family vacation with the objective of meeting some more polygamists! Last night’s Sister Wives begins as the crew treks across Utah. Not surprisingly, Christine is still bitter that Kody isn’t willing to ask his friend for an apology over an offensive comment made about Kody having multiple wives. You couldn’t pay me to stay in those RVs. Geez, don’t these ladies clean? Janelle is already to cash out on this vacay, and I can’t say I blame her. Robin and Meri are presenting a united front of staying in the background….that’s a first for once!
Kody calls a meeting of the wives, and Christine apologizes for adding tension to an already miserable situation. Meri thinks that Christine needs to keep her mouth shut, and Robyn opines about how hard it is when Kody is feuding with a wife. Clearly, the other wives are going to side with Kody, but it can cause a rift among the sister wives. I really don’t feel like it’s a big deal given that the ladies really don’t like each other anyway. Kody lectures Christine about her hormones emotions, as they cause him to be on the defensive. He’s not a fan of PMS. Oh no he didn’t! Christine understands his questioning and admits to suffering from PMS. So sorry that her body isn’t syncing up to Kody’s idea of what a menstrual cycle should be. He’s the king of the d-bags, and Christine won’t let it die. Hurt feelings, you know!
So did anyone change the channel from the Golden Globes to tune into Sister Wives? I think Kody Brown’s hair could have trumped any of the celebrity manes on the red carpet!
Last night was yet another road trip with the Browns to–you guessed it–meet another polygamist family! We also learn that the latest lady to move into the cul-de-sac compound is Christine’s mom. Mykelti is clearly her mother’s daughter when it comes to enthusiasm, and Janelle is nervous about returning home. After the vacation, Janelle hopes to speak to Meri about their tumultuous past. The family’s first stop is at their friend’s polygamy museum. Of course it is. Kody plans to hit him up for a business loan for My Sister Wife’s Closet. Kody asks for about $100,000, but his friend wants collateral for the loan. Perhaps Robyn would suffice? I just don’t see how that tacky jewelry inventory is worth securing that amount of money.
So two hours of Sister Wives, anyone? One hundred twenty minutes of Kody Brown’s mane. Thankfully, last night’s episode starts with everyone preparing for Mykelti and Madison’s graduations. The girls go to different schools so there will be double the opportunity for Meri to make a scene at the ceremonies. Christine compares Mykelti’s nest leaving to that of daughter Aspyn who she believes was more prepared for the transition. Madison, on the other hand, can’t wait to high tail it out of Las Vegas and head to college in her former home state of Utah. Janelle promises that she won’t turn into a sappy mom (ahem, Meri) as her daughter packs her room.
With everyone wondering about Robyn’s pregnancy (she did look pretty pregnant last season), she has her own little sofa session where she admits that Aspyn asked if she was pregnant while the family was watching the slide show featured on last season’s finale. After Aspyn approached her, more and more family members inquired as to whether she was having a baby. Well, we can stop the bump watch, folks! Robyn states that she is too busy with My Sister Wives Closet to even think about having another child…at least at the moment.
How are we already at the end of the Sister Wives’ season? It’s reunion time, and Tamron Hall is hosting Kody Brown, his hair, and his four wives, and she is such a class act. Right off the bat, she revisits Meri’s decision to get a wet bar go back to college and Kody’s stick straight locks in the scene. Geez, it’s horrible. Kody is supportive of his first wife’s plan, but Robyn is just a ball of fun when she learns the news. The sighing and the jaw clenching is intense. Meri is tearing up just watching the playback of the situation. Robyn tries to clarify that she didn’t feel betrayed, but she did feel ditched. She doesn’t want Meri to find better friends outside of the family…um, these women aren’t friends. Christine thinks that Meri heading back to school is the best thing for Meri. Since Mariah left, Christine feels that Meri has disengaged, and fulfilling herself through college will be just what she needs to find happiness.
Next we go back to the time that Kody pounded on his chest and talked about hormone swapping through make-out sessions with Mykelti and her now former boyfriend. Kody is so proud of his little speech, and Robyn once again reminds us that pre-marital sex is bad, bad, bad. Christine loves that Kody makes kissing sound gross to potential suitors. Tamron looks perplexed by the entire conversation, and I can’t say I blame her. The topic segues to the importance of My Sister Wives’ Closet. Finally, Janelle speaks, and she looks amazing. Tamron chides Kody about his temper tantrum in the counseling appointment where he said he never got to be the leader of the family. He is constantly asking for permission from his wives and seeking a consensus. Robyn praises Kody for being a great leader. I wonder if she ever gets tired of constantly stroking his ego…
I know y’all are sad you won’t be seeing Kody Brown’s gorgeous locks, fancy side ponytail, and denim tuxedo for a while, but alas, last night was the season finale of Sister Wives. The family is back in Las Vegas, which means no more road trip hijinks or Kody shiz shows when “someone” forgets to tightly screw in the tube on the camper’s sewage valve. Ahh, memories. Instead, the season’s final episode treated us to yet another family party. These folks have to commemorate every event with a veggie tray and mission statement, that’s for sure.
The family is prepping for a slide show that chronicles the family since Kody’s wedding to Meri up through his (not recognized by law) union with Robyn. Good times! The crafy Browns are also putting together a scrapbook of their journey through the years. Robyn is thrilled because it’s the first album in which she’ll make an appearance. Self-absorbed much? Kody is strutting a blue tooth (what is this 2009?) and that horrible ponytail that makes him look like a cartoon samurai while dodging inquiries from Christine and daughter Aspyn about Robyn’s growing belly. He fumbles over a “no, she’s not pregnant, what are you talking about?” statement while grinning ear to ear. Don’t ever play poker, Kody. Really. Don’t.