I can't. I just can't. The Real Housewives of Orange County may be the original housewives (although most aren't, in fact, wives), but sometimes they are also the most ridiculous. Let's take Gretchen Rossi, for example. She's not a wife–and with Slade Smiley as her beau she may never be one–but, like her counterparts, she loves to talk about whatever it takes to keep her in the spotlight.
For example, last week, Gretchen was yapping about how former best friend/current nemesis Alexis Bellinocopied her hairstyle…because that's news. This week, Gretchen is sharing with us her workout routine while applauding herself for overcoming bulimia. Wait…didn't Alexis say she struggled with bulimia growing up when the ladies took a quick trip to Texas during season six? Who is the copycat now, Gretch?
Real Housewives of Orange County is not going to go quietly into oblivion following their explosive seventh season. Oh, no – they’re clinging, grasping, mawing, and groping for attention like a flock of famewhoring zombies. Which is actually a great description of what actually happens with these reality stars. But back to the story…
So a couple weeks ago Micah Tanous (that guy who was the husband of one-season Housewife Peggy Tanous) took to twitter to announce that some of the ladies of RHOC were buying twitter followers. Oh, you don’t say. Apparently the very bored girls of the RHOC who do not want us to forget they exist in the off-season turned it into a major scandal (in their eyes).
After exonerating themselves from any misdeeds where the buying of fans is concerned they decided one lady was guilty as accused. And just who did they coincidentally deduce was the guilty party? Alexis Bellino!
Reality Television has made us laugh, made us cringe, and most of all, made us realize that some people are just crazy. Proving that when you get a whole bunch of famewhores in a room to rehash a season’s worth of petty slights, silly disagreements, and passive-aggressive warfare; things can get really scary. A reunion is one place I’d never go without a bodyguard.
Below we count down our TOP 7 Reality TV Reunion Meltdowns. Oh, pseudo-celebs, you don’t ever disappoint!
Alright, kiddos – sit down, get your Orange County oranges spiked with some champagne, and join us. We’ve got some Real Housewives of Orange County drama to report. Hot on the heels of a massively popular reunion – ratings wise, at least – the girls are still defending themselves in the press.
According to LALate News over 2.5M people tuned in to watch the ladies scream at each other while Andy Cohen got attacked by a bird. How’s that for pecking order?
First up, Slave Smiley took a break from running Grayson Entertainment to give an interview to Wetpaint. I hope he got compensated for it – he has child support to pay. Among the many scintillating details Slave revealed, the in-the-know and very busy working professional disclosed that Bravo is in the midst of making some changes to the cast!
Well, Slade is again protesting against reports that he is a jobless deadbeat dad! Speaking to WetPaint, Slave says the allegations hurt his feelings and simply aren’t true.
“I was in real estate,” Slade says of his career pre-Housewives, “I was technically a consultant.” But NOW, oh but NOW, he runs Grayson Entertainment, a company which puts together endorsement deals for celebrities. Doesn’t he mean puts together endorsement deals for ONE pseudo-celebrity who goes by the stage name of Gretchen Christine?
Deep in the middle of Real Housewives of Orange County, it was a beautiful clear night overlooking the Pacific Ocean. It could have been the setting from a movie, but instead it was real-ish life. And from Heather Dubrow‘s palatial lawn stars dotted the sky of what should have been a perfect evening. Sadly, an evil eye had befallen the enchanted party and instead of an evening of friendship, love and celebration – it was one recriminations, accusations, and petty slights.
‘Perhaps the drinks flowed too abundantly?’ Heather thought to herself. ‘Perhaps I was too liberal with the invitations?’ she pondered. But then she remembered, she had sold her soul; let it all slip away and now Bravo owned her – they owned her home, her celebrations, and even her name. Well, at least for next couple years. Oh, well might as well make the best of it. Champs for all!
Last week there were issues over a bow. Some loose ends were left untied and Sarah Winterchester, the faux-heiress (who left her holler for the wilds of Orange County), was being shown the door at this exclusive party. Sarah began to realize the Xanax in her purse was a bad idea (OK, I made that part up). Also a bad idea – letting herself be talked into attending a party where she was out of her element, nervous as hell, and wearing the dress she bought at the adult superstore on Sunset. All in all, mistakes were made and she would suffer for them. One can escape the trailer park, but never really escape the trailer park. Just ask Tamra!
In her Bravo blog, Vicki compares Tamra to Jeana Keough, writing, “I…believe Tamra should not have chosenHeather [Dubrow]’s party to replay her drama with the wine episode with Jeana. Remember why Tamra was mad at Jeana last year? To refresh your memory, it was because Jeana was getting involved in Tamra and Simon’s marriage and “butting in.” Hmmm. . .isn’t that what she has been doing with Brooks and I?”