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Slade Smiley

scrap bambi

You know what I think?  I think that Bambi, Malaysia Pargo's best friend and sometimes cast member on Basketball Wives: L.A. is VH1's answer to Bravo's Slade Smiley.  Why else would she keep "dating" reality stars from the same show?

When we last saw Bambi, she was nuzzling the neck chin and shoulders of my favorite bobble head Benzino (seriously, I kind of adore him) pre-Kirk Frost threesome in the woods.  Well, now she's moved on to one of Benzino's Love & Hip Hop Atlanta cast mates, and it's too bad that this didn't happen before the reunion because an altercation between Zino and this guy would have been amizzznigheeazing!

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Vicki-Brooks-+-Gretchen-Slade

The Real Housewives of Orange County's drama is never ending, but the ladies certainly seem to be ramping up their public appearances on the heels of all of the reunion insanity–and to think, we've got one more installment!

The O.G. of the O.C. Vicki Gunvalson continues to go on (and on and on and on) about her depleted love tank, and Gretchen Rossi is still devastated that her frienemies thought her proposal to Slade Smiley was just for the cameras.  So it wasn't? What these ladies fail to realize is that they keep replaying the same old story lines…and the season is done filming!  

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gretchen-rossi-ok-magazine

Fact:  The friendship between Real Housewives of Orange County's Gretchen Rossi and Tamra Barney deteriorated just as quickly as it was rekindled.  I think we've all figured out that Tamra's loyalty (what little of it she may have) lies with Vicki Gunvalson.  And lie they do, according to Gretchen!  Truth:  I love Reba McIntyre but I am not surprised that something called Malibu Country didn't last.  It's lived longer in this feud than it ever could have on cable.  Fact:  Bravo really needs to put a length restriction on their blogs.  Truth: I tried to just give y'all the highlights!  

In her Bravo blog, Gretchen writes about the infamous Jay Photolou situation, "Fact: The man the women continue to bring up I took to court and won seven counts against. In order to find someone guilty of punitive damages the jury needs to find that person acted with fraud, malice, or intent. Furthermore the claims he tried to bring against me for defaming him, false light, and slander, the jury found in favor of me and not of him."

She continues, "Fact: Tamra says in one breath at the reunion that she still doesn't know all the details of what really happened between me and this man but then five seconds later she is whipping out pictures and seems to think she knows exactly what happened between us. She can't even keep her stories straight. She continues to challenges Lauri [Peterson]'s accusations saying 'If she didn't see them in bed together then she really doesn't know what happened.'"

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lydia-mom-judy

We all were shocked to see Lydia McLaughlin's mom verbally assaulted by Vicki Gunvalson's son-in-law Ryan last night. 

Judy was tired and wanted to put her feet up when Ryan accosted her during last night's Real Housewives of Orange County finale, ripped her a new one, called her the b-word and then tried to play the revisionist history game and blame the whole thing on Judy. And yeah, nice try. 

"My poor mom," Lydia begins in her Bravo blog. "It's super hard for me to watch that scene unfold. I wasn't in the room with her when the whole Ryan confrontation took place. However, my brother and sister-in-law were there and they left right after because they couldn't believe what they saw." 

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gretchen-rossi-slade-smiley-engaged

Are we ready for this?! Tonight is the season finale of Real Housewives of Orange County

Last week we all saw Gretchen Rossi propose to longtime love Slade Smiley. It was a really authentic moment and all y'all complete with a song you can buy on iTunes. Well not everyone is happy for the couple.

Tamra Barney admitted that her former friend (yep, you heard it: former) proposed for a storyline. And not only that Gretchen is a terrible liar just like Tamra always thought. 

Upon hearing Tamra's comments, Gretchen insists her love and her desire to get married is completely genuine and Tamra's comments are really hurtful. 

"I'm on a reality show so it seems silly that I wouldn't consider filming that," Gretchen tells ABC News. "I think it's ironic that it's coming from the cast member that just recently got married on TV and got her own spin-off," Gretchen adds. "It's very hurtful."

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The Los Angeles premiere of 'Smurfs 2' - Arrivals

Does anyone remember not so long ago when former mortal enemies Tamra Barney and Gretchen Rossi became best buds?  The Real Housewives of Orange County duo were thick as thieves as they gossiped about their other besties.  It was good times, right?  RIGHT?

Well, seasons change, and the women are once again on the outs thanks to wedding gown shopping and Reba McEntire.  "Here's your one chance Fancy, don't let me down."  But let each other down both fancy pants did, and now they are back to snarking about each other on social media.  That didn't take long.  Full circle, some might say…

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rhoc-proposal

If ever there was a reason to say no to a proposal, it was an autotune-botched warbling of a wannabe Taylor Swift. And that proposal came courtesy of Gretchen Rossi. But of course Slade Smiley, who has been practicing the trickling of a single tear in the mirror for weeks, did not say no. Oh no … HE said yes! And it was all over-acted to puke-fection. 

So yeah, let's start there shall we with the Real Housewives of Orange County proposal that just went on and on and on and on. Phase One: Slade at work at his radio station pretending he has a job like doing things on the radio. I was always convinced he just put up some microphones in Gretchen's overly cluttered garage, but apparently Radio Slade is a for realz thing. 

Slade's partner announces a new song. A voice, a voice like mystic magic floating over clouds of heaven comes soaring over the airways. 'That sound…' gasps Slade staring off into the distance. I think someone has been watching The Sound Of Music… That voice, that he does not recognize because even WITH heavily deployed autotune it still sounds flat, plastic, and phony as hell (not unlike its owner), is Gretchen. And that song is asking him to marry him.

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Gretchen Christine Rossi at TAO Beach

Oh thank goodness Gretchen Rossi is making money off the uber romantical and so super special and intimate proposal song she (and a team of Bravo hired producers) wrote for Slade Smiley.

That's soooooooooo special, y'all. Like the most beyond special-ist thing ever! So yeah, if you want to own your own little piece of television's most loving moment like ever you can buy it on iTunes.

The audio for this stunning love ballad is below. And you can be assured that autotune has been heavily deployed, even though like Gretchen doesn't need it because Real Housewives of Orange County producers intentionally made her sound worse on the show, just like because they're mean and like hate her and stuff! Not at all because she can't actually sing… 

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