Quick, what’s the next celebrity wedding on the calendar? Heck, what’s the next regular person wedding you can think of? Is it yours? Your best friend’s? Bottom line: Are you or is someone you know in need of a wedding officiant?
If so, may I suggest Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi to guide you and your betrothed through your vows? You know you’d love it. Fist pumping down the aisle? Check. Cheetah print bridesmaids dresses? Check. And when you leave the reception? Cabs ahh heeya! It will be Jersey Shore nuptials of the finest caliber and you didn’t even have to humiliate yourself on the show to get to this wonderful place in life.
It’s no secret that I am a massive fan of the GTL. Sure, my gym is feeling inadequate when I only get 20% of my daily Fitbit steps while walking back and forth to the office copier with no other form of exercise. My tanning is of the spray variety, if at all…and that’s only for special occasions when orange is better than transparent. As for laundry, let’s not even go there. But I adore those kids of the Jersey Shore. I loved them when they were wasted fools making a mockery of everything Seaside Heights wanted to preserve, and I have enjoyed seeing them grow into actual normal(ish), successful adults.
That said, following Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi’swalk down the aisle with Jionni LaValle (who recently lost his license thanks to a DUI) has been a lot of fun. Who doesn’t love to see a true friendship like Snooki and JWoww’s that was born of reality television. It’s a true rarity…like a unicorn, or a decent, handsome, rich guy who opens doors, pulls out chairs, and pays my student loans. That said, there were some guests missing from Snooki’s nuptials. I don’t really care about the whereabouts of Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino, but where, oh where was my precious Vinny Guadagnino? Sidebar: is it weird that I have to look up the spelling of “notoriety” (I just did again…always want to put an “a” in it) any time I want to use it, but “Guadagnino” is ingrained in my own personal spelling bee?
While it isn’t exactly what I thought Jionni LaValle would be doing two days after his wedding to Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi, I’d say that a court appearance for a recent DUI puts him right up there with the behavior we’ve come to expect from reality stars. Sure, he married the fist-pumping, alligator loving, Britney-flashing, publicly intoxicated meatball from Jersey Shore, but Jionni always seemed to be the mature one…the voice of reason…the one who, you know, calmed the orange beast.
Obviously, there is nothing funny about drunk driving, but I have to say I am in shock that he was able to keep the arrest under wraps. That’s how we know he’s not a true reality star–his bad judgment wasn’t a catalyst for publicity! I doubt it’s even featured on the final season of Snooki & JWoww….
I know I say it every time I have to write about Snookiand company, but seriously, did any of you see this coming? I loved Jersey Shore, but I never thought the cast would end up actually maturing into calm, functioning members of society…and making cute babies to boot! Sure it was fun to watch them face plant in bars, fist pump in clubs, and tan until they were more orange than an Oompah Loompah, but I didn't realize it would be just as much fun to see the kind of people they've become. GTL4LIFE! Cabs ah heeya!
Snooki has since traded alligator slippers for diapers with the absolutely precious Lorenzo, and she's planning her dream wedding to fiance Jionni LaValle. The couple is expecting their second child together, and he or she will totally be besties with JWoww'supcoming new addition (a girl!)! In an adorable video posted by the reality star, Snooki and Lorenzo learn the gender of the new baby. Jionni has planned a reveal, and it's hilarious to see their reactions!
Blue or pink–what do you think?
CLICK THE CONTINUE READING BUTTON TO WATCH THE VIDEO AND FIND OUT WHETHER SNOOKI AND JIONNI WILL BE WELCOMING A BOY OR A GIRL!
After rising to fame by getting drunk and fighting on the Jersey Shore, Jenni "JWoww" Farley — and her partner-in-crime Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi — are starting to show us on Snooki & JWoww that they are growing up just like everyone else. Growing up and growing out with their baby bumps, that is.
Most celebrities paint an unrealistic picture of pregnancy. Like it is all ponies and rainbows. But JWoww is no ordinary celebrity. The reality star star recently sat down to talk with In Touch Weekly about her pregnancy and for her, that means no sex. Sorry Roger!!
JWoww and Snooki hit the red carpet at the MTV Movie Awards over the weekend with their baby bumps on full display, quite a change from their hard-partying days on the Jersey Shore.
Jenni "JWoww" Farley, who is having a baby girl in July, proudly showed off her expanding waistline in a form-fitting, plunging black dress. While Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi, who just announced her pregnancy last week, wore a bright floral dress, making you have to squint to see her barely there baby bump.
The tight twosome spoke to Us Weekly on the red carpet about the ups and downs of pregnancy, baby names and which Jersey Shore cast member is not getting a wedding invitation.
I have a confession to make: I love (and miss) those crazy kids from Jersey Shore. Admittedly, I wasn't onboard when MTV's train wreck originally started, and my dear friends who raved about it and subsequently got me hooked piddled off after the second season. I didn't. Granted, I had to watch it for Reality Tea, but I so would have watched regardless…however, it was nice to have the guise of the blog to hide my true addiction. I could GTL (well, technically just "L") with the best of them. On the rare occasion I call for a taxi, I whisper "cabs a heeya" to myself when it arrives. True story.
Vanderpump Rules' Scheana Marie recently said that wedding spin-offs are "boring," and it's the only thing on which I will EVER agree with her. However, I'd totally watch Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi walk down the aisle. Of course, I'd want the entire gang (sans Jolie Trashbags) involved. Alas, I don't think I'll get my wish of televised Seaside nuptials (although my fingers remain crossed!), but it seems that Snooki's wedding to fiance (and dad of the cutest tiny guido gorilla juicehead toddler) Jionni LaValle is full steam ahead. After a year long engagement, Snooki has finally started planning the exciting event!
Now, JWoww and Rog are sharing the gender of their little one. Roger took to Twitter, joking, "Been 4 years trying to figure out one girls brain. Now I get to try and figure out another one. Grey hair is in my immediate future." Oh Rog…I'm sure they make product to cover that!