If you had told me back in 2010 that a post-Jersey Shore Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi would appear on additional reality shows, my money would have been on Celebrity Rehab or some other franchise that reeks of Dr. Drew. Don’t get me wrong, I loved the fist pumping, cahhb cahhlling, Sunday dinner eating, GTL-ing, DTF-ing, Shore Store employees probably more than the average fan, but I didn’t really predict any sort of staying power. Of course, we all know I’m an idiot.
Not only has most of the cast matured and done very well for themselves, Snooki went on to star in a reality spin-off with bestie Jenni “J-Woww” Farley(with another one on the way!). She got married to Jionni LaValle, and the couple has two ridiculously precious children. While she still has a penchant for all things animal print, those giant sneaker slippers (I’m hoping) are a thing of the past. That’s right, guys, our little meatball is all grown up, and she’s embarking on a new reality endeavor for the FYI network. I think this is what is known as “adulting.”
Don’t these tabloid people know that you should never, ever, piss off a pregnant woman? That is, unless you want to feel her wrath. That’s exactly what happened to Jenni ‘JWoww’ Farley recently when she read a story about herself in Star Magazine that was clearly not true. The magazine, known for publishing fabricated stories, decided to share one with a “witness” who watched Farley get drunk while she was expecting. You can only imagine what happened next.
Let’s just say that the Snooki and JWoww star, who also just found out that she is expecting a baby boy, was not too happy with the magazine, and immediately went on a social media rant about the false story, blasting the magazine. What’d she say? Hop inside to find out!
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Nicole welcomed her son, Lorenzo, in 2012 and her daughter, Giovanna, in 2014. Over the weekend, Nicole and Jionni LaValle threw a joint birthday party for Lorenzo and Giovanna at Ort Farms in New Jersey. Nicole went all out with a Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse theme and everyone at the party enjoyed the fall activities at the farm.
Quick, what’s the next celebrity wedding on the calendar? Heck, what’s the next regular person wedding you can think of? Is it yours? Your best friend’s? Bottom line: Are you or is someone you know in need of a wedding officiant?
If so, may I suggest Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi to guide you and your betrothed through your vows? You know you’d love it. Fist pumping down the aisle? Check. Cheetah print bridesmaids dresses? Check. And when you leave the reception? Cabs ahh heeya! It will be Jersey Shore nuptials of the finest caliber and you didn’t even have to humiliate yourself on the show to get to this wonderful place in life.
It’s no secret that I am a massive fan of the GTL. Sure, my gym is feeling inadequate when I only get 20% of my daily Fitbit steps while walking back and forth to the office copier with no other form of exercise. My tanning is of the spray variety, if at all…and that’s only for special occasions when orange is better than transparent. As for laundry, let’s not even go there. But I adore those kids of the Jersey Shore. I loved them when they were wasted fools making a mockery of everything Seaside Heights wanted to preserve, and I have enjoyed seeing them grow into actual normal(ish), successful adults.
That said, following Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi’swalk down the aisle with Jionni LaValle (who recently lost his license thanks to a DUI) has been a lot of fun. Who doesn’t love to see a true friendship like Snooki and JWoww’s that was born of reality television. It’s a true rarity…like a unicorn, or a decent, handsome, rich guy who opens doors, pulls out chairs, and pays my student loans. That said, there were some guests missing from Snooki’s nuptials. I don’t really care about the whereabouts of Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino, but where, oh where was my precious Vinny Guadagnino? Sidebar: is it weird that I have to look up the spelling of “notoriety” (I just did again…always want to put an “a” in it) any time I want to use it, but “Guadagnino” is ingrained in my own personal spelling bee?
While it isn’t exactly what I thought Jionni LaValle would be doing two days after his wedding to Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi, I’d say that a court appearance for a recent DUI puts him right up there with the behavior we’ve come to expect from reality stars. Sure, he married the fist-pumping, alligator loving, Britney-flashing, publicly intoxicated meatball from Jersey Shore, but Jionni always seemed to be the mature one…the voice of reason…the one who, you know, calmed the orange beast.
Obviously, there is nothing funny about drunk driving, but I have to say I am in shock that he was able to keep the arrest under wraps. That’s how we know he’s not a true reality star–his bad judgment wasn’t a catalyst for publicity! I doubt it’s even featured on the final season of Snooki & JWoww….
I know I say it every time I have to write about Snookiand company, but seriously, did any of you see this coming? I loved Jersey Shore, but I never thought the cast would end up actually maturing into calm, functioning members of society…and making cute babies to boot! Sure it was fun to watch them face plant in bars, fist pump in clubs, and tan until they were more orange than an Oompah Loompah, but I didn't realize it would be just as much fun to see the kind of people they've become. GTL4LIFE! Cabs ah heeya!
Snooki has since traded alligator slippers for diapers with the absolutely precious Lorenzo, and she's planning her dream wedding to fiance Jionni LaValle. The couple is expecting their second child together, and he or she will totally be besties with JWoww'supcoming new addition (a girl!)! In an adorable video posted by the reality star, Snooki and Lorenzo learn the gender of the new baby. Jionni has planned a reveal, and it's hilarious to see their reactions!
Blue or pink–what do you think?
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After rising to fame by getting drunk and fighting on the Jersey Shore, Jenni "JWoww" Farley — and her partner-in-crime Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi — are starting to show us on Snooki & JWoww that they are growing up just like everyone else. Growing up and growing out with their baby bumps, that is.
Most celebrities paint an unrealistic picture of pregnancy. Like it is all ponies and rainbows. But JWoww is no ordinary celebrity. The reality star star recently sat down to talk with In Touch Weekly about her pregnancy and for her, that means no sex. Sorry Roger!!