To be honest, Tinsley Mortimer is in over her head with the Real Housewives of New York cast. She just seems way too nice and (relatively) normal to survive among the sharks. Then again, this season is so boring, it’s hard to judge how she would be on a RHONY season at its typical caliber.
During the last episode, Tinsley was (finally) looking around at apartments so she can move out of Sonja Morgan’s townhouse. Other than that, she had the misfortune of being cornered by Harry Dubin at Ramona Singer’s party. I have no idea why people are still inviting him to things, but he always brings the drama and it’s much-needed this season.
On last night’s Real Housewives Of New York, Carole Radziwill and Dorinda Medley take it to the streets, heading to D.C. for the Women’s March, while back in NYC Ramona Singer shellacs her hair back in a tragic Blonde-Ambition-meets-Pinot-and-Ambien look and throws a party with the shadiest guest list she can summon. Ramona’s informant friend Missy, who accused Tom D’Agostino of snogging her in a limo while concurrently being engaged to Luann De Lesseps, is resurrected from her UES cryogenic chamber for the evening to confront the recently married couple. Meanwhile, Tinsley Mortimer continues planning her escape, and Sonja Morgan tries to understand what the hell Frenchie is saying.
We begin with Tinsley and Carole meeting for lunch, where they break Tinsley’s sad situation down: She’s living with an oppressive tyrant and needs to move out. Her mom is coming into town to help her apartment hunt, in fact. Carole and Tinsley were also invited to the Winter Botanical Garden, which solidified them as new “pals” in the social rags. It also helped Tinsley’s socialite comeback tour, which she still sadly imagines is real.
I don’t know about y’all, but the Countess has taught me everything I know about social graces. No, money really can’t buy you class. If she hadn’t shared that kernel of wisdom, I certainly wouldn’t have learned it from the bevy of reality stars that clog up my Bravo programming. Also, don’t be all uncool. Who wants to be uncool in the eyes of Luann de Lesseps D’Agostino? Not this girl, that’s for sure!
As you know, the Real Housewives of New York star tied the knot to her controversial beau Tom D’Agostino on the latest episode, proving, yet again, that money doesn’t buy class, but it can cause a middle aged woman to turn a blind eye to said new husband’s blatant shenanigans by going through with a very elegant wedding ceremony. And, might I add, what we know about elegance is thanks to Luann. It’s learned, my friend. Now, I’m going to pour out some of my Ramona Singer pinot for the Countess, as she is no longer, but what a great ride it was.
Bethenny breaks down her thoughts on this week’s episode, which she says was certainly easier to live through than last. “Well, this week was a little lighter,” she comments. “If I can host a party where Dorinda Medley experiences ‘just the tip’ and Carole Radziwill swigs from a luge, then my holiday work is done.” Bethenny’s marketing and sales work is done too, I assume, as that holiday party obviously was one giant Skinnygirl commercial.
After months of deflection, derailment, and Tom D’Agostino’s devilish doings, Countess Luann de Lesseps finally married the man who offers her the lifestyle of her dreams. Yes, Mrs. Luann D’Agostino is now a commoner! Jet setting to Palm Beach, vacationing in Aspen, lolling around the balcony of her Manhattan penthouse wondering whether she should eat another peeled grape. In short, she’s just like us! If we were filthy rich and married to questionable dudes. But the ladies of The Real Housewives Of New York aren’t quite done questioning Luann’s every move, and they have another chance to openly gawk at her happiness when she invites them to a post-wedding celebration.
Speaking of parties, Bethenny Frankel hosts one of her own – but guess who’s not invited? Okay, we all know it’s Ramona Singer. Because homegirl went NUCLEAR last week in the Berkshires and is persona non grata to both Bethenny and Dorinda Medley now. Poor Dorinda is still resurrecting her house from the Ramonsoon that all but destroyed the joint, not to mention Sonja Morgan jacking her PJ’s in broad daylight! There’s also moving afoot. As in: Adam moving out of Carole Radziwill’slitterbox apartment, and Frenchie moving into Sonja’s townhouse. Tinsley Mortimer, as always, is left pondering the life choices that brought her to this tragic rung on the downwardly mobile socialite ladder.
I really don’t understand the tension between Shep Rose and Craig Conover on Southern Charm. Aside from the fact that they are both pretty similar, I don’t see why there is so much animosity between the two of them and why they are constantly calling each other out, but it’s getting old.
During the last Watch What Happens Live episode, Shep called Craig out via tweet for calling him out on the show for trying to get with Chelsea Meissner while she was clearly with Austen Kroll. Yes, I get that sounds confusing, but they both came out swinging. Next time Andy Cohen needs to have them both in the clubhouse. That would definitely be an interesting episode.
This Real Housewives of New York season has been pretty lackluster so far, but Ramona Singer and Bethenny Frankel’s argument in the Berkshires amped up the excitement. Ramona really took things to another level with her outburst of insults. Later she pulled a #TotalHousewivesMove and claimed that she “didn’t remember” whatever she said to Bethenny. Right. As if any of us believe that.
Now that some time has passed, the episode has aired, and people are hating on Ramona, she is defending herself. Not only that, but she’s addressing the destruction she (allegedly) left behind at Dorinda Medley‘s Berkshires house.
Bethenny does pull a spread eagle while screaming at Ramona though, which sort of feels like a low rent Wonder Woman move gone dangerously awry. And Ramona uncorks the long-buried demons of Scary Island as she eviscerates Bethenny like never before. Her motto last night: When they go low, I go Pinot! In essence, the drama this week is served upside down, with a twist of crazy. Just the way the Housewives like it.